Good afternoon readers! I love short weeks after a holiday. Almost as much as I love the holiday. But today’s column came upon me almost too fast.
Nonetheless, today I have a vast and hopefully interesting selection of weird news for your viewing pleasure.
Unsmooth Criminals: Some notes for would be criminals–
1. If you are going to steal from your employer, do not subsequently use them as a reference.
2. If you are going to rob a gas station wearing a thong on your head as a mask, your picture will be put on the internet and you will look like an idiot. Also, we can see your face.
3. Just because people are stealing your liquor does not mean you are allowed to steal their shoes in return. Though, I really like your thinking.
All Our Stupid Laws Today Have to Do With Hair: Houston’s ban on beards for uniformed police officers has quite a few people riled up. Meanwhile, a barber in Louisiana got ticketed for cutting hair on a Monday. I feel like there is some sort of… je ne sais quois connectivity going on here.
Employees Do the Darndest Things: A GA Tech employee who used her state-issued card to buy a computer used it to store explicit photos of herself and to schedule sexual encounters at the office (ew!) A firefighter decided to stop for a burger on his way to rescue a woman in respiratory distress. And a Florida teacher made national news when he bodyslammed a student on camera. Sex, violence, and burgers. Sounds like a great movie.
Speaking of Sex: A fired Austin police officer (what is WITH Texas this week?) faces charges of hiring prostitutes among other things. My favorite is the part where he paid off one of them with his wife’s clothes. Meanwhile Max Mosely resigned as Formula One Chief after being embroiled in a scandal involving Nazi Orgies. I don’t even want to know.
In This Column, There are Always Naked People: In an unforeseen consequence of the failing economy, strip clubs are losing money like a stripper loses pasties. And, a pilot and a flight attendant walk into the woods to have sex, and wind up lost and naked–the pilot accosting a woman for her shorts and the attendant breaking into a police car to look for a flashlight.
…And Also There are Kitties: Two kitty mascots caught my eye this week. One, Rambo, rides along in his person’s taxi cab. And Tama the Stationmaster Cat is bringing in great business at her job in Japan. But to be purrfectly (sorry, sorry!) honest this category is really just an excuse to talk about my new favorite mascot, Petey P Cup. Yes, he really is a pee cup. He likes Grey’s Anatomy and Coldplay.
Not Weird But Beautiful and Sad: Some of the most arresting photos I have seen of the aftermath of the China quake were taken by a wedding photographer on the job when the quake hit. I just had to share.
That’s it folks. Enjoy your weekend and remember, you can reach all of us at survivingtheworkday at gmail dot com.
May 30th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
Why do I enjoy animals at work so much?
May 31st, 2008 at 7:13 am
“All Our Stupid Laws Today Have to Do With Hair”…there is definitely a connection between these two stories! Both laws in question discriminate against people of color; the substance of the no-beard law presents an unfair hurdle to African Americans (as well as people whose religion forbids shaving of facial hair), and the application of the no-barbering-on-Monday law is now and has been in the past used to penalize African American businesses.
May 31st, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Ah, Shelby, that was both a lot less excitingly weird and a lot more interesting an explanation than I was thinking.