Today we have the Early Edition of WWN, because my boss loves us and let us leave early–I guess he had a party to go to. Speaking of party, we’re going with a musical theme today.

Money for Nothing: A Florida Clerk of Court gets paid more than $130,000 per year and rarely shows up to work. In fact, he is only required to work eight days a year. Meanwhile, the Maine state nuclear safety inspectorposition pays $71,000 per year–but the plant was officially decommissioned years ago. It’s like Office Space! Only without the stapler.

Anarchy in the UK: Wow, those Brits. They really know how to do the mob rule thing. First, there was the police officer caught in a rioting mob of Rangers fans, and whose life was saved by a former soldier with balls of steel. On the other side of the spectrum, but no less scary, we’ve got the milkman who was terrorized and finally put out of business by a mob of kids who would steal all the milk. You have to admire their dedication in getting up at 5am, though.

I’m Too Sexy: Yeah, yeah, sex sells, blah blah blah. Doesn’t mean I want my espresso served by a near naked college student. Nor do I want my news read by a naked woman, even if she is a high-priced call-girl. Obviously, there are many out there who beg to differ.

Come to My Window (and Crash Into Me): There was a bit of a rash of animals crashing through windows this week. A turkey left “a turkey shaped hole” in a courthouse window, and a buck crashed through the glass door of a hair salon. “So what happened at work today, dear?” “Oh nothing really… hey did you know turkeys really CAN fly?”

Someone to Watch Over Me: We’ve talked before about working animals in this blog. Now, I’ve seen everything though: Sentinel chickens (wouldn’t that be a great name for a band?), a line of defense against West Nile Virus. Also, because I needed another story to round out the category and because I love cats, here is a tale of Butterscotch the cat, who leaves home every day to take up his post at the Hawthorne Suites in Vermont, and is picked up by his owners every evening. Awwww…

Oops!… I Did It Again:  For the first time ever, I have a followup article! That didn’t take long. Remember a couple of weeks ago when I linked to the story about the substitute teacher being fired for wizardry? Here’s a followup story with more of the school’s point of view. Behold, the power of the Internet: it means more people will be able to hunt you down and call you an incompetent turd.

Also, I didn’t link to this story when it first came out, but Ms T. did. Tim Horton’s got into a PR disaster for firing a woman who “stole” a timbit to give to a crying baby. Now, Tim Horton’s is in trouble again because another employee a random customer! bought a homeless woman lunch and got chastised for it by an employee. Some people never learn.

Well folks, that’s all for now. Enjoy your weekend (whether it be long or short) and remember, if you want to report some weird workplace news, email us at survivingtheworkday at gmail dot com.