I’ve read enough crazy boss articles to understand the basic article structure: we tell a story about the crazy boss, we quote an expert who has divided crazy bosses into categories, we investigate the categories, we tell a success story with a crazy boss, and we mention that leaving the job is always an option.

Understanding the Crazy Boss uses this model with an expert called Hornstein and the categories of  Conquerers, Performers, and Manipulators:

Conquerors prey on employees who show signs of weakness. Once these bosses uncover a person’s Achilles’ heel, they attack with a vengeance and zoom in on the weakness to create embarrassment and humiliation.

Performers have a penchant for belittling workers, but unlike Conquerors, they undermine employees to mask their own incompetence. Hornstein says attempts to reason with Conquerors will backfire and draw more wrath, as these bosses are known to have uncontrollable temper tantrums. The best defense is to stay out of their way, he adds.

The Manipulators are the smoothest of the tyrannical bosses. These types of bosses are afraid they’ll become less valued if subordinates step into the limelight or receive recognition. They’ll go to any end to retain power—such as stealing someone’s ideas and taking credit. Yet they’ll always appear to be the subordinate’s ally.

The article makes a couple of other good points: crazy bosses have often been rewarded for their craziness, and, consequently, are not going to change. With narcissistic bosses, that narcissism is often what propels them to the top of the corporate structure. You can develop short-term coping strategies for people in any of these categories (or other categories), but often the best idea is simply to prepare your resume and depart from the company.

Now the Voice in my Head chimes, “But if we can help them? minister to them? What if we recognize the divine spark in that crazy boss (and isn’t it really crazy behavior, not a crazy boss?) and want to treat the boss with love and dignity? Yes, even though the boss makes our lives miserable that’s our own choosing, isn’t it? Well, Voice in my Head, take a deep breathe, and back away. It is quite possible to recognize the divine spark within, and still walk away. Not everyone is asking for help.

In any case, it’s snowing, so I’m going to go outside.