There’s a phenomenon I have noticed since becoming a people manager five years ago that I am at a loss to explain. It happens in people below management level when they have to go to a meeting. I like to call it “Meeting Anxiety Disorder.”
It begins when I send out a meeting request and they accept. Within fifteen minutes, they will generally be at my desk confirming the meeting. “So we have a meeting, huh?”
One day before the meeting, they will be at my desk asking if they need to do anything for the meeting. Also they will ask me to check my own calender to confirm the day and time. They will ask me which conference room it is in, then seemingly contemplate their route as well as alternates, just in case.
On the morning of the meeting day, they will go through this same process all over again.
About an hour before the meeting, they will come by my desk again to let me know they are (going to the bathroom/cafeteria/working on a report/ready for the meeting.)
About ten minutes prior to the meeting, they will come to my desk and hang out until I am ready to head to the conference room with them.
This has happened in two separate companies with at least ten different people. It seems to be a universal trait with people who generally aren’t in meetings all day. It doesn’t matter if the meeting is about them, about a project they will be or are currently working on, or for planning a BBQ. Something about the fact that there is a meeting makes them nervous, afraid to miss it and unwilling to go in alone.
So I throw it out to you, dear reader: Have you ever felt or encountered this? Am I somehow generating undue meeting anxiety in the people I manage? What is it about meetings that is so stressful and how can it be alleviated? Is it simply because they are unused to meetings or is there something else going on?
-GhostGirl
October 24th, 2007 at 8:42 am
If it is a one-on-one meeting, I’m usually at least partially convinced that I’m in trouble.
October 24th, 2007 at 11:05 am
I think that there is often a fundamental sense of alienation from self and others in the modern workplace and meetings provide an opportunity to connect with others, which is both needed and scary. That’s my professional opinion.
October 24th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
I forgot to mention, if it’s a one-on-one meeting, there is the additional question: “Are we still meeting?”
I don’t think I’m particularly scary. Most of the time these meetings are routine. My theory is that they go to so few meetings, and meetings are often considred “management stuff,” that when there is a meeting they must attend, it’s a really big deal.
I personally hate meetings, and always have, so I try to think of them as little as possible.
October 24th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
Naw, I don’t mean you’re scary! But I think there’s a lot going on at a subconscious level with meetings and alienation and connecting to others. I think that’s why the behavior seems a little nutsy on the surface.
October 30th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
I’ve been meeting to reply but haven’t had the time. My company has a very strong culture around meetings that really reduces this sort of problem. I can give you more detail if you want, but basically, it breaks down like this:
1. State the purpose of the meeting in the invite. Usually meetings break down to three types: decision, informational, and status/collaborative. Decision meetings imply a decision will be made either by an individual or group. Informational means someone is educating others. Status meetings are regular meetings that enable teams to collaborate.
2. Let people know their roles before the meeting. List them in the invite. Tell them why they are there and what is expected of them. One person should be leading the meeting. Doing this ensures you have who you need in the meeting and no more.
3. Set an agenda, with times. As an example, for a 30 minute informational meeting it might be:
Intro: 5 minutes
Presentation: 15 minutes
Questions: 10 minutes
Ask an attendee to monitor the time and give a warning when it’s time to move on.
For your 1:1 meetings with employees, our course of action is that the employee owns regular 1:1 meetings with their manager. This could be any frequency from weekly to monthly, but the employee sets the length (30 or 60 minutes) and agenda. There’s less fear when they’re in charge.
The unfortunate thing at my company is that the discipline has declined over my time of employment. This has resulted in some of the complaints you mention.
October 31st, 2007 at 10:39 am
Thanks, Dennis. I was just writing a post to bring up these meeting issues again.
November 30th, 2008 at 5:28 am
lovely blog I enjoy reading it lately.
I`ve also suffered from anxiety attacks for more than four years. It was horrible. I finally managed to overcome it. What you need is to first accept it even before starting to treat it. Accepting and facing it is one of the most important key factors to your healing.
Exercies and body relaxation methods will help. However medication is not the cure. It`s a short time relief and nothing more.
A healthy diet is an important key factor aswell.
October 13th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
I have meeting anxiety. Not sure if it is an official neurosis or not but I also have mild claustrophobia. I don’t like being in planes or anywhere where I feel socially or physically restrained from leaving or too close to other people.
I was prescribed Xanax for it by my doctor but it doesn’t really help. I get out of jury duty because of it.
I also feel anxious in crowded bars, tight restaurant seating, checkout lines where I am boxed, plays, movies, concerts, etc.
I wish it would go away. It used to affect my work, and in fact I got a threat that I would loose a promotion because of it. I used to leave after an hour since I would start to hyperventilate and sweat. In my current work I am able to avoid meetings.