Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of giving up. Our culture is so focused on sticking with it to the bitter end, that it can be a source of public shame and shunning to admit that you don’t want to finish what you started.

But giving up can be a relief, a time saver, even a healthy life choice.

Some minor examples:

• I was reading a book that I was told I would love. About forty pages in, I started getting a knot in my stomach every time I looked ahead and realized just how many hundreds of pages were left. So, I closed the book, stuck it on my library return pile, and moved on to another book that I ended up enjoying greatly. Net time saved: probably about a week. Net soul saved: infinite.
• After the hundredth time I interrupted my reading to watch yet another stupid Super Bowl commercial, I finally admitted I didn’t give a flying fig, and when my husband went next door to watch the game with more testosteroney types, I turned it off and enjoyed the silence.

And, some major examples:

• As I have written before, my department is undergoing an organizational change. This has been a source of much angst. The message being given out by management is, they expect us to “give it a chance.” But as one of my cube mates asked,”If I decide I really want to learn something different, and find a better job for myself within the company, how is that giving up?” If you know yourself well enough, you should know what is best for you.
• Two years ago, my husband and I in essence “gave up” on California. It simply wasn’t what we wanted in our lives. We moved to the east coast and have never been happier. Now, my left-behind father of course isn’t happy. He only sees it in terms of the good things we gave up–friends, him and my mother, great weather. We see that list as more like–crappy jobs, him, and a housing market we were priced out of long ago. So, what you are giving up is all a matter of perspective.
• I think we can all agree that giving up on a bad relationship is often the best thing you can do. I can’t even count the number of times someone has spent an hour or more complaining about a relationship that to me sounds dysfunctional at best and at worst, downright abusive. And what do they say? “I’ve put in too much time and effort to give up now.” Exactly. You have put in too much time and effort. Do you really want to keep wasting all that time and effort?

So the next time you find yourself with that twingy feeling in the pit of your stomach, like whatever you are doing is a Bad Idea… just give up. It might be the best thing you ever did. And it’s okay.