Surviving the Workday

Dear Ms Theologian –

I am an intern. When I got this job, I thought I would be able to get ahead, but right now, it looks hopeless, and I’ve been living mostly on my credit cards because I work for free. I get lunch from meeting leftovers at work, and there are sometimes freebies that other companies send us, but mostly I’m working for free. What should I do?

-Intern Forever

Dear Intern,

You need to look for a paying job.

Internships can be great ways to gain practical experience in the inner workings of an organization. They can also be a good way to go broke as you memorize exactly how your boss wants her coffee. Take your skills and abilities and go elsewhere.

Seriously.

Spiritual aspects of this question? Ms. Theologian thinks it’s mostly about self-care and self-nurture and lackthereof. Internships were not meant to last forever. Liberate yourself, cherie. Like the butteryfly. Fly, fly, fly away!

Read more about how one intern at Glamour went elsewhere and is highly successful. Be inspired.

-Ms. Theologian

P.S. If you’d like to write to Ms. Theologian, send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.

In a strange synchronicity, I am writing fiction about abortion, and happened upon this Supreme Court decision from this morning, which basically upholds a ban on “partial-birth abortions,” including in cases for the mother’s health. Because god knows, once you conceive, it’s certainly not you, the mother, who gets the majority of legal rights. It’s the fetus. Here is part of Ruth Ginsberg’s statement. She wrote the dissenting opinion:

“…the Court’s opinion tolerates, indeed applauds, federal intervention to ban nationwide a procedure found necessary and proper in certain cases by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. For the first time since Roe, the Court blesses a prohibition with no exception protecting a woman’s health.”

Again, that’s no exception for the woman’s health. I bet Sandra O’Connor cries tonight. I feel like crying. You can read the statements of the 2008 Presidential Candidates. Some of them seem to be cheering. Why was I ever sympathetic to John McCain?

Via Feministing

Home Depot will label its 2500 eco-friendly options with this label, beginning on Earth Day. What’s an eco-friendly option? Well, I like to use diatomaceous earth to keep ants out of my house rather than poison. But I would usually have a hard time finding it at the HD. I also like to sow with organic seeds (not genetically modified). And use non-volatile organic compound paint. This sort of product will now be labeled at Home Depot.

I’m pleased by this development. You’ll recall that less than a decade ago, Home Depot had all sorts of boycotts against it for unsustainable practices. So whether this is some greenwashing or a turnaround on their part, I’ll feel okay about spending my Home Depot gift cards from Christmas on some CFL bulbs. Except they’re giving those away (on Earth Day, April 22).

Via Earth Times and Sustainable is Good

Men work as much as women do.

You probably already read about this survey in Slate. Apparently there is a widespread assumption that women work more than men, but this particular worldwide study demonstrates that this is not true (in the sample surveyed). In fact, women and men sampled in wealthier countries work just about exactly the same amount.

Now far more interesting than the actual study is how exactly work is defined and valued as “market work” (done for money) and “homework” (done for free). Because although women and men may work the same amount, they certainly aren’t paid the same amount. That, however, wasn’t the focus of the study.

And I must return to my own “market work” right now….

Given recent events, I think it’s wise to begin a dialogue about how to prevent workplace violence. Many workplaces have policies on everything from how to survive an earthquake to how to send email, but do not have any training in workplace violence prevention. This seems to be, and I’m hypothesizing, because of the prevalence of “it won’t happen here.” That seems like quite an assumption.

A typical training in workplace violence prevention might encompass these topics:

Explanation of the agency’s workplace violence policy;
Encouragement to report incidents;
Ways of preventing or diffusing volatile situations or aggressive behavior;
How to deal with hostile persons;
Managing anger;
Techniques and skills to resolve conflicts;
Stress management, relaxation techniques, wellness training;
Security procedures, e.g., the location and operation of safety devices such as alarm systems;
Personal security measures; and
Programs operating within the agency that can assist employees in resolving conflicts, e.g., the Employee Assistance Program, the ombudsman, and mediation.

For more information, I suggest you read Dealing with Workplace Violence, a publication of the U.S. Office of Personnel Management and Violence in the Workplace: Risk Factors and Prevention Strategies, a publication of the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health.

I’m not sure exactly what to say about the tragedy at Virginia Tech, another instance of violence in the workplace. It’s so horrifying that I’m speechless. I can’t imagine how scary that must have been.

I’ve mentioned that an average of 20 workers are murdered each week in the United States at work and 18,000 people are victims of nonfatal workplace assaults each year.

It seems to me that part of the problem is that we haven’t prepared in most workplaces for acts of violence. While I taught high school in New Mexico, I took a shotgun from a student. He planned to sell it to another student. And I don’t think either planned any violence, but I was terrified to see the gun. I told him to put the gun back in the truck, get back in my classroom, and then I called the principal.

My teaching mentor was also involved in a school shooting at a vocational college in LA where she was an administrator. A number of coworkers were killed, including her best friend and coworker. So please don’t think that violence won’t occur in your workplace. It occurs all the time. You do not have to be a taxi driver or a liquor store owner (the top two jobs at risk for homicide on the job) in order to be at risk for workplace violence.

And despite violence all around us, I was struck by how students at Virginia Tech wandered campus, hours after the first incident, oblivious because they hadn’t checked their email to receive notification of the shooting in a 9:30 email. Sending an email two hours later doesn’t seem like much of a notification system. It seems like no one talked about the possibility of violence in the workplace, and no procedures were in place.

Do you have a plan in your workplace for how to behave with acts of violence? Do you have procedures to follow? A way to document what has happened? Anything at all? Because it could save your life.

For those of us who work away from home, there are few ways to be more environmentally active on a daily basis than to improve how you transport and consume your lunch.

Cutlery Consider bringing your own cutlery and washing after each use. I saw To-Go-Ware featured in Vegetarian Times a few months ago, and was struck by their stylish and convenient wrap for bamboo cuterly. And think of the plastic that you won’t throw away. Also, plastic is really not the sort of thing you want to put in your mouth.

Carrying Case Consider a reusable constainer like this stainless steel one with two compartments and a plate. It looks like you can get both the reusable container and cutlery for $32. Of course, you might want an insulated case to avoid the confusion of The Office Refrigerator. A hipster coworker carried this one quite well, but I’m quite taken with the orange version of the Fleurville . I should also mention Vegan Lunch box, which consistently has nice bento box containers (and very happy lunches).

Napkins I used to keep cloth napkins and stainless silverware from home in my desk (I brought the napkins home on Friday for washing). Yes, even ten years ago, I did this. (Al Gore did not actually invent environmental awareness, though I think he thinks so….) In any case, I mention this because you do not have to buy anything in order to change you habits. Just grab your cloth napkins and a set of silverware from home.

Beverage containers Consider a reusable bottle (fairly girly link) to fill for your water. But not a plastic one because there’s quite a lot of research that suggests even my Nalgene bottle leaches crap into my body, which affects the endocrine system. There’s a good discussion of the science behind it by Umbra in Grist. Get an aluminum one (less girly image) that is relatively safe, light weight, and made with fair labor and fair wages. (Although, yes, aluminum is hardly an ethically pure metal. Mining of it is not so good for the land…but you only need one bottle. In any case, aluminum is now thought to be a much better choice than plastic, and as an important aside, if you have a baby, please be aware of the research about plastic and babies.)

On my end, I may use my tote bag collection to haul groceries from Trader Joe’s. We normally use their brown bags as trash bags…but every conference I go to seems to give me a tote bag, so perhaps I should find a use for them.

As part of following The Artist’s Way, I made these wax leaf prints of the plants in our yard that did not need much nurture to grow. These are the veritable weeds: dandelion, oxalysis, mallow, chocolate vine, and some other invasive stuff that I couldn’t identify, but that was everywhere despite no rain. I even made wax prints of chard and sage, which survived 13 degree temperatures this winter and were still kicking (until I embedded them in wax).

My hope was that I could illustrate that there is an abundance of life that receives very little nurturing, that life can survive despite not a glance in its direction, despite receiving little sustenance, that there is something about life, in all forms, that is tenacious. Remember that during the workweek. You will survive.

Lest you think I get off on weeds and starving plants, here is a lovely flower that we actually water and fertilize and don’t embed in wax paper (if you click to enlarge it, you can see how a dandelion is trying to choke it…I sense another candidate for a wax print).

This week, it was sort of a Bite Me week, meaning I seemed to complain a lot on the blog (but note that if you would like to order patterns for this awesome cross stitch, check out subversive cross stitch where I ordered Fuck Cancer with wittle bunnies and birdies for a friend. And apologies for using such language to Femminista’s mom.)

I whined about Blue Cross and health insurance in general. The state of California is investigating basically all the big insurance plans, because they have routinely cancelled women’s insurance after pregnancy. Meaning, without cause (which is illegal), simply for using insurance. Nice.

Another workplace shooting occurred, and this one made the news. According to the CDC, there are 20 murders in the workplace each week in the United States and 18,000 violent assaults. It’s hard to even know what to say with those sorts of numbers.

And then my bitching continued with Financial Frenemies, those bestselling authors who tell women that if they have no money, it’s because they spent it all on Sephora. It’s a way of perpetuating sexism, and it’s particularly insiduous because it often wears the cloak of “feminism”….

I commented on the workplace as amoral. No one else did, except when a hamster and shredding device were involved.

And I was nominated for a Blogger’s Choice award. You can vote for me (or someone else!) here. As with all these competitions, it’s about raising readership, and finding new things to read. And I’m nominated twice, one of which seems to be “adult” content. I’m thinking this might have been when I called Blue Cross true motherfuckers. Or possibly my commentary on baby Jesus butt plugs. Come one. You know you want to click.

I’m just kidding. It is really hard to gauge how much touch is appropriate in the workplace.

On the one hand, we know this: people need to be touched. Touch can be healing, nourishing, and all around helpful.

On the other hand, we also know this: touch can be inappropriate and harmful, particularly if it is done by someone with more power to someone with less. I’m trying not to bring that mental image of Bush with Merkel in St. Petersburg to mind. God, that was gross.

So, how often are you touched at work?

Mepoopsie is conducting her own week-long assessment of touch in her own workplace. I’ll check back with her in the coming week.

so it’s time for a quiz.

Does your job feed your soul? is a little assessment on your work life. Take it and post your score here.

I scored 25 of 32. No doubt my little fantasies during long meetings didn’t help my score….

It’s that time again, the moment where I realize that I’m fiercely competitive while I try to feign indifference. Trust me, it’s not easy. But watch me look as though I don’t care even as I curl into the fetal position, listen to Manilow albums, and cry myself to sleep. I’m mostly kidding. We don’t own a turntable.

It would be lovely if you would consider voting for Surviving the Workday at the Blogger’s Choice awards for Best Religion Blog*. I see a few of my favorites are up too, Beliefnet, The Wild Hunt, UU Momma.

You can begin the voting process here by signing up. If you don’t want emails, use your email for your junkier mail, or uncheck the box about emailing you with updates.

*I secured a nomination with a threat of nominating someone else for Hottest Mom Blogger. So you see how ruthless I am.

JPod is a satirical novel by Douglas Coupland about work in an amoral universe at a corporation that makes video games. The main character hopes for love from a coworker in his Pod, all the while also subverting the corporation by creating an Evil Ronald McDonald character in the video game. Along the way, people are killed in the fictional world, much as they would be killed in a video game: matter of factly, and without too much thought or remorse. You’re in my way…and now you’re dead.

What do we learn about work as an amoral universe? JPod demonstrated to me that many corporate environments are amoral. And that seems to be how the device of satire works. By making fun of an environment and corporate practices, you gain a new understanding. The highest good is always the most money, and, with that in mind, it tends not to matter how many people are used up and then fired as long as the stockholders are happy.

Along the same lines, Hire the Liar: The Role of Deception in the Workplace explores the ethical universe of the workplace in depth (in a non-fiction fashion). In it, we learn the rules of the amoral universe. An excerpt:

To goof off without getting caught requires crafting strategies to create a busy appearance. To do so, successful goof-offs use authentication practices that create a convincing image of busywork. For example:

Nobody really gets up to walk over to the next cubicle. But, you know, they’ll just call each other on the phone, and they could be talking about anything. I imagine part of it is laziness, and part of it is to try to look busy. Because if a manager walks by and you’re on the phone, you’re busy, at least that’s what goes through their mind.

I wonder what the long-term effects of working in an environment in which you are constantly pretending or lying in some fashion….I wonder.

Feministing has a great post on Financial Frenemies, which identifies Suze Orman, and others, as pushing a guilt-based financial planning system that identifies women’s emotions and relationships with money as the big problem. That’s why we’re broke. It’s those darn feelings!

I’ve read quite a few of these books.* And, for the first time, Feministing and Lay Off, Suze Orman! seem to identify the actual problem. The problem isn’t me. It’s not that I spend too much on skin creams, mascara, and massages. The problem isn’t that I drive a new car, or god forbid, a leased one. The problem isn’t that I eat out all the time.** The problem is that for a long time, I didn’t earn very much.***

All these books claim to help empower women, but they wind up doing exactly the opposite. Most egregiously, they exaggerate women’s financial foibles at a time when we are making more money than ever before. While still not on a par with men’s, women’s salaries were 77% of men’s in 2005, compared with 65% in 1985. These financial frenemies go on to suggest that our misguided habits are the root of this overblown “problem,” discounting the economic forces that deflate women’s earnings in the first place–things like unpaid family leave and wage stagnation for women-dominated occupations like home health aides and teachers.

Thank you Suze Orman for perpetuating a stereotype that women spend more (they don’t), are entirely guided by emotions (they aren’t), and that any financial problems are entirely of their own doing (and not societal) rather than identifying the larger issues of sexism in society and in the workplace.

Via Feministing

*People gave these books to me. Thank you?
**Note that I do none of these things
***I’m not broke now.

Here’s the latest workplace shooting as described by police (Scherlinck) in the LA Times:

Scherlinck described the shooter as a former employee of one of the offices who might have been terminated as recently as a week ago. The man was armed with a long gun, either a shotgun or a rifle, Scherlinck said. The 170,000-square-foot building houses a number of businesses, including law offices and the accounting firm where the shooting was believed to have occurred.

A while back, I wrote about workplace violence and fielded a Ms. Theologian question about
workplace violence and going postal.

We see violence everywhere from movie billboards to T-shirts to our neighbors and even in our own behavior. The workplace simply continues this pattern; the workplace is a very violent place. According to the CDC, 20 workers are murdered each week at work, and 18,000 a week are victims of violent assaults. With those sorts of figures, it’s shocking to me that we only see workplace violence on the news every once in a while.

The Most Shallow Human Beings on Earth have been located!

George Gurley writes in the New York Observer of his conversations with folks about Iraq at Bungalow 8, a bastion of thought and international goodwill. A snippet from the conversations.

Exhibit A: “Unfortunately, the ‘fabulous people’ get a bad rap,” he continued. “Just because we live life in a certain way, they think we don’t have compassion for other people. It’s just not the truth. But you know, what really upsets me, honestly, is the propensity of the media to focus on Lindsay Lohan going in and out of rehab. I don’t care about celebrities and what they’re doing. I’ve met them all.”

Exhibit B: “I am upset by the Iraq War, but I don’t focus on it, because it’s a negative energy,” she said. “I think we are overanalyzing the situation. I mean, here we are at Bungalow 8!”

Exhibit C: “A rack? You mean titties? Like a really big rack?”

Exhibit D: “The people who are there fighting—it’s their journey. This is our journey,” she continued. “People are dying all around the world. Forget Iraq—they’re dying in this country. And their parents are suffering with them, and our parents suffer for us because we’re at Bungalow. There is no separation in the trauma.”

Exhibit E: “I don’t see myself as an American,” she said. “I see myself as a child of a higher being, and I feel privileged to walk this earth with my daughter and my family. The war in Iraq just reminds me of my everyday war. The only way that I can make a difference is being really grateful for the good, the bad, the ugly—what I can do for me. If I’m straight and I love everybody in a grateful world, that’s the only contribution I can make. And I can teach that to my daughter.”

Exhibit F: “I’m a little bit ashamed, because you go abroad now and everyone hates Americans,” he said. “I was in Florence, Italy—it was my birthday; I’d just turned 21—and everyone was like, ‘Oh, America—fuck America!’ And I was like, ‘No, not fuck America. There are a lot of great people who don’t back Bush, so don’t judge me.’ “I live this debauched life of partying and fun,” he added, “but you have to think about Darfur, you have to think about Iraq, you have to think about the pressing danger of Iran. I think people should enjoy themselves—which I’m not going to stop doing—but at the same time, there should be a level of guilt.

Ms. Theologian is in favor of a debilitating level of guilt.

Start talking about health insurance and just about everyone has a story that you can relate to on some level. (Well, folks who work for the state or the feds or a stable corporation may not quite get what you’re talking about if they’ve had the same health insurance plan for years.) But talk to people who have changed jobs, been laid off, or are self-employed, and you’ll hear horror stories. Scott Wells, of Boy in the Bands, discusses his situation, which sounds slightly better than many (low cost, low service, but still some protection).

I don’t think my issues with health insurance are unusual. Jim and I are healthy people who don’t require a lot of care. We don’t have any long-term illnesses, don’t have any prescriptions, don’t visit the doctor but once a year. But still, we have these high deductible plans. The deductible isn’t more money than we could get our hands on at any moment, so it provides some “protection.”

But, Lord knows I’m being naive about “protection”, because I remember reading how California Blue Cross had systematically cancelled policies of people who needed them the most (pregnant women, and sick actual folks). From the Los Angeles Times:

The state investigation found that Blue Cross used computer programs and a dedicated department to systematically investigate and cancel the policies of pregnant women and the chronically ill regardless of whether they intentionally lied on their applications to cover up preexisting medical conditions — a standard required by state law for canceling individual policies.

Regulators examined 90 randomly selected cases of policy cancellations — out of about 1,000 a year in California — and found violations in each one.

True Motherfuckers. Once your health insurance is cancelled, you are practically uninsurable.

A similar investigation is being conducted of Blue Shield (which different from Blue Cross in California), Kaiser, HealthNet, and PacifiCare. Read the entire article here.

This weekend’s interview is with Ann Peyrat. Ann has had diabetes for more than 18 years, and recently started a business, ‘Betes Babe (TM), that sells accessories and clothing for people with diabetes. It’s called ‘Betes Babe (pronounced: bee’-tees-babe) and she focuses on creating cute, colorful products that are not only useful, but also help raise self-esteem and provide awareness, education, outreach and philanthropy for this specialized population.

How does diabetes affect your work life?

The World Health Organization estimates that 180 million people have diabetes; it’s a growing epidemic. When I look back at the response I received from articles I’ve written concerning my own story with diabetes, I see how it’s connected me to my local community and to people nationwide. It’s those people I keep in mind when my own health gets me down. I think of the friends, the families, the diagnosed and the undiagnosed. I remember when I discovered that I had the disease, my grandmother consoled me with her faith, saying, in effect, “God wouldn’t give this to you if He didn’t think you could handle it.” And even when there are so many times when I think I can’t handle it, I know that there’s something I can do for the greater good, and this is it.

I’m no scientist (I’m not fooling myself that I’ll find the cure) but I do know how to accessorize! So I’m taking the cold, hard medical aspect out of “die-a-betes,” and am infusing it with the friendly, flirty attitude of “‘betes” accessories. I’m talking tiny hot pink purses (that organize your blood glucose meter, test strips and lancet device, while still having room for money, lipstick and ID), lancet devices (sparkly casing, with a rhinestone jewel as the release button—imagine how less scary this would be to kids taking fingersticks as daily routine) and clothing(strategically planned for insulin pump wearers and T-shirts with catchy slogans).

If I didn’t have diabetes, my life wouldn’t have gone in the direction it has. Living with the disease inspires my work, and my work is how I can make sense of why I have diabetes: I have it so I can help others.

What do you find to be the biggest challenge about starting your own business?

Two things immediately come to mind: self-distraction and feeling overwhelmed.

I’ve got the drive, I’ve got the passion, I’ve got the good intentions … but I’ve also got a keen talent for self-distraction! As the proprietor of a home-based business, I’ve sometimes found the lure of daytime television (GMA, The View, Ellen, Oprah), the refrigerator, gardening, reading, playing with the dogs—you name it—too strong to pass up.

In thinking about all the ways in which I would like to reach these goals, I found I could easily become overwhelmed. So, I’ve tried to follow the sentiments of Anne Lamott in Bird by Bird, to break tasks down to small, manageable sizes.

What experience have you taken from previous jobs to apply to your new business?

I’ve worked in print media, retail, and have held positions where interaction with the public is key. One motto I’ve taken from a former employer is: The customer may not always be right, but the customer is always the customer. Meaning, as a business, my job is not just to provide customer service, but it’s to try and achieve the ultimate in customer satisfaction.

Although it may not be considered a job, per se, one thing I’ve been working on my entire life is my reputation. And I’d like to see my business life flourish with an impeccable reputation for quality and caring. When you think of a conscientious company for cool diabetes accessories, I want you to think: trustworthy, honest, fair, ethical; I want you to think: fun, hip, contemporary, stylish; I want you to
think: ‘Betes Babe!

To learn more about ‘Betes Babes, visit Ann’s web site, ‘Betes Babe. All images are copyright Ann Peyrat of ‘Betes Babe. If you have diabetes, please bookmark her site to follow her business development. And if you know one of the 180 million people with diabetes, please consider emailing this post.

Do you have a high deductible health plan? I do. So does my husband. It was the only way we could afford health insurance as self-employed people. This type of plan basically guarantees that we don’t see the doctor unless we’re really sick or for very basic preventative care. Nothing in between. I call it bankruptcy insurance, because it somewhat protects us from an enormous bill from long-term hospitalization, which would probably lead us to bankruptcy as it does with many others.

I always thought this sort of plan was for the self-employed, but apparently many employers are shifting to high deductible plans to save money. Because women require more routine care, including pap smears, and mammograms, women shoulder a greater portion of the financial burden. In fact, adult women 18 to 64 pay $1000 more a year in routine costs than men. And with a high deductible plan, that’s all out of pocket.

Read more Feminist Daily News

Again, just kidding.

Apparently a guest at Disney, who is gay, asked about the Fairy Tale Wedding package for his wedding. This particular pleasure was denied to couples who did not have a wedding license from California or Florida, and so to anyone in a gay or lesbian relationship. But, lo and behold, Disney decided to revise its policy to “allow” gay and lesbian guests to participate in the formalized Disney Wedding extravaganza.

Disney’s Fairy Tale Wedding packages start at $8,000 and include a wedding planner, the ceremony, food and beverages, flowers and table decorations. The Lavish Wedding Option also includes a ride to the ceremony in the Cinderella coach, costumed trumpeters heralding the couple’s arrival, and attendance by Mickey and Minnie Mouse characters dressed in formal attire.

The Cinderella Coach! Need I saw more? It’s almost worth taking back all I said about Disney….no, I do hate Disney, and assume that Disney’s motivation is profit, but still…kudos to them.

Read Disney to allow same-sex couples to have Fairy Tale Weddings.