I’ve watched the Los Angeles County Supervisors in action, but I did not realize that they had customized water bottles (to avoid advertising one brand). And, with that, you might suspect that removing the real labels and replacing them with the LA County Supervisor’s label was someone’s job:
Every week, a college student who earns $9.92 an hour for a range of tasks peels the labels off water bottles, uses a computer to print out new ones emblazoned with the county seal and slaps them on. The customized bottles are waiting for the five supervisors as they take on the official business of the nation’s most populous county.
Some suspect the real brand is Arrowhead. Some suspect that the college student will look back on this job and laugh.
I appear to have sprained my finger or something, so I will actually be doing as little typing as possible for this post. (”Well thank god,” they all said.) Today is another day of themeless weirdness, or perhaps I’m just too tired to think of one. It’s a Monday…
A Word of Advice
I have said this a million times, but it bears repeating: If you are going to burglarize a store, please measure your mode of entrance to make sure you will fit. Because I guarantee the firefighters who come to rescue you will laugh their asses off, and then cut off all you clothes even if it’s not strictly necessary.
Also, do not under any circumstances throw apple pie at a sherriff’s deputy.
Mutiny on the Bounty
I have many questions about the cruise ship passengers who mutinied due to a sub-par cruise but my main question is: A 93 day cruise? Seriously?
Another Reason to Avoid the Hospital
Apparently, the doctors there see nothing wrong with learning medical procedures from ER and Grey’s Anatomy.
Lord Help Me Not Raise One of These
Because I swear if my child were to be notorious for his internet video of him stuffing lettuce leaves up his nose then serving them to customers, I would have to lie down and die.
Okay, my finger says enough. Hope this at least boosts you a bit on your way through the week.
This is a topic that particularly interests me: What technology is on its way out? These are products that much of Generation Y doesn’t particularly find useful:
“Young people see email as good for sending a thank you letter to an aunt but not much else.”Websites
“The internet is increasingly about building community, not providing content - it offers a way for people to self-organise to create communities. That is why Facebook beat Match.com, why bloggers are beating CNN.com and why Wikipedia is beating Encyclopaedia Britannica.”Fixed line phones
“They will be replaced by mobile devices.”The personal computer
“They will be replaced by small always-connected devices with a high degree of mobility. The personal computer was always an oxymoron for me, it’s like the idea of personal sex. The purpose of computing is to communicate.”
For whatever reasons, some organizations are in the throes of a Meeting Problem, and it is life-threatening. Seth Godin has tips for managing your meeting problem:
*Understand that all problems are not the same. So why are your meetings? Does every issue deserve an hour? Why is there a default length?
*Schedule meetings in increments of five minutes. Require that the meeting organizer have a truly great reason to need more than four increments of realtime face time.
*Require preparation. Give people things to read or do before the meeting, and if they don’t, kick them out.
*Remove all the chairs from the conference room. I’m serious.
*If someone is more than two minutes later than the last person to the meeting, they have to pay a fine of $10 to the coffee fund.
*Bring an egg timer to the meeting. When it goes off, you’re done. Not your fault, it’s the timer’s.
*The organizer of the meeting is required to send a short email summary, with action items, to every attendee within ten minutes of the end of the meeting.
*Create a public space (either a big piece of poster board or a simple online page) that allows attendees to rate meetings and their organizers on a scale of 1 to 5 in terms of usefulness. Just a simple box where everyone can write a number. Watch what happens.
*If you’re not adding value to a meeting, leave. You can always read the summary later.
A few tips for older job hunters from older job seekers face special hurdles:
Dismiss age-discrimination thoughts: Think age-neutral. Focus on “connecting” with the interviewer. Get the interviewer to understand your enthusiasm, skills, interests and ability to contribute.
Emphasize capabilities, not experience: It generally serves to de-emphasize duration of experience. Focus instead on capabilities acquired during your life.
Buy a computer and a smart phone or PDA: Showing you are technology savvy is a good thing.
Acquire basic computer skills: Start with Microsoft Office applications and the ability to do Internet research.
Avoid age references: Don’t put graduation dates on your resume. Present only the most recent 15 to 20 years of employment and summarize prior work in a single paragraph without dates or durations.
Practice interviewing: Be ready for awkward questions such as, “How long do you plan to work?” and “Do you believe you are overqualified for this job?”
Seek out age-friendly employers: Look at Borders, H&R Block and Staples. Check out AARP’s Best Employers for Workers 50+ at www.aarp.org.
Networking tools: Use Web sites such as LinkedIn.com.
Note that many of these involve making sure you are somewhat current in technology.
So the other day I saw a news story about explaining your job to your kids, and the comedic misunderstandings that ensue. I was trying to figure out how to explain to my future children that Mommy looks at socks and underwear all day, and then tells people whether floral or plain white sell better. The nice thing about kids is they might actually find that pretty exciting stuff.
But in case you were thinking of changing your profession to one that the kids might find a little more interesting, here are some suggestions:
President of the United States: Okay, bear with me. Yes, you say “President” and the kid is already in awe. It’s pretty much the only job most kids have heard of before they turn five. But the coolest part? He (or she) gets to wear a bulletproof suit. My inner child thinks that’s the coolest damn thing ever.
Worm Fiddler: He’s kind of like the Worm Whisperer. Also known as “rooping,” the art of worm fiddling is handed down from generation to generation, and it’s all about luring worms to their doom through the use of some sort of magical worm symphony. I swear to god I am not making this up.
Nude Doctor: This one makes me sad because the headline led me to believe it was doctors who practice medicine in the nude. New Zealand, you have failed me.
Dental Divester: The economy has gotten so bad that people are selling their gold teeth at malls for cash. And somebody has to remove those teeth.
Soccer Pundit: You get to watch soccer (football) matches all day and then compare a tackle to rape on national TV! Ah, I remember when my brother-in-law went through his “likening losing a computer game to getting raped” phase. It was charming. And 7 years ago.
Charles Darwin: Because then you’d have lots and lots of nice shoes.
So what is the weirdest job you’ve ever had? And, how would you explain it to your kids (assuming it’s not your current job…)
Not only do those of us who are employed have a responsibility to those of us who have been laid-off, managers also have a responsibility to help those that they manage cope with unpredictable times in the workplace:
First, remember that leading means treating employees as responsible adults, and not as wayward children who can be bossed around or mollified with half-truths. Study after study has shown that organizations work better when the people within them are knowledgeable and empowered, and when they are asked to contribute and show initiative.
Along with treating employees like adults comes the need for managers to be straightforward about bad news. If employees hear vaguely through the grapevine that layoffs are ahead, for example, they are likely to spend their days in a cloud of worry about impending doom, just when it is crucial for them to be their most productive. In my own workplaces, this behavior has ended only when managers have offered up more information.
Stay out of the bunker has more tips for managers.
Many nannies have found that their job responsibilities have increased from only childcare to incorporating housework and personal assisting in their daily routines. This hasn’t made most nannies happy, but because they want to keep their jobs, they don’t dare complain to their employers:
Nannies air their frustrations at the Nanny and Me group at the parenting center of Temple Beth Am in Los Angeles. Gabrielle Kaufman facilitates the group, which started as a place where Spanish-speaking nannies could engage in educational play with their charges while learning about nutrition, safety and health. It’s also a place where nannies can swap stories, and Kaufman has noticed more anxiety creeping into their conversations.
“Even though they’re doing a lot more than they used to,” she says, “they feel they can’t complain. They feel lucky to have a job.”
Kaufman hears of nannies offering to take on more responsibilities in an effort to make themselves indispensable — or to squeeze another household employee out of a job.
The increase of duties for nannies is an example of a much larger phenomenon during this recession: the expansion of job duties (or the combination of jobs) for the same pay or just slightly more.
Oh, dear. This seems to demonstrate what I’ve feared all along: Want to Keep Your Job? Be Happy. But upon reading the article, I see that it isn’t “happiness” per se that we’re talking about, but likability over competence:
It’s a counterintuitive concept, for sure. In today’s economic maelstrom, the most common responses are panic, fear, anger, distrust, and even hostility. But a Harvard Business Review article “How to Protect Your Job in a Recession” studied the characteristics of recession survivors and found that those who avoided being cut were cheerful, likable, generous contributors, and not necessarily the most skilled and proficient.
So this is not news. We already know that likable people are more often hired, given tenure, and chosen as business partners in the workplace. Likable people are those that are empathic to others, not totally happy at risk of being delusional.
How can you help a friend or family member who has been laid-off?
Here are a few ideas for helping friends who are out of work, which include helping with networking, childcare (if needed), and providing food. The ideas are good, but it’s also interesting to see helping others framed as a moral obligation for the employed.
Make a Dangerous Job Safer is an editorial in the Boston Globe that proposes mandatory safety inspections of fishing boats to save the lives of fisherman (the article states that commercial fishing is the country’s most dangerous job).
It doesn’t seem like a bad idea on the surface (and perhaps deeper than that), but the comments reveal this is a much more complicated issue.
As a reading audience who appreciates workplace memos, I thought you might appreciate the AIG: Enhanced Security Memo.
I really shouldn’t find it funny. Those are real people, and they’re scared. Must. Not. Laugh. Channel Empathy.
For some of us, the connection between what we do for a living and who we are is a very tight one. We are what we do for a living. So when we lose our jobs, we lose a sense of who we are. Recession is the emotional roll of a lifetime for actor details how the recession has affected the identity of a journeyman actor:
“The downturn makes me think about things,” he said.
Such as?
“That I’m single, and that really sucks.”
He fell silent again, staring down at his plate.
“I’d rather be working than thinking about being alone.”
Maybe that loneliness is one reason he loved work so much, he admitted, and why he considers himself really bad at being unemployed.
Working an event or doing a voice-over, playing a hot dog vendor or doing a guest appearance on “Monk” or “Medium,” was a full-time diversion, a gratifying act of denial about the nature of what Singer truly wanted.
But if a steady mate is what he’s wanted all along, why doesn’t he have one?
Ahhhhhh, said his therapist when I asked that question of her, that’s the $64,000 question.
(Why, you ask, is he still paying a therapist if he’s so broke? The answer in a minute.)
“A lot of people I see have not connected, which is what therapy is all about,” she said, speaking with Singer’s permission.
The therapist told me she’s seeing a lot of terrified, out-of-work people, and for some — as for Singer — the condition has brought them face-to-face with deeper questions about themselves.
It’s like a double-whammy; unemployment followed by identity crisis.
A friend and I were talking last week about how when you have a desk job the expectation is often that you are always at your desk all day. You know, it’s as if this is the only place you can get things done.
Natural Element: Away from My Desk elaborates on some of the best places to get things done away from your desk. Of course, the jobs they profile are mostly white collar creative type, but it’s worth thinking about where you are best able to get work done.
Why did I not write this column yesterday:
A) I wanted to wait and see if there’s was any fun St Patrick’s Day workplace news.
B) I was celebrating it a day early.
C) I got all involved in cooking and exercising and forgot it was Monday.
or
D) My cat said he would write it but he didn’t.
Only one of these things is true, but all of them are perfectly plausible.
Today, in the spirit of drunken abandon, I have a themeless mishmash of news, best read over a pint of Guinness.
You know the recession is bad when it even hits Sesame Street. I actually find this really depressing, but the fine folks at Fark lifted my spirits by photoshopping new occupations for laid off Sesame Street characters–like Bert and Ernie campaigning for gay rights. (Some are not work-safe…)
Two teens who look like Muppets were arrested for releasing pepper spray in a Germantown, PA Walmart (man, I wish newspapers would stop adding that hyphen). I know I shouldn’t laugh but these guys look exactly like you would expect.
What do you NOT want to do to the brand spanking new carpet at work? Do $84,000 worth of damage by spilling tea on it. And you really, really don’t want to do that if your employer is the Queen of England.
Okay so here’s another slightly not work-safe article. What I truly love about this advertising campaign is that it’s coming from the industry that has gotten in trouble for kicking women off their planes for not being clothed enough for their tastes.
Ms T and I were both struck by this article about a woman who drugged her boss’s coffee so he’d “chill.” Sigh. If only.
If you do go out drinking tonight, be sure to check that the lights in your bar are not tanning lights.
And, finally, “Chaos at Land O’Lakes Chili’s” is one of my favorite headlines of the week. It involves a grown man writhing on the floor and throwing crayons. Good times, there.
Okay folks, I’m off to exercise and not drink. Because that’s what happens when you get out of college. But if you are inclined to celebrate St. Paddy’s Day, please have a beer for me.
I’ve been reading a lot about the trend of Recession Gardens (here, here, and here for starters), and all I have to say is y’all must be much better gardeners than I am. Seriously.
I’ve been gardening for the past decade, and even took a class to improve my skills (mulch more, amend more, water less, rotate in a specific way, and stagger how I plant seeds in terms of weeks), and I’m a long way from providing for my family. Yes, we have supplemental food from our gardens, but not enough to replace buying vegetables and fruit on a weekly basis.
Last year, we had roughly 50 pounds of basil. I’m not sure I can ever eat pesto again. And then there was the year of 50 purple cabbages. At the moment, there are roughly 50 bunches of red chard, and as much as I like my chard, there’s no way to eat all of it. Yes, I can do all sorts of things to it, but I didn’t even plant it this year. This is from letting some of it go to seed in previous years.
None of this is to suggest that I’m not grateful for the food we grew and thrilled to pick something that came out of my back yard, but it seems much harder than anyone says to actually feed your own family from the ground. Not impossible, mind you, clearly some people do it.
Any gardening success stories?
We send a lot of mixed messages to teachers in California: Students are important, but we’re going to treat the people who teach them well. We value the whole student, but we’re going to value teaching based entirely on tests. Don’t teach to the tests, but your entire performance depends on them.
Perhaps one of the most insidious is the “teacher shortage” message that gets trotted out year after year, especially in math and science. There may be a teacher shortage, but we lay off teachers in California every year. Here’s the latest from Ed Week:
In a spring rite that has become as predictable as the cherry blossoms in the nation’s capital, public school employees throughout California have been warned of wrenching classroom cuts as districts face a deadline for issuing layoff notices.
Most years many of those notices would be rescinded, but this year the ritual is more fraught with uncertainty because of the economy.
The state Department of Education estimates that preliminary pink slips will have been handed to 26,500 teachers by the Sunday cutoff — two-and-a-half times as many as were issued last year.
So you’ve been laid-off (and perhaps from a very unlikely place—is nowhere sacred?). Being laid-off is not a moral judgment; it’s just a fact of being in the modern workplace. Here’s my advice (and none of it is new for me or for others):
*Don’t poke around Monster, Careerbuilder, and Craig’s Various Lists for hours on end. Go. Look. Send some resumes. Move on. It shouldn’t take more than 1-2 hours a day. Those sites are a death trap of sorts and will suck out your soul and deposit it in a multi-level marketing scheme.
*Volunteer instead for 10-20 hours a week. Get out of your house. It’s good for you.
*Sign yourself up for whatever sorts of public benefits you need and qualify for. Unemployment. Welfare. Healthcare for kids. Whatever it is that you need, look into it. This is much more difficult than it should be, but invest the time, if you need the benefits. Do not wait until you have run out of money.
*Network with every circle of people you know because this is how most people find jobs. They aren’t advertised. They’re found by word-of-mouth. Let people know you’re looking, and what you’re looking for specifically.
*Start something. Like a business. Like a non-profit. Identify a need and fit it. Make yourself useful.
Here’s the quiz from The Start-Up Diaries:
1. Which is standard usage?
a. I’m on the Internet!
b. I’m on the internet.2. What’s wrong with: “I would like to apologize. “
3. Which is standard usage?
PC’s are useless as farming equipment.
PCs can be used as rudimentary hoes.4. Which is standard usage?
a. He said, “Bite me.”
b. He said, “Bite me”.5. Which is standard usage?
a. I want a hot dog because I feel like angering the gods.
b. I want a hot dog, because I feel like angering the gods.6. What’s wrong with: “The project will be managed by the project manager.”
7. Which is standard usage?
a. Done. And now? (one space after the period)
b. Done. And now? (two spaces)
c. Done. And now? (three spaces)8. What’s lacking in the sentence: “There will be a reduction in force in the accounting department.”
9. What’s wrong with: “And, I told you so.”
10. Which is standard usage?
a. I want the hot dog which is deep-fried.
b. I want the hot dog that is deep-fried.
Answers here. And you can post your score. I’m 10 for 10.
An interesting graph here on the increasing rates of age bias cited by U.S. workers (up literally 29% from the previous year!). Let’s speculate on why this is the case:
There are an increasing number of aging employees in the workplace, which may partly account for the trend. Some 40% of people 55 and older were in the work force in January, compared to 36% in January of 2004, and 32% in that month in 2000, according to the Department of Labor. Laid-off older workers may be taking more legal action to recover their jobs or lost wages because it’s harder for them than younger workers to find new employment, some researchers say. Also, lawyers say recent legal developments make it easier for employees to allege age bias.
It’s also possible that companies may be targeting older workers in some layoffs “because the senior staffers are generally the highest paid and have the most lucrative benefits,” says David Grinberg, spokesman for the EEOC.
And, if you’d like to feel old, keep in mind that age bias is for folks older than 40. It’s closer than you think.
People seem very stressed at work. I’m sure it’s the economy and the threat of lay-offs. The evening news doesn’t help much either in its reporting (the tone is enough to make me duck and cover). Here are some tips for dealing with stress in the workplace.
- Stop, look, and listen. This is the advice fire fighters give kids in elementary school if they ever smelled smoke or saw fire. There’s plenty of smoke and fire right now, and it requires you to pay attention, look for signals, and decide a course of action — not to panic or bolt for the exit.
- Ask the people around you how they are feeling. It sounds simple, but we all have a personal story that could be deeply affecting us right now. Make it safe for people to trust you, even if it’s out of your power to actually fix their problems. You can help by demonstrating your care and concern.
- Decide on three or four absolute must-do’s for yourself at work. Focus on them almost exclusively. (If everything is urgent, nothing can get done!) Once you’ve made your list, look to see if it is balanced in terms of what you need to do to ensure the longevity and survival of your organization, how you can help the people around you, and how you can tap into your own sense of what’s possible and how you can get there.
- Attend to yourself — and the people you love. Take time to connect, support and care for the people in your life. Now is when aspects of our true character will be tested. Who are you? Who do you want to be?
More here. Feel free to add your own tips in comments. I always think that taking a quick walk outside helps.