Surviving the Workday

What a pleasant surprise to see PeaceBang unveiled as Victoria Weinstein of Norwell, Massachusetts, in an article in the Boston Globe.

PeaceBang has a blog where she gives beauty and fashion tips for ministers, but I think it’s relevant for all. She often writes of the importance of treating yourself and your work with respect, partially imparted by your clothes.

The primary message I received growing up about clothes was, “This is not a fashion show.” Unfortunately, I grew up in Southern California, and, in fact, it was a fashion show much of the time. My mom still doesn’t quite get that.

In my training as geologist, I developed an appreciation for flannel, whiskey, and for dressing as a cowboy. While it might look well on some, it is not a good look for me. Partly because I don’t wear men’s clothes that well. Partly because whiskey makes me fat. And partly because I’m not a man.

Later, as a teacher in a Catholic school, I often dressed as a nun; I was extremely successful at this, mostly because the nuns gave me their cast off items, because they felt guilty for paying me very little. I “earned” a number of striped sweaters from the 1970s. Wowzer. The colors aren’t so awful, but they didn’t fit very well, and were terribly worn. The nuns didn’t want them to go to waste. It is of some surprise that I met my husband during this period.

It’s only recently that I’ve begun to pay attention to what I wore. I’m still trying to dress better, at least in part inspired by PeaceBang.

You can read her blog here, the article in the Boston Globe here, and play around with fashion plates to dress the minister to hear PeaceBang’s advice here.

This week, we spoke of underwear and love in the workplace.

Ghost Girl revealed the secrets of the underwear industry (shapewear is in, sheer hosiery is out), and, more importantly, how she found meaning in her work.

We debated whether office romance was the cause of the decline of civilization or whether it just happened.

Speaking of the decline of civilization, Valentine’s Day came to pass, and I became exceptionally irritable and gave much advice: If you buy flowers, consider buying organic flowers, so that the flowers aren’t covered in pesticides. If you buy chocolate, buy fair-trade so that the cacoa isn’t picked by children (often in slavery). And don’t even get me started on diamonds. It’s sentiments like this that led me to support Anti-Valentine’s Day.

In our tales of the workplace, we learned that in some parts of New York, supermarket baggers work only for tips. No salary. Their employers consider their work to be “volunteer.” Speaking of just about volunteer wages, we read surviving (and thriving) on 12K a year. And let’s just say the “thriving” quality is really up in the air when you’re getting food from food banks.

And speaking of not thriving at work, we learned that if you are a stripper in Orange County, you’ve given up all rights to your body. You also have no right to control your own body if you shop at Wal-Mart and try to get Plan B.

A final note on behavior: if you’re the bad apple at work, you might be spoiling the rest of the barrel.

I interviewed Ghost Girl (not pictured below), who manages large sets of data regarding underwear all across the nation. That’s right: skivvies of the United States of America. I had never noticed a proclivity toward underwear in our twenty year friendship. Sure, she wore it, but she didn’t seem particularly interested in it. She didn’t converse about. She sure didn’t study it and keep data on it. So, that prompted this question:

What do you find fulfilling in your work life?
I used to think my job was pretty stupid because I don’t really care about underwear. Here I was slaving away putting a bunch of numbers together for execs to spout off in support of making more money. Then I thought about it and realized, these numbers are really going to lower level marketing people, people who may end up presenting them to execs, but these people may have a proposal to turn around a struggling division, and these numbers will support that proposal that will get them noticed and give them satisfaction in their ability to do their jobs well. Basically, I am providing a service to poor schlubs like me who are just trying to get ahead.

For example, we had a major client come in for a meeting and we were explaining our process to them. These people were from a smaller division that was involved with a rapidly declining area–sheer hosiery. People just aren’t wearing pantyhose anymore. The industry has turned to a new direction–shapewear hosiery, which is undies and minimizing bras made of hosiery material and sold in the hosiery department (examples of Spanx.) We were able to show them how that particular data was classified, and the lights just went on. They were very excited to be able to show how their division was single handedly keeping the sheer hosiery category going. It went from “We’re frustrated because we can’t figure out how to show how well we’re doing” to “Oh my gosh, I can justify my existence.”

Also, I have statistical proof that male thongs are not big sellers, and if my data can keep abominations like that out of the market, it’s well worth it.

Amen, Underwear Queen. One can only wonder if that elastic band hurts.

But doesn’t that Spanx stuff also hurt? Just asking….

And congratulations for finding meaning in your work life, and for sharing the knowledge that I wear the most popular underwear in America. I, for one, am satisfied.

I’m not sure what took us so long to switch to Netflix to rent movies, but it may have been some work ethic that said if we wanted the “pleasure” from a rented movie, then we had to face the “punishment” first (drive to the store (10 miles round trip) and pick it out ourselves amid the screaming children.) Now that we’ve been Netflix customers for a few months, I’m not sure how we lived without it.

Alex Steffen in Use Community: Smaller Footprints, Cooler Stuff, and More Cash on World Changing describes Netflix as a model of a sustainable business idea:

I mean, I really hate Wal-Mart. I really, really do.

Last month, Tashina Byrd and her boyfriend tried to purchase the emergency contraceptive Plan B® at the Springfield, Ohio Wal-Mart after their condom broke. Instead, the pharmacist not only refused to provide Plan B® to them, but he laughed in their faces. Please join NARAL Pro-Choice America in sending Wal-Mart President & CEO H. Lee Scott, Jr. a message urging him to improve company policy to require Wal-Mart pharmacies to fulfill requests for Plan B® without intimidation, humiliation, or delay. We need your help to generate as many letters as possible.

Don’t Let Wal-Mart have the last laugh on Plan B.

It’s not an exceptional event. It’s a regular occurence. And although I think you are perfectly entitled to bring your religious beliefs with you to work, you are still obligated to find a way to get your job done. Even if it means referring someone elsewhere. So tell Wal-Mart to knock it off.

The Anti Defamation League has some good resources about Religious Freedom, including an explanation of Religious Accomodation in the Workplace. Here’s an excerpt of a key question that comes up a lot here:

What does federal law require of an employer? Federal law requires an employer to “reasonably accommodate” an employee’s religious observances, practices and beliefs. However, an employer need not “reasonably accommodate” if the employer can show that accommodation would cause an “undue hardship” on business.

This is, of course, vague, and the sort of thing that people hire lawyers to help interpret. What is a reasonable accomodation? What is undue hardship? How does this actually play out in the workplace?

Barrie Gross explores some of these scenarios in Accomodating Religious Beliefs and Practices in the Workplace. For example, if a worker required a place to pray during the workday, a room could be set aside, but would need to be available to all religious groups at different times. If a female worker required that she not be left alone with males (because of religious beliefs), accomodations could be made with an open-door policy, which might be acceptable.

But it’s not always easy. Mark Swartz on Workopolis in Canada has some personal experience with issues that were not so well-resolved in his opinion. He describes a wall at a former workplace decorated with messages of faith. He found it divisive and damaging to the morale. And because the vice president supported the messages, the messages of faith stayed.

After opting out of a rush hour screening at the Laemmle a couple months ago (Lest you think I was invited as part of a group of theologically-minded movie goers, I get weekly Laemmle emails about free previews), I saw Jesus Camp last night.

It was really scary.

Of particular note (other than the oodles of spectacular footage of Ted Haggard, who has a manner quite like David Letterman on ecstasy) was the goal of Jesus Camp founder, Becky Fisher, to train children as soldiers of God to go into the workplace as adults and bring their message of truth. That training included some time speaking in tongues, and then other time praying for aborted fetuses.

Yikes.

I went to UU Camp at De Benneville Pines for many childhood years and don’t remember a goal about bringing my message of truth into the workplace. I do remember a messages about safe sex, no drinking in the woods, and smoking inside. These messages were coupled with building a shelter out of sticks, and some lite fishing (”lite” fishing occurs when one doesn’t bait the hook). But that’s besides the point. Or maybe that is the point.

Jesus Camp as a camp no longer exists. Blame it on the film. Blame it on Ted Haggard. It’s not up and running. But De Benneville Pines sure is.

Huh.

I love how scientific research is always inspired by real-life experience. In this study of organizational behavior, the lead researcher was inspired by his wife’s experience at work with an unpleasant coworker.

So researching love in the workplace and Valentine’s Day has led me to some very unexpected sites, including Ave Maria Singles (Does God have someone special in mind for you for the “vocation” of marriage?), Consumating (How to find people who don’t suck at it), and Bisexuality at Duke (from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, & Transgender center). None of these sites helped me figure out workplace love, so I’ll tell you a story with five examples of love in the workplace.

Long ago, I worked for a Large Corporation in a Big City with both Tristan and Iseult*. Tristan had been brought to the Large Corporation by his beloved mentor from high school in the Midwest (Example #1 Platonic Love or Philio).

Tristan and Iseult were housemates; they did not have a formal romantic relationship. And Tristan would denounce the very notion of such a relationship at a moment’s notice. Iseult, on the other hand, loved Tristan dearly (Example #2 Romantic Love or Eros). The entire department knew. Tristan seemed oblivious and Iseult threw herself into her work.

Years passed in this state of departmental sympathy for Iseult. It pained us to see Iseult so love sick over Tristan. I think this might have been another sort of love on the part of the department, the collective kind (Example #3 Affection and Philio, and in the best moments Agape).

And then, one night, after imbibing a love potion (I’m pretty sure it was of the Gallo variety) Tristan and Iseult slept with one another. The next day, the whole department knew; heck, the entire company probably knew from the way Iseult glowed.

Tristan, on the other hand, looked as if he had smoked a carton of cigarettes after sleeping in a bus station. He thought that sleeping together was a mistake. He liked Iseult, but not that way. Shortly thereafter Tristan and Iseult wouldn’t speak to one another.

I imagine there was a conversation:

In Surviving (and Thriving) on 12K a year, we see a thirty-eight-year old student live on a little bit of money (at least by standards in the United States—yet, I think many folks do live on a little bit here and elsewhere, much like this).

Make no mistake: I’m poor by choice, because I needed to change my life. I chose to leave my marriage, and I chose to become a student. I can live this way because I know it won’t be forever. I’ll have my degree in two more years, and I’ll go back to work.

I survive on economies large and small. I bring my laundry to baby-sitting jobs (yes, I ask permission). I brown-bag my lunch every single day. I combine coupons and rebates to get items for free (I haven’t paid for toothpaste, shampoo or other toiletries for years). I drink water, not soda.

Hey, I drink water too! All kidding aside, I’m ambivalent about this as a life strategy, but I think it’s an interesting discussion topic and it certainly works somewhat in the short-term, if you go back to school. Thoughts? Short-term ramifications? Long-term ramifications?

In Beware the Pitfalls of Office Romance, we learn that office romance can lead to resentment, hurt morale, and lead to sexual harassment charges, expensive lawsuits, and the end of the world!

And then we have the data: 40% of workers have dated a colleague. And the world is still here despite their dating habits. And some of those folks are married or in long-term relationships with former (or current) coworkers. Egads!

It’s impractical and unrealistic to ban office romance. We spend a lot of our time at work, and it’s one of the primary opportunities in many of our lives to meet people, including potential spouses (1. Friends and Family; 2. Work; 3. Internet). Besides, banning something usually just shoves it underground.

However, there are a number of office romance situations that are particularly tricky, and those involve folks who are in relationships with a power disparity. This is the territory that is the most ethically dodgy. Ideally, if there is a power disparity, one of the folks involved needs to leave the position so that they can have a relationship on somewhat equal footing. But this doesn’t necessarily happen, eh?

Why don’t people leave their jobs to pursue a workplace romance? Well, for one thing, jobs aren’t always that easy to find, and sometimes once you have a good one, you want to keep it. Second, you don’t really know how long the romance will last, so it seems more expedient to keep the job, and pursue the romance at the same time. Third, most people don’t really consider how a romance will end, or consequences in general, when they’re in a state of lust-love (a phrase I seem to have coined).

Be My Anti-Valentine is gaining in popularity.

I wish it could be because of the widespread recognition that diamonds are mined in abhorent conditions, cut flowers are often covered in pesticides, and chocolate (cacoa) is most likely harvested by African children (often in slavery and covered in pesticides).

But I fear that the popularity of Be My Anti-Valentine Day is because we’re tired of trying to purchase perfection. It doesn’t work and it makes you feel terrible. You can’t buy love with diamonds, flowers, and chocolate. You can appreciate it, but there’s something sort of odd when you have to appreciate it on a certain day with a certain gift. At least I think that’s what’s going on….I’m still thinking about it….that and why so many folks are in love with their bosses.

In the meantime, despite using the word “lover,” TreeHugger’s 50 Ways to Please Your Lover is still greatly amusing. Check out number twelve.

If you have a home office, consider making a green light. You can let the lamp fill in, or trim it. And while this is hedera (ivy), you can also make the lamp with a tomato plant or grape vine.

I’m not sure exactly how to make it, but I’m thinking a container, some soil, fertilizer, and a plant would be a start.

And then there’s the issue of the frame.

Any suggestions?

You may have had the experience of waking up to cold and snowy (or just dark and wet) weather recently. For many of us, it does not breed the impulse to leap from bed to morning commute, but the impulse to pull the covers up higher and sleep in.

The Emotional Weather Report on Think Buddha offers some thoughts on the weather and work:

If you saw Maria Full of Grace, you’ll know that the flower packing industry in Colombia is horrible enough to make being a drug mule seem like an attractive work alternative.

So, if you’re buying flowers for Valentine’s Day, consider buying organic flowers. When you buy flowers in the supermarket, they often come from third-world countries and are saturated in pesticides. Not so pretty both for you and for the workers who prepared them.

From Cut Flower Industry Relies on Heavy Pesticide Use:

takes place in Orange County, California. Irvine, more precisely.

I can barely summon the energy to write about the cop who ejaculated on a stripper he had been stalking and the jury of mostly men who let him off.

Actually, that’s how the article describes the act, but the details suggest to me that it was much more rape, which is just about always acceptable if the female is perceived as slutty enough. Stripper? Perfect target! She must want it!

When the case went to trial, however, defense attorney Al Stokke argued that Park wasn’t responsible for making sticky all over the woman’s sweater. He insisted that she made the married patrolman make the mess—after all, she was on her way home from work as a dancer at Captain Cream Cabaret.

“She got what she wanted,” said Stokke. “She’s an overtly sexual person.”

Read the entire story here. These thoughts occur to me:

1. Perhaps this is why I’m nervous around police.

2. Perhaps this is why I don’t particularly trust juries.

3. Perhaps this is part of the reason women don’t report rape.

4. Perhaps I need to read about Harvard’s first female president and write some interview questions for Gretchen at Junk Mail Gems so that the morning isn’t entirely sour.

Apparently in parts of New York, some supermarket baggers work only for tips. Their employers treat their contributions as “volunteer” labor. They can earn $10 on a slow day and $30 on a fast day. Yikes. Talk about an abuse of “volunteers.”

You might take a look at Make the Road by Walking, which is a community-oriented activist group that has taken on this issue with a boycott of Bushwick Associated Supermarkets, a chain that has paid immigrant baggers no wages/no benefits for years.

And you might read Long Treated as Volunteers, Tips Only Supermarket Baggers Take Up Fight for Hourly Wage.

via Majikthise

This week I seem to have devoted an inordinate amount of my free time to preserving the Family Medical Leave Act in its current form. Why? I’m not so sure.

The Federal Medical Leave Act was passed under the Clinton administration in 1993, as one of his campaign promises. And boy was there a lot of resistance in Congress. You’d think that we were giving out actual paid leave like in other developed countries, not just 12 weeks of unpaid leave.

So if you haven’t sent an email to the Department of Labor, who is reviewing FMLA under pressure by employer groups (read: corporate interests) you should. Send your comments to whdcomments@dol.gov and use FMLA in the subject line. You have until February 16, 2007 5 p.m. EST to comment

We interviewed Freddi Hetler, who coincidentally did send an email to the Department of Labor supporting FMLA in between headhunting and pet sitting. Her cat Patrick is pictured above.

The rest of the posts seem mostly about love in different forms—at work astronaut-style, Anti-Valentine’s Day, and an inordinate amount of people who seem to “in love with my boss“.

When I clashed with my first teaching mentor over teaching philosophies, I found a much better mentor in Ms. Freddi Hetler, a science teacher at the same high school. Since that time, we’ve both shifted careers and now Freddi splits her time between two businesses run from her homebase outside of Santa Fe, New Mexico. She is the subject of this weekend’s interview.

In one business, she assists a headhunter who recruits candidates for jobs in the public sector. In her other business, she is a pet sitter, providing daily visits for dogs and cats whose owners are at work or out of town. Freddi also has nine non-human animal companions of her own (four dogs, and five cats). And she runs and informal corgi rescue and placement with connections all over the Southwest and volunteers at the humane society in Santa Fe.

Did you intentionally seek out this balance between headhunting and pet sitting? One seems like a desk job, and the other is very active. Would you rather do one or the other full time?

I did not intentionally seek out the balance, but it is a good one as the pet sitting gets me up and away from the computer a couple times mid-day.

I would prefer to do more pet sitting than writing (for the headhunter), but in the bad weather (see photo), this is fine.

Do you find that pet sitting affects how you interact with your own animals? For instance, perhaps all that walking of other dogs doesn’t make you want to walk your own?

I do walk my dogs less!

I have also discovered new products from my clients to use with my pets. I have learned about different kinds of training collars (Halti, Gentle Leader) and have tried them. I have learned about different kinds of cat and dog foods and have changed my cat food because of that. I have discovered different kinds of cat litters and tried some and rejected (or my cats did) most, and I have discovered many holistic/homeopathic treatments for pet anxieties and allergies that work for my crew.

How do you stay connected to other folks with two work-at-home gigs?

I stay connected by having lunch monthly with other pet sitters and I belong to a women’s group that also meets once a month.

Many of my pet sitting clients connect with me via email and we share ideas and problem solve that way.

These photos are of some of Freddi’s non-human companions (three of nine–I think Taffy Evelyn, the sleeping corgi might be pictured twice, once sleeping and once in the snow?). You might want to check out articles by Freddi on homeless pets and search and rescue dogs.

Many people reach this blog because they google “in love with my boss.”

I’d like to learn more about this love and what you’re looking for. Do you want to know that you’re not alone? Because given how many hits I get on this search, you’re not. Do you want to learn how to “hook” the boss? Or rid yourself of these feelings? What are you looking for?

If you’d like to share, please email any details of being in love with your boss at ms dot theologian at gmail dot com and I’ll post a summary (without names or identifying information) on Valentine’s Day. If no one responds, I’ll probably make it up based on my friends.

Kidding….