26th Apr 2007
Ms. Theologian says Boone!
Dear Miss Theologian,
I work in a very professional office, and a coworker curses all the time. Everyone notices, including her boss, and she hasn’t been promoted because of it. But she won’t stop. I am not offended, exactly, but I’m not thrilled with it. I was raised to think that only low-class people talked that way. Should I tell her that her cursing bothers me?
feeling shy
Dear Feeling Shy,
Hmmm…you may have made some assumptions about what a theologian might think about profanity, so Ms. Theologian will give you the opportunity to retract your question….
Retracted? No?
Very well. Don’t say Ms. Theologian didn’t give you a chance.
Ms. Theologian grew up in a profane household. Ms. Theologian’s parents curse (or cuss) all the time. And Ms. Theologian is a writer, who likes words. All of them. So she’s rather comfortable calling a motherfucker a motherfucker. But she doesn’t call everyone a motherfucker. She tries to choose her words carefully.
She was also a high school teacher and, during those years, she did not drop the f-bomb. Or the sh-bomb. Instead, she listened to her students, who occasionally called her a “fucking bitch.” (And she can’t blame them, really. She probably was.)
Ms. Theologian tells you this to demonstrate that language can be used in different ways at different times. Language is complex. The language that works at home may not work in the workplace. Or language may work in one workplace, but not another. Btw, many workplaces have language guidelines, which serve mostly to “protect” them against sexual harassment lawsuits.
So should you tell a coworker that her use of language offends you? Sure. That conversation will probably go like this:
You: I hate to bother you, but you just said the f-word, and it bothers me.
Her: No fucking way!
You: Yes. There it is again.
Her: Well, fuck off!
Ms. Theologian is toying with different scenarios in her head, but she can’t get it to play out better for you. That’s probably because Ms. Theologian is low-class too.
That said, she does think that people should be careful about language, which may be part of your concern. Constant cussing isn’t being careful. Many people agree, including the author of What’s Wrong with Swearing? In fact, he links to fourteen articles in the media on cussing and the workplace. But Ms. Theologian can’t go along with him whole hog because he advocates the use of harmless substitution phrases. For example, in f*ck: a documentary, Ms. Theologian learned that Pat Boone uses his own name as a profane word (e.g., Oh, Boone!). Ms. Theologian chortled for a half hour at that.
Boone!
Ms. Theologian
P.S. If you’d like to write to Ms. Theologian, send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.
