Comments on: Surviving a Miscarriage http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/ Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:30:50 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.2 By: casey http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-9059 casey Wed, 30 Dec 2009 16:47:04 +0000 http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-9059 Thanks for this. I recently miscarried at 7 weeks (my first pregnancy). In addition to all of the emotions you described, I also felt that it was a major wake up call. I am 30, and have been married for three and a half years. We tried to conceive for 7 months before finding out I was pregnant in November. I had been waiting, carefully orchestrating when I would have my first baby. I wanted to be in a certain job, house, etc. I wanted everything to be 'just so'. In some ways, this is a good thing -having a child is serious and should be well thought out. But how foolish I was to think I had any control over any of this! Thanks for this. I recently miscarried at 7 weeks (my first pregnancy). In addition to all of the emotions you described, I also felt that it was a major wake up call. I am 30, and have been married for three and a half years. We tried to conceive for 7 months before finding out I was pregnant in November.

I had been waiting, carefully orchestrating when I would have my first baby. I wanted to be in a certain job, house, etc. I wanted everything to be ‘just so’. In some ways, this is a good thing -having a child is serious and should be well thought out. But how foolish I was to think I had any control over any of this!

]]> By: Krista http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-8095 Krista Mon, 30 Mar 2009 17:31:23 +0000 http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-8095 Thanks for the post. My therapist tells me this is the lonliest trauma, which I totally believe. After going through fertility treatments for 3 1/2 years my husband and I are childless. I had 4 miscarriages, one where we saw a heartbeat but lost it by the next ultrasound. We had 11, supposedly great frozen embryos, all of which didn't successfully survive the thaw. We worked really hard to to move past the pain and were feeling much better. Then a year later I got pregnant naturally. Everything was better; my hormone levels, we saw the heartbeat and it was normal; the growth rate; until the third ultrasound. The heartrate was slowing and it hadn't grown enough in the previous week. I was ten weeks. We had to do another ultrasound to confirm the loss. I'm forty-four. I thought this was going to be our miracle. Now I'm just angry. I am sick of celebrating everyone else's happiness, and trying to act "normal". I seem to be surrounded by the most fertile women at work. People are so insensitive. I know that at some point I will feel better, because I did before. But this seems like a cruel joke. Now I need to be careful that I don't get pregnant, even though we desperately want a child. I can't go through this again. Thanks for the post. My therapist tells me this is the lonliest trauma, which I totally believe. After going through fertility treatments for 3 1/2 years my husband and I are childless. I had 4 miscarriages, one where we saw a heartbeat but lost it by the next ultrasound. We had 11, supposedly great frozen embryos, all of which didn’t successfully survive the thaw. We worked really hard to to move past the pain and were feeling much better. Then a year later I got pregnant naturally. Everything was better; my hormone levels, we saw the heartbeat and it was normal; the growth rate; until the third ultrasound. The heartrate was slowing and it hadn’t grown enough in the previous week. I was ten weeks. We had to do another ultrasound to confirm the loss. I’m forty-four. I thought this was going to be our miracle. Now I’m just angry. I am sick of celebrating everyone else’s happiness, and trying to act “normal”. I seem to be surrounded by the most fertile women at work. People are so insensitive. I know that at some point I will feel better, because I did before. But this seems like a cruel joke. Now I need to be careful that I don’t get pregnant, even though we desperately want a child. I can’t go through this again.

]]> By: Kate http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-7906 Kate Thu, 26 Feb 2009 01:53:13 +0000 http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-7906 Thank you for this post. I just learned yesterday that my baby died in the womb. I am ten weeks pregnant right now, and just 9 months ago we lost our 1st baby to anencephaly (a neural tube defect). The pain of this second loss is just unbearable. Somehow it helps to know I'm not alone. Thank you for this post. I just learned yesterday that my baby died in the womb. I am ten weeks pregnant right now, and just 9 months ago we lost our 1st baby to anencephaly (a neural tube defect). The pain of this second loss is just unbearable. Somehow it helps to know I’m not alone.

]]> By: Leslie http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-7478 Leslie Sat, 06 Dec 2008 08:16:46 +0000 http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-7478 I just found out at my doctor's appointment yesterday that my baby stopped growing and I will have a miscarriage at 28 years of age with my first pregnancy. You have summarized everything I am feeling to a tee. I can't believe how unfair and painful this experience is and I don't know how I am going to survive. I just want to close my eyes and wake up months from now. Th worst part is that the people closest to me including my husband are the ones I want to push away because I want to stop feeling. I want to stop hurting. I wish for others to not have to go through what I have to yet I know there will always be women dealing with this pain. I have to say, you can read all the books in the world and still not understand this hurt until you go through it yourself and I wish I did not understand this hurt. I just found out at my doctor’s appointment yesterday that my baby stopped growing and I will have a miscarriage at 28 years of age with my first pregnancy. You have summarized everything I am feeling to a tee. I can’t believe how unfair and painful this experience is and I don’t know how I am going to survive. I just want to close my eyes and wake up months from now. Th worst part is that the people closest to me including my husband are the ones I want to push away because I want to stop feeling. I want to stop hurting. I wish for others to not have to go through what I have to yet I know there will always be women dealing with this pain. I have to say, you can read all the books in the world and still not understand this hurt until you go through it yourself and I wish I did not understand this hurt.

]]> By: Samantha http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-5863 Samantha Wed, 08 Oct 2008 02:55:15 +0000 http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-5863 I'm sorry. That is all I want to hear from people. But instead, I am bombarded by 'oh you'll have another', 'just keep trying', 'at least you weren't further along', 'it wasn't meant to be'. But I just want you to say sorry and ask me how I am. A d&c is painful and the emotions it reveals are worse. I think they give you painkillers for the emotional pain more than the physical. I'm sorry for your loss. I’m sorry. That is all I want to hear from people. But instead, I am bombarded by ‘oh you’ll have another’, ‘just keep trying’, ‘at least you weren’t further along’, ‘it wasn’t meant to be’. But I just want you to say sorry and ask me how I am. A d&c is painful and the emotions it reveals are worse. I think they give you painkillers for the emotional pain more than the physical. I’m sorry for your loss.

]]> By: Christine http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-5828 Christine Tue, 30 Sep 2008 10:02:16 +0000 http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-5828 Ms. T, thank you for sharing...I am commenting from Kenya here in Africa. On September 2nd, at 6 weeks, it started with a bleeding and after the ultrasound despite going in with high hopes, the doctor across the table delivered the bad news..the baby was dead. It didn't sink in until an hour later. The pain was unbearable and the amount of crying was definitely not going to bring my baby back. The next day I had the D&C and that afternoon I was back at work, doing my best to move on...and I have..I am looking forward to being pregnant again.... I pray for Gods grace to carry it term and if not I pray for his grace to handle it...Because in the toughest of days God has always seen me through. I am not scared of trying again and again...............I will pray for you as I pray for my own that God will grant us the blessing to carry our own in our arms some day. Ms. T, thank you for sharing…I am commenting from Kenya here in Africa. On September 2nd, at 6 weeks, it started with a bleeding and after the ultrasound despite going in with high hopes, the doctor across the table delivered the bad news..the baby was dead. It didn’t sink in until an hour later. The pain was unbearable and the amount of crying was definitely not going to bring my baby back. The next day I had the D&C and that afternoon I was back at work, doing my best to move on…and I have..I am looking forward to being pregnant again…. I pray for Gods grace to carry it term and if not I pray for his grace to handle it…Because in the toughest of days God has always seen me through.
I am not scared of trying again and again……………I will pray for you as I pray for my own that God will grant us the blessing to carry our own in our arms some day.

]]> By: bells http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-4727 bells Tue, 16 Sep 2008 22:22:32 +0000 http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-4727 I am about to undergo my second miscarriage (of an IVF baby) after finding no heartbeat yesterday. This was helpful for me. Thank you. I am about to undergo my second miscarriage (of an IVF baby) after finding no heartbeat yesterday. This was helpful for me. Thank you.

]]> By: Sharon http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-2349 Sharon Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:35:38 +0000 http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-2349 I suffered a miscarriage in September 2007, I was 4 months pregnant on the day that I miscarried. My baby was such a beautiful little angel and although the daily crying has stopped, I still can't bring myself to go to friends' babies birthdays or baby showers. I have my good days and bad days and I still do get days where the pain feels as if it has only just happened. My baby wasn't planned and I wasn't sure how to feel in my first month of pregnancy, but started to bond with my baby - I'd talk to him, tell him what was going on in the outside world and just wanted him to know how much I loved him. I've been considering going for counselling to help me heal, if that's possible at all. It feels as if no one understands the pain I feel, I constantly get comments like, "life goes on" or "at least he wasn't born yet". It's the most painful thing I've ever been through and would never wish it on my worst enemy.. I suffered a miscarriage in September 2007, I was 4 months pregnant on the day that I miscarried. My baby was such a beautiful little angel and although the daily crying has stopped, I still can’t bring myself to go to friends’ babies birthdays or baby showers. I have my good days and bad days and I still do get days where the pain feels as if it has only just happened. My baby wasn’t planned and I wasn’t sure how to feel in my first month of pregnancy, but started to bond with my baby - I’d talk to him, tell him what was going on in the outside world and just wanted him to know how much I loved him. I’ve been considering going for counselling to help me heal, if that’s possible at all. It feels as if no one understands the pain I feel, I constantly get comments like, “life goes on” or “at least he wasn’t born yet”. It’s the most painful thing I’ve ever been through and would never wish it on my worst enemy..

]]> By: Jess http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-1632 Jess Thu, 31 Jan 2008 23:39:12 +0000 http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-1632 Thank you for writing this... my husband and I have endured 2 miscarriages. No children yet, and somedays the jealousy and unbelievable sadness over what never can be is there. I miss our children, though I've never met them. It can't be explained. But it hurts deeply. Thank you for writing this… my husband and I have endured 2 miscarriages. No children yet, and somedays the jealousy and unbelievable sadness over what never can be is there. I miss our children, though I’ve never met them. It can’t be explained. But it hurts deeply.

]]> By: Katrina Denza http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-1375 Katrina Denza Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:41:34 +0000 http://survivingtheworkday.com/2008/01/10/surviving-a-miscarriage/#comment-1375 I'm so sorry, my friend. Thank you for your post. I’m so sorry, my friend. Thank you for your post.

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