Giving praise at work is an important part of being a manager. It’s also simply part of being a coworker. But the details of how to give praise are often overlooked: be specific, don’t over praise, praise minor accomplishments (or obscure ones) as well as major feats, and praise behind someone’s back as well as in front of. Here’s my favorite: don’t damn with faint praise. As the director of my high school choir once said to me, “When you started with us, you couldn’t sing your way out of a bucket. And look at you now.” Gee, thanks!
A study comparing behavior of toddlers to bosses (I’m not kidding) found that toddler behaviors, including being overly demanding, interruptive, impulsive, tantrum-throwing, and self-oriented, in bosses had increased up to 50%. So if your boss acts like a toddler, you must not be alone. You’re probably also a bit frustrated.
Why Are Boss Egos Expanding suggests four tips for dealing with a toddler-like boss:
• Praise unselfish behavior demonstrated by your boss - Positive reinforcement of good behavior works. Encourage selflessness at every chance. If your boss takes even the slightest step in refocusing toward you, toward others on your team or in your office, praise it lavishly.
• Model good teamwork - Show that no one person can carry the entire office. Demonstrate through your words and actions how to cooperate by giving others credit when it’s due. Praise others for their teamwork.
• Find ways to make your needs known - Give your boss plenty of advance warning that you have other tasks that need your attention - diplomatically. Don’t provoke your boss, think “educate” your manager, without being patronizing.
• Help your boss understand the effects of selfish actions - When your manager takes self centered actions that have negative consequences for you, the team or your working relationship, point it out in a non-threatening, non-emotional way.
If you use a laptop in public places, you might peruse tips for securing your laptop. One of the most curious things to me is that apparently people leave their laptops unattended in public. There are locks for this sort of thing, of course, but I would just assume the laptop would walk off.
Here are some tips for gracefully asking someone for her/his name when you’ve forgotten it. Here’s my favorite:
4. The “You’re brilliant!” dodge:
“Wow, you have a terrific memory. I can’t believe you remember my name from that meeting six months ago. I can’t remember the names of people I met yesterday! So of course I have to ask you your name.”
The Chronicle of Higher Ed has an interesting article about blogging as an academic on a job search. The long and short of the advice? Just don’t do it.
We all have quirks. In a traditional interview process, we try our best to stifle them, or keep them below the threshold of annoyance and distraction. The search committee is composed of humans, who know that the applicants are humans, too, who have those things to hide. It’s in your interest, as an applicant, for them to stay hidden, not laid out in exquisite detail for all the world to read. If you stick your foot in your mouth during an interview, no one will interrupt to prevent you from doing further damage. So why risk doing it many times over by blabbing away in a blog?
We’ve seen the hapless job seekers who destroy the good thing they’ve got going on paper by being so irritating in person that we can’t wait to put them back on a plane. Our blogger applicants came off reasonably well at the initial interview, but once we hung up the phone and called up their blogs, we got to know “the real them” — better than we wanted, enough to conclude we didn’t want to know more.
It’s probably worth noting that most of the blogs that candidates had were personal blogs, in which they overshared their lives.
Everyone who freelances has a story of a client who attempts to low ball, not necessarily intentionally. Here are four potential approaches to combat this:
- The educational approach. In this approach you assume that the client really doesn’t know that the pay they are offering is too low for the type and amount of work required. Your tactic is to inform them of the proper rate for your work and refer them to a neutral site that lists average costs or pay rates for the type of project they are requesting.
- The expertise approach. This approach is particularly effective for freelancers with a lot of experience. In this approach you highlight your experience and explain why it allows you to do a better job on the project (making you worth more to the client).
- The task approach. This is often used as a follow up to one of the other approaches. Clients often assume that projects are much easier to complete than they actually are. For this approach you use the strategy of listing the actual tasks that you will perform.
- The walk-away approach. This response is typically used only when a potential client shows that they are totally unwilling to negotiate. While sometimes a client may relent on their low price if they were bluffing, be aware that this tactic usually sends a client elsewhere.
If you’re spending time reviewing your current resume, here’s a list of phrases and terms that you’ll want to remove. They all seem dated:
. Results-oriented professional
. Cross-functional teams
. More than [x] years of progressively responsible experience
. Superior (or excellent) communication skills
. Strong work ethic
. Met or exceeded expectations
. Proven track record of success
. Works well with all levels of staff
. Team player
. Bottom-line orientation
You can find some alternate suggestions here.
I’m pondering the choices at the freelance folder for Five Mini-Vacations that Won’t Cost Much or Disrupt Your Schedule:
- Day at the park — Many cities and towns have parks that are open to the public. Often, admission to a city park is free or you can enter a state or national park (in the U.S.) or a low fee. Pack a picnic lunch and plan to spend the day exploring nature. Be sure to take advantage of any natural features (such as swimming) at the park that you visit.
- Movie night — Pop some popcorn, rent a few of your favorite movies, turn out the lights, and have your own movie marathon night right in your own home. Laugh, cry, and cheer for some of the best actors of all times (your favorites). Be sure to turn off the phone and any instant message services you subscribe to. For one evening, don’t give a thought to your freelancing business.
- Be a tourist in your own town — We often don’t visit the “attractions” located near to our homes. You can save a fortune in transportation costs and hotel bills by playing the tourist in your own town. Grab a list of local tourist attractions from the Internet and make that your guide for a day of fun. Be sure to bring your camera for those all-important tourist snapshots.
- Get active — Spend a day focusing on your favorite sport. Not only does physical activity relieve stress, it’s also good for you. As freelancers (and web workers), sometimes we live as though we are virtually chained to our computer monitors. I don’t need to tell you that’s not very healthy. So, grab your golf clubs or phone your tennis partner and spend an active morning (or afternoon) for a change.
- Volunteer your services — While this might not seem like a mini-vacation at first glance, volunteering can actually help you to relax and feel better about yourself. To find a place to volunteer, phone your favorite charity and ask how you can help. Also, many larger cities have volunteer networks that can match your specific skills with a need.
We’ve been doing a lot more of the local “staycations” on the weekend, which aren’t so much novel as they’re things we should probably do anyway (local parks, anyone?)
Any other ideas for cheap and non-disruptive ways to get away?
Here are some tips for identifying and preventing burnout. They are specific to therapists, but good ideas for the rest of us too.
You know what illegal question I often get asked in job interviews?
What’s your nationality?
I get that question probably because my last name is Greek, and was shortened at some point during the immigration process so it ends in “son,” which suggests it’s Scandanavian, perhaps, but I sure don’t look Scandanavian.
I usually just say “Greek” if someone asks. And then we move on. However, asking about nationality and ethnicity during the hiring process is a no-no. So how do you answer those questions if the question is far more than you’re willing to answer? Legal Ways to Answer Illegal Questions gives some great tips.
While web sites like Monster and Careerbuilder allow you to apply for jobs on-line and with relative ease, you shouldn’t be under the impression that you can get away without avoiding tailoring your resume for every job you apply for. You do need to customize that resume.
A few tips for customizing your resume:
* Use a Summary Section at the top of the resume (right under the address) to describe yourself in the language of the job advertisement. The Summary is now considered preferable to describing an objective at the top. The Summary does not need to be in complete sentences.
* Use the language of the job advertisement in the body of the resume. This means using the same action verbs as in the advertisement.
* Edit your resume. Check that all verbs for past jobs are in the past tense. Check that all verbs for current jobs are in the present tense.
* One to two pages is all you get unless it’s a CV and you’re an academic.
* Do not list hobbies or volunteer work unless it is relevant. If it’s relevant, by all means, list it at the very bottom.
Good tips for making your workplace friendly to the bicyclist-commuters.
Brainstorming has made it into most corporate environments, but we don’t all do it that well as participants in a brainstorm or leaders. Who hasn’t been in a brainstorming session that was interrupted by someone critiquing an idea? Or tried to lead a brainstorm when someone attempts to dominate the brainstorm?
Here are some key questions to consider for better brainstorming:
1) Who is in the room?
*What is the gender diversity in the room? It should be 50/50 male female if you want to represent your consumer base in any industry
*What are the experiential levels in the room? You should include individuals just entering the workforce as well as those that have been in their career for some time.
*What is the ethnic diversity in the room? It should represent your global consumer base.
*Do you have consumers in the room with you? Invite your customers to the table of business invention.
2) During the brainstorming process, who gets to speak?*Do you call more on those people you know best? Spread your attention around.
*Does each person get a chance to speak, or do you just automatically open up the room to whomever wants to talk? Make sure that you give each person a chance to write down their ideas — then go around the room to hear from each person.
*If you don’t understand a person’s response, don’t just move on to the next person. Stop and ask them to clarify their thinking for you.3) What is your leadership body language? Ask yourself:
*Do you look each and every person in the eye?
*Do you unconsciously ratify — say, by nodding at them — the ideas that are most in line with yours?
*Where do you stand? Who are you facing?
How often do you hear that? Not often enough.
This year, we’re on a payment plan because we owe a lot of taxes (and because certain clients haven’t paid me—ahem!), but we filed our return a month ago anyway. Because of the state of the economy, the IRS promises to be lenient in terms of working out payment plans, late fees, and all that good stuff but you do need to file in the first place (or ask for an extension):
With job losses mounting and the economy in shambles, the IRS has promised to be kinder and gentler to those who are struggling to pay their tax bills. The agency is offering to waive late penalties, negotiate new payment plans and postpone asset seizures for delinquent taxpayers who make a good-faith effort to settle their federal tax debts.
But agents will continue to impose big penalties on those who simply neglect to file an income tax return.
“We also have to be tough on those who flout the law and won’t pay what they owe,” said IRS Commissioner Doug Shulman. “The American people who play by the rules every day expect us to go after those taxpayers who don’t pay their taxes.”
I suppose that’s true. I’d like more people to play by the rules. Or the rules to change. Here are some tips if you are a last minute filer. And note that not all post offices are open late. I repeat: not all post offices are open late.
Too often we buy into the myths of leadership. One particularly damaging myth is that “It’s lonely at the top.” Here’s an interview with a leadership expert, Warren Bennis, about avoiding falling into that trap.
CBD: I once heard a fascinating keynote address delivered by a young executive at a world-famous medical products company. He spoke frankly about how close he came to failing in his first high-profile leadership role some seven years earlier, and how he turned his performance around. In your experience, what distinguishes leaders who can pull away from disaster from those who plunge right over the edge?
WB: The understanding that they can’t lead alone. The myth about leadership is that it’s a solitary act, that “it’s lonely at the top.” But effective leaders know the truth of this passage from Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451: “We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?”
Leaders, like the rest of us, have all sorts of ways of not looking at themselves, of overlooking shortcomings. For that reason, leaders need not to be alone. They need to be “bothered” by people who will give them what I call reflective back talk.
There’s also some good tips for avoiding reflective back talk.
I’ve been making my way through 100 Resources for Laid-Off Employees. There’s some really good stuff here.
For whatever reasons, some organizations are in the throes of a Meeting Problem, and it is life-threatening. Seth Godin has tips for managing your meeting problem:
*Understand that all problems are not the same. So why are your meetings? Does every issue deserve an hour? Why is there a default length?
*Schedule meetings in increments of five minutes. Require that the meeting organizer have a truly great reason to need more than four increments of realtime face time.
*Require preparation. Give people things to read or do before the meeting, and if they don’t, kick them out.
*Remove all the chairs from the conference room. I’m serious.
*If someone is more than two minutes later than the last person to the meeting, they have to pay a fine of $10 to the coffee fund.
*Bring an egg timer to the meeting. When it goes off, you’re done. Not your fault, it’s the timer’s.
*The organizer of the meeting is required to send a short email summary, with action items, to every attendee within ten minutes of the end of the meeting.
*Create a public space (either a big piece of poster board or a simple online page) that allows attendees to rate meetings and their organizers on a scale of 1 to 5 in terms of usefulness. Just a simple box where everyone can write a number. Watch what happens.
*If you’re not adding value to a meeting, leave. You can always read the summary later.
A few tips for older job hunters from older job seekers face special hurdles:
Dismiss age-discrimination thoughts: Think age-neutral. Focus on “connecting” with the interviewer. Get the interviewer to understand your enthusiasm, skills, interests and ability to contribute.
Emphasize capabilities, not experience: It generally serves to de-emphasize duration of experience. Focus instead on capabilities acquired during your life.
Buy a computer and a smart phone or PDA: Showing you are technology savvy is a good thing.
Acquire basic computer skills: Start with Microsoft Office applications and the ability to do Internet research.
Avoid age references: Don’t put graduation dates on your resume. Present only the most recent 15 to 20 years of employment and summarize prior work in a single paragraph without dates or durations.
Practice interviewing: Be ready for awkward questions such as, “How long do you plan to work?” and “Do you believe you are overqualified for this job?”
Seek out age-friendly employers: Look at Borders, H&R Block and Staples. Check out AARP’s Best Employers for Workers 50+ at www.aarp.org.
Networking tools: Use Web sites such as LinkedIn.com.
Note that many of these involve making sure you are somewhat current in technology.
I have to say that I don’t live in fear of getting a spaghetti pie at work as the author of this article does. I actually did not know what spaghetti pie was, and, now that I do, I will say that my Italian-American side finds it to be an abomination. And completely unnecessary.
That said, the rest of the article about The Obese Office is great and includes a manifesto for healthful office eating and tips for making healthful eating choices at work, including:
Take a Brain Break- Working without a break is unhealthy, as well. Your brain goes on autopilot. Once again, productivity drops. Meditate. If you have to (I did), go to the ladies’ room and close your eyes for five minutes. Do some deep breathing exercises.
Drink More Water - Drinking really helps. We often think we are hungry, when we are in fact thirsty. Try flavoring a 1.5 liter bottle of water with a little Crystal Light. (All that water provides an opportunity to go to the bathroom and meditate!)
Find a Buddy - Support and company is always a good thing. Find someone to join you and you can buck the system together.
A Food Gift - When someone gives you a box of chocolate or a spaghetti pie, and they know you are losing weight, refrain from hurting them. Simply smile and say as you push the spaghetti pie back in their direction, “Oh thanks so much, but you know, spaghetti pies aren’t a part of my food plan. I appreciate the thought and would really love some fresh fruit. Why not bring it tomorrow?”
There’s that spaghetti pie again.
Shifting gears with your small business is always difficult, and these are scary (startling, even, at least I’m startled) economic times. The New York Times profiles a guy, Christopher Hazlett, who has successfully shifted the direction of his business using these tips:
Be frugal. Mr. Hazlett never sought outside financing, and has no debt. In Integrate’s heyday, he thought about renting an office, but concluded there was no compelling reason to do so. He cut his salary last year, and even so, puts much of it into his personal savings account.
Switch to a new product or service if the one you are marketing is not selling. “I saw that we could only do one of two things: change or close our doors for good,” he said.
Be patient. “It takes time to get it right,” he says.
Look for opportunity in tough economic times. It was corporate cost-cutting that hurt him last year, he says, and so he is marketing Event Clipboard as a tool for the budget-conscious to save money.
Anyone considering shifting gears in his/her small business? I am, but I’m not sure what gear to shift to….
How to Avoid a Major Meltdown at Work summarizes some major meltdowns of others (oh, the schadenfreude), and give some tips for avoiding your own meltdown, and surviving those of others. All of that said, I enjoyed the stories of others’ meltdowns. Whenever there is the throwing of ballots in Florida, I pay attention.