Surviving the Workday

We’re in Flagstaff for the night on our way to a conference on sustainable energy. This photo was taken on “Fatman’s Loop,” a trail in the Coconino National Forest so long we couldn’t finish it. Not sure where that name came from. Love how I’ve taken the time to put on a slicker but choose to hike in Tevas.

Flagstaff is a funny place. It’s at 7000 feet with tons of hiking in the surrounding mountains. Demographically it seems like if you took all the white folks in Santa Fe (where we used to live) and just hauled them down I-40 to Arizona, you would have Flagstaff. I’m sure there is more to it than white Santa Feans….I see that there are Sedona Hummer Tours advertised in our hotel room. And they’re biodiesel powered. I shouldn’t find that as funny as I do. But, in all seriousness, Flagstaff and Santa Fe seem examples of convergent evolution—despite wildly different histories, they are places that look and feel remarkably similar to me.

By the way, you only have a few hours left to take my readership poll in the side column….

My last thought on sharing in the workplace is that this discussion is ultimately about being mindful of how we present ourselves in words. Words matter. How we describe ourselves and our lives matters. Assessing your audience helps. Keeping your internal monologue internal helps. But really this is about paying attention to our thoughts and how we use words in the workplace. Important stuff that.

And equally important is to note how individual all of these decisions are. We all have different thresholds for what information we’re comfortable keeping close and revealing. I make calls based on my knowledge of self and of the folks involved. You do too.

So last week while I was consulting, we did a warm up activity involved teachers drawing two representations on their name tents: how they saw themselves and how their students saw them. I facilitated the end of the activity and what followed.

As I circulated in the room, here’s part of what I thought, but didn’t share:

Wow. This is actually sort of an example of post-modernism and multiple selves. Or is that post-structuralist? No, it’s post-modern. Derrida? Foucault? Who remembers…Where is Aribitrary Marks when I need her?

Why didn’t I share that pithy observation about multiple selves? Because I couldn’t remember the difference between post-structuralism and post-modernism? No. Because I knew the audience and knew I would sound like a pretentious ass and turn them off in the first five minutes. This is not to say post-modernism isn’t appropriate and even quite relevant. And maybe if I had time to find a way to talk about multiple selves that closely related I would have done that. But I chose to keep my mouth shut. And that’s absolutely okay sometimes. We don’t need to share all that we know at one time.

Along those lines, I also thought:

Why I remember when I taught high school how I used ot drag myself away from Jim and writing in the morning, put on a long wool skirt and button down blouse to dress like a nun in order to create a sexless teacher persona. Yes, what a perfect example of the difference between how students saw me and how I saw myself!

I also didn’t share that. It was more personal. I hadn’t thought about how to present it. And I didn’t want to risk suggesting that the people in the room were sexless. The memory probably could have been finessed, but I didn’t have time, and I was so tired that I couldn’t quite predict how it would come out of my mouth. Again, it’s not that I wasn’t fully myself in the consulting role. I truly was. But I didn’t have to share every thought that came into my head in an attempt to bond with the teachers. And my internal monologue can remain internal without losing anything.

These are examples from my own life (obviously) and about my own choices with sharing and not sharing. However, I think everyone has to negotiate her own choices about this. My decisions were informed by both knowledge of the audience and the importance of appearing methodical to them, and knowledge of myself and that when I’m tired, I simply don’t ad lib well. So no off-script sharing.

A reader writes, “Please tell me what a manager does.”

Please write your best definition in comments of what a manager does in your workplace. I happen to know this reader is a manager, so we’re not looking for a diatribe on how useless managers truly are. She really wants to know what her job is. And, yes, she did ask her boss, read her job description, and talk to those she supervises. No one seems to know specifically how she is supposed to fill her day when her one hour or so of duties has passed. So now we’re taking her question to the masses, and hoping you can comment specifically on your own workplace.

I will be in transit to the Great American West today so your comments make take a while to appear, but I appreciate them greatly.

And it doesn’t get any better than Glamour Magazine’s quiz: Are You A Spiritual Person? It’s actually not a bad quiz. And #13 has some interesting results.

And did you take my little poll in the side column? Yes? I hope so. You can mark more than one answer too.

but still very harsh.

One of the reason writers tend to dislike editors is because editors can be downright nasty when it comes to rejecting ideas and writing. I recall the letter from an editor that suggested with some training, I might not be bad. Thanks! (Actually, I have a lot of training.) Or the letter that suggested once I had processed the experience with some therapy, it might be proper fodder for an essay. Great! (Already have the therapy too!) And then there is the endless stream of Not for Me’s, which sort of wash over me like the August heat.

But that is just what it means to be a writer. You submit, you get rejected, and occasionally, you’re accepted somewhere. You just learn to live with the fact that editors will often read too much into fiction and assume it’s nonfiction, like certain techniques and not others, and won’t read beyond the first paragraph if it doesn’t grip them. It’s most of all not a quality issue (because editors don’t agree on quality for the most part….what I like others don’t, and vice versa), but an opinion issue.

For an editor, learning how to say no kindly is important. When I worked as an editor at a literary journal, I learned never to give too many specifics about why something didn’t work. The truth is that it just didn’t work for me. It might work for someone else. When I gave specifics (too much narrative summary, not enough evocative detail, cliched dialogue, whatever), I inevitably ended up in an argument with the writer who naturally disagreed with me.

All of that said about how nasty rejection letters can be, I found the overall tenor of this rejection letter truly appalling. You can say no without threatening to shoot yourself in the head. You can reject someone with dignity.

470 of the Fortune 500 companies voluntarily include sexual orientation in their employment non-discrimination policies. And the 30 that do not? 13 are in Texas. Why that’s just under half!

“When 94% of the FORTUNE 500 Companies and 89% of the public support workplace equality, Congress is derelict by its failure to include GLBTcitizens in federal workplace discrimination protection,” stated Malcolm Lazin, Executive Director, Equality Forum. “There is no cost to provide sexual orientation protection.
Corporations and shareholders benefit from a workplace where merit, not intolerance, prevails.”

Of the 30 FORTUNE 500 Companies that are noncompliant, 13 (43.3%) are headquartered in Texas. “When it comes to equality, Texas is a lone and tarnished star,” Lazin stated.

The United States frequently polls with a much stronger interest in equality and justice than you would think from watching the nightly news. Did you see those figures? 89% of the public support workplace equality.

Let’s play a quick game. I’ll paste in five sequential paragraphs from Gallagher just latest city pol behaving badly, and you tell me which one doesn’t belong with the others.

Paragraph One Dennis Gallagher, the Queens councilman recently indicted on charges of raping a 52-year-old grandmother he met at a Middle Village bar, is just the latest in a long line of New York City pols to have been accused of behaving badly.

Paragraph Two At the turn of the last century, a cigar-smoking, hard-drinking, womanizing Tammany insider named Murray Hall was discovered upon death to actually be a woman. When Hall died in 1901, a friend who knew him, er, her, through her work in the State Senate remarked, “A woman? Why, he’d line up to the bar and take his whisky like any veteran, and didn’t make faces over it, either.”

Paragraph Three Ninety-one years later, Sol Wachlter, chief judge of the state’s highest court and a presumed front-runner for the GOP gubernatorial nomination, was busted by the FBI for harassing his ex-mistress after he mailed her threatening letters and sent a condom to her teenage daughter.

Paragraph Four And Gallagher isn’t the first City Councilman to get into hot water.

Paragraph Five His former colleague, Allan W. Jennings, was censured for allegedly sexually harassing two female staffers after he ordered one to clean his house and gave another pornography as a present. Jennings also took out an advertisement in a local Chinese-language newspaper professing his love of Asian women.

Via Feministing and AM New York

Indoor air quality is frequently much worse than outdoor air quality. That’s why you need lots of plants in your office space, which can contain traces of acetone, ammonia, benzene, and formaldehyde.

Students at Chichester College rated a number of plants according to their effectiveness in removing toxins. . Their findings are below:

The students rated the most effective plants and the ubiquitous Areca Palm came first for removing ammonia, and formaldehyde (found in many cleaning products) from the air and releasing moisture into the air. Next was the Peace Lily which removes acetone, then the Rubber Plant, then Ficus Benjamina (weeping fig) then the dracena. Number 6 is english ivy that eliminates mould causing asthma, boston ferns are highly rated for improving air quality, then the spider plant ( is there any
office that doesn’t have at least one of those) and lastly the moth orchid (phalaenopsis).

Hm. I don’t seem to have any of these (or I’ve killed the ones that I’ve had), but I see that my pothos scores well too. It looks like philodendrons do too.

Via Treehugger

As a continuation to Oversharing in the Workplace, I’d like to say that many of us can benefit by a quick assessment of the audience at work before we choose to share information about ourselves.

This is a technique that writers often use in order to choose the tone and information conveyed. Judging the audience is also a technique speakers use to write an effective talk (or sermon). You can also judge your audience in the workplace pretty effectively before you share.

What sorts of details might you consider sharing (or not sharing)?

• I had a very romantic weekend in Pagosa Springs. It’s great to be in the saddle again.

• I hate it here and need to get another job. I’m so damn depressed.

• My partner and I are considering adopting, but we can’t because of our bankruptcy.

• I just had a colonoscopy. Yow.

Now there are times, places, and people with whom all of the above are appropriate discussion topics. How can you tell if it’s appropriate in your workplace? You have to use empathy, and try my little list below to evaluate your sharing beforehand the words leave your mouth:

1. Consider if this is the sort of information that you want the audience to know for the rest of their lives.

2. Consider what happens if the audience tells others people. Could that hurt you? Help you?

3. Try to predict how the audience will react. Smile? Nod appreciatively? Run toward the exit? Picture your anus?

4. Consider how you will respond to their reactions.

If these questions leave you with an icky feeling, consider not sharing it. There are pages and pages of exceptions, of course, but I think a little thought beforehand can mitigate a lot of regret afterward.

I’m going to pick up on two posts that have ramifications in the workplace: Holding Some Back at The Journey and Chronic Sharing at My Moxie Life. These posts discuss the practice of women sharing too much in the workplace in attempts to be open, honest, and bond with other women. Both posts chart how this is treacherous territory.

If you have a best friend at work whom you trust, you can share with her or him whatever you wish within the confines of the friendship. That’s absolutely fine. That’s healthy. But do not share with other women (or men) that you do not know as an attempt to bond.

And here’s why we don’t want to overshare at work: we give up control and we give up power over that information. Once it’s out, it’s out. Oversharing often leaves an icky feeling, which I consider to be a reliable internal barometer of when I’ve overstepped a boundary.

As you may know, a giant metal pipe fell from the sky into my windshield while I was driving Thursday night in rush hour traffic. This deeply affected me in ways I’m not documenting on-line because I like The Privacy (and in fact The Privacy is strongly connected to The Creativity. No privacy. No creativity for me). However, the pipe incident did affect my work that was due on Friday and was incapable of finishing Thursday night. So I wrote a short email to the supervisor saying essentially, “I had a minor car accident Thursday night, so this work will not be done until Monday rather than Friday.”

And his response? “I’m sorry about your issues.”

That definitely caused me to have the oversharing icky feeling and re-evaluate how I could have handled the situation. I don’t consider the car accident oversharing exactly or an “issue.” I consider PMS “an issue.” The car accident is a valid excuse.

Nevertheless this anecdote emphasizes how we need to be exceptionally clear on where our boundaries are in terms of what we share (I actually have a list of what I don’t share). In terms of my own work boundaries (and apparently my supervisor’s), I was oversharing my “issues.” In retrospect, I wish I had just said the work would be late. Period.

Just because I’ve written of the decompartmentalization in the workplace in which you bring your whole self to work (the ethical self, the mommy self, the wife self, the volunteer chair self, the crafter self), does not mean that you need to share the entire self with the entire office. That is not what Parker Palmer was intending in A Life Lived Whole. You can bring the whole self without sharing the whole self. Being whole? Good. Sharing whole? Not necessary in the workplace.

Dear Ms. Theologian:

As the baby-boomer with 17 plus years of valued experience and service in this organization, I am working for someone who is 27, with a PhD. Very intelligent, but does not have any management experience and about 2 years (or less) with this organization. I sense I am being marginalized in favor of the younger 20 and 30 somethings with MAs and PhDs. How do I overcome this and raise my value in this environment?

Dear Baby Boomer:

For a long time, Ms. Theologian thought that this generation gap business in the workplace was a load of hooey. She thought that if you treated people fairly and with respect, they would work together well. But no. Really. No.

She now thinks it is helpful to look at the workplace as a mingling of four generations (Institutionalist, Baby Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y) with radically different expectations and attitudes, and the greatest differences are between Baby Boomers and Generation X. Ms. Theologian has even gone so far as to interview Lewis Richmond about some of these generational differences. She takes this seriously.

You will find Workplace Generation Gap helpful with your query in terms of general ways to relate to Generation X. You’ll want to read the entire article, but here is a relevant excerpt:

If you’re a baby boomer, rely on these tips to smooth interactions with your generation X co-workers:

• Get to the point. Avoid corporate jargon, buzzwords and cliches that obscure what you’re really trying to say. State your objectives clearly when communicating with generation Xers.

• Use e-mail. Take advantage of technology in your correspondence with a generation Xer. Save meetings for issues which require face-to-face communication, and use e-mail when the matter can be handled via a well-worded, concise written message.

• Give them space. Don’t micromanage generation Xers. Generation Xers crave autonomy. Give them direction and then allow them to figure out the best way to get results.

• Get over the notion of dues paying. As a baby boomer, you worked 60 hours a week to get ahead. Maybe you started at ground level and worked your way up in a company. You think members of younger generations ought to do the same. But generation X — which values a healthy work-life balance — typically isn’t spending that many hours in the office. And they’re getting ahead anyway.

• Lighten up. Remind yourself that it’s OK for work to be fun. Generation Xers tend to think you’re too intense and set in your ways.

Let me know how that works. I’m not sure it concentrates so much on demonstrating your value as understanding Generation X and adopting some of their behaviors. If you don’t see any improvement, email at ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.

-Ms. Theologian

I’ve joined a listserv that may be saving my work life. It’s Wom-po, which is a discussion of women’s poetry. And although the listserv seems to have veered into a T. S. Eliot’s critique of William Blake (neither of whom was a woman as far as I know), I’m still loving it.

Anyone have an email list that gets them through the day?

This is the third part in a five part series of posts from Yes! Magazine on Freeing Yourself from Corporate Power. We’ve already covered food and entertainment. On to clothes.

We know that many clothes are made in sweatshops, right? Not just in China, Mexico, or Indonesia, but right here in the U.S.

Good Choose union- and U.S.-made clothing.

Better Make your own, patch holes, buy secondhand. Avoid big brand
names.

I mostly buy secondhand, but am trying to buy only sweatshop free clothes when they need to be new (e.g., underwear).

Scott writes in Two Cheers for Credit Union about the development of a Payday loan between Goodwill and a credit union in Wisconsin that would allow workers to avoid the insanely high interest rate of most payday loan establishments.

Payday loan businesses are part of the fringe economy, which I’ve written about in Borrowing on the Fringes. This is a particularly nasty slice of business. Big corporations, including the biggest like CitiCorp, operate largely unregulated loan centers that take advantage of the poor and credit-poor with interest rates in the 500% category. And as you might imagine the fringe economy is booming.

The Huai River in China has been found “unfit for human contact” at half of its checkpoints as a result of directly dumping effluent and industrial waste into the river. That sounds horrible, but look at the how many people depend on its water:

The rivers posed a “threat to the water safety of one sixth of the
country’s 1.3 billion population”, the China Daily said.

It’s not that the water is unfit to drink. It’s unfit to have any contact with. The groundwater to 300 meters is also contaminated. Read more in China Rivers Threaten Sixth of Population.

I’m not really sure I can say a civil word about popular corporate entertainment.

*thinking*

It is best accompanied by heavy drinking?

Here are some tips from Yes Magazine on freeing yourself of corporate power in entertainment.

Good Buy music directly from the artist. Support independent bookstores. Watch independent movies.

Better Make your own. Sing. Play music. Tell stories. Only 100 years ago, almost everyone did.

I’m not sure where we collectively came up with the idea that in order to be an “artist” you had to get approval from a corporation entity, but I think it’s a symptom of corporate brainwashing. My poetry isn’t going to win any awards, but it kept my housemates amused at Squaw for the week (and I liked their poetry too). And that’s how people used to live without corporate crap. It’s really not that hard to do.

Because apparently there’s a database for listing your jerk boss.

I’m not really sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, I like the idea of listing the jerks and shaming them (this is the sort of the Mean Part of myself). On the other hand, without any criteria and done anonymously, there’s a tremendous potential for abuse. It reminds me a lot of the rapist list in the Wesleyan women’s bathroom stall in the student center. Nevertheless, I first checked my former terror of a boss, and then I looked up myself. Neither is listed.

Temporary workers com in many varieties including temps through an agency, seasonal workers, consultants, contractors, and day laborers.

If you are an employer and bring people in for temporary desk work, it’s helpful if you provide:

• tools to do the work (e.g., a computer with applicable passwords and Internet access)
• a phone and internal phone directory
• directions to the bathroom or, even better, a floor plan
• emergency procedures
• a parking pass, instructions on how to park, or directions to public transportation
• standard work hours and standard work practices

And, of course, if you are a temporary worker, it’s helpful to ask about all of this ahead of time. I always bring a laptop and cell phone for consulting, but definitely need assistance finding the rest of this information.

The Poet’s Occasional Alternative

I was going to write a poem
I made a pie instead it took
about the same amount of time
of course the pie was a final
draft a poem would have had some
distance to go days and weeks and
much crumpled paper

the pie already had a talking
tumbling audience among small
trucks and a fire engine on
the kitchen floor

everybody will like this pie
it will have apples and cranberries
dried apricots in it many friends
will say why in the world did you
make only one

this does not happen with poems
because of unreportable
sadness I decided to
settle this morning for a re-
sponsive eatership I do not
want to wait a week a year a
generation for the right
consumer to come along

-Grace Paley - Begin Again: Collected Poems

I’ve wanted to go to Iceland for a while to check out the geysers (and fairies, obviously), but because of their support of commercial whaling, which I find repugnant, I haven’t. But now Iceland has ended commercial whaling.

It will never be reported in the mainstream media that Iceland ended commercial whaling because of a travel boycott or boycott of whale products in general., but indeed I think that’s what’s happened. In the words of Iceland’s fisheries minister:

The whaling industry, like any other industry, has to obey the market. If there is no profitability there is no foundation for resuming with the killing of whales. There is no reason to continue commercial whaling if there is no demand for the product.

Commercial boycotts work when they are employed by a large number of people, just ask French winemakers.