Would your friends be willing to host a different sort of event for you? On my blog under the “honoring birth” label is one alternative that worked out very well for a friend.

as far as gifts you don’t want, I have developed a few habits.

1)accept generosity for what it is. Unless I am seriously concerned about the safety of a toy or baby item, I simply accept it and say thank you.

2)with closer friends and relatives I am vocal about my desire for less stuff, and better stuff. I ask that friends chip in on more expensive items that I will need such as car seats.

3) i have finally learned the art of smiling, accepting a gift with graciousness and then returning it to the store as soon as possible.

with my first son, i was very self righteous about what was acceptable and what was not. with my second, i was more gracious and it helped a lot.