22nd Dec 2007
Ms. Theologian Continues Commenting on Gifting
Dear Ms. Theologian,
Is it okay to give Christmas gift to a Jewish person?
-Wondering
Dear Wondering,
Ms. Theologian is going to take the liberty of reframing your question:
Is it okay to give a Christmas gift to someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas?
Now, this is an interesting question, because, of course, it raises issues of giving: How is giving at Christmas a Christian act? Who does the gift benefit? the giver? the receiver? Is it the giving that is truly the important part, that is, the Christian part while receiving can be done by all?
Here is a simple rule: You can give a Christmas gift to someone who celebrates Christmas.
If that person is Jewish (or Muslim or Buddhist or Baha’i) and celebrates Christmas in a cultural context, then you can give a gift. But if that person is Jewish (or Muslim or Buddhist or Baha’i) and doesn’t celebrate Christmas in any sense, then Ms. Theologian suggests skipping the gift.
You can, of course, always give a gift at a different time of year. A January gift. A Valentine’s gift. Groundhog Day. Whatever. Gifts can be received year round, but when it is labeled as a Christmas gift and given to someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas, it comes off as theologically presumptuous.
-Ms. Theologian
P.S. If you’d like to write to Ms. Theologian, include a gift.
Heh. My non-practicing Jewish girlfriend is getting a Christmas present. I discussed matters with her beforehand, though.
I have a number of Jewish friends who celebrate Christmas in the gift-giving sense too, but it seems like you need to know that the givee is willing to receive, as you do, before you give.
As a manager, I give end of year thank you gifts to my Jewish guy… (and everyone else.) On the other hand, my Jewish guy doesn’t really care either way.
My Jewish bro-in-law celebrates Xmas with us more enthusiastically than anyone else in the family.
But again, I think gift giving has to do with whether someone celebrates the holiday in some way (by receiving gifts in this case, or perhaps giving something or perhaps with a lit tree). If someone has made it clear that she does not celebrate Christmas in any sense, I think giving her a gift is just a bad idea. Theologically improper, if you will.
I think your advice is a good rule of thumb. Also, if a person who doesn’t celebrate Xmas receives gifts for Xmas it can make them feel badly for not giving gifts for Xmas in return.