Surviving the Workday

Groundhog Day and The Weatherman are both movies about work.

In The Weatherman, the main character, David Spritz, seems to have a great job as a weatherman ($240,000 a year to do nothing but read and point, not even predict) and he knows it. However, he’s recently divorced, his son has befriended a sexual predator, his daughter appears to a minor-league delinquent, his ex-wife hates him, and his father is constantly disappointed in him.

In Groundhog Day, the main character, Phil Connors, also seems to have a great job as a weatherman, but is bitter and sarcastic. Only through getting trapped in a time warp in which Groundhog Day is re-lived, does Phil become a better person, fall in love, get the girl, and leave the time warp intact.

Both men find that in order for their work to be fulfilling, their lives need to be filled with meaningful relationships. David Spritz repairs the relationships that he has with his family members while Phil Connors creates relationships with the people in the town in which he is trapped.

The lesson? You don’t necessarily need to quit your job to have a fulfilling life, but you do need to address the relationships within your life.

Things I’ve learned in 2006:

1. It may be a highly touted beauty product, but Smith’s Rosebud Salve is really pink vaseline.

2. Bait and Switch: The (Futile) Pursuit of the American Dream is a great book. If you’re feeling alienated in the workplace, read this book. If corporate life isn’t what you expected, read this book. If you live in fear of being laid off, read this book. If you’ve been laid off, read this book. If you’re laying off people, also read this book. I think it’s brilliant. I want Barbara Ehrenreich to come to dinner.

3. World Prayers is a great web site, which I try to visit every day.

4. I seem to make a division between inner spirituality, which I think should operate in the workplace (morals and repsonsibility, silent prayer, meditation) and outer spirituality, which I think has just about no place in the workplace (prayer out loud, Santa, Christmas trees). This surprised me.

5. Discardia is my favorite holiday as I attempt to increase my joy to stuff ratio (joy : stuff) especially in my home office.

6. For years, I did not believe my mother when she said that the Beaver Tail Cactus could throw its spines from it to you as you walked by. It seemed inconceivable.

But, after spending many hours yesterday picking those little buggers (glochids, not spines, Mother) out of my hands and random places on my body, I believe her.

6. The Myth of Meritocracy is hard to give up, but necessary.

7. The Corporation is conscience-free. They operate only for the greater profit, not the greater good. That is, in fact, their primary mission. So when you see something like this, and see that Wal-Mart is investigating solar technology, know that it is a good thing, but only done because it is profitable.

Lessons are still being contemplated. Stay tuned for perhaps more.

I’m going to try and use that line whenever I can.

As you know, I’m having my own informal celebration of Discardia, in which I clean out the home and office of things that we don’t need or want. By “clean out,” I don’t mean “throw out,” but recycle in some fashion.

Fortunately, Los Angeles County has better than average recycling, so everything (paper, plastic, cardboard) that can be recycled is finding a place in the bin. I’ve tried to use freecycle and Craigs List, which might work in your neighborhood, but here no one seems to want my crap.

But what about those gifts?

For example, say you were given a pink fleece shirt (just pretend). What could you do with that, if say, you found it appalling?

Discardia has the answer.

How can you part with unwanted gifts without considering it an insult to the giver?

Give everyone permission not to be able to read your mind and give yourself permission to change. The intent of gift giving is to make someone feel good (and/or to repay a social obligation). Recognize the act and the intent. Perhaps keep the gift around for a courteous amount of time, but on no account lie excessively about how much you like things you don’t - you don’t want to set yourself up for a matching bad gift the next time. Once the necessary niceties have been observed enough to communicate your gratitude for the intent, you should part with unwanted gifts without guilt. Disposing of them may require more discretion than with other things - the yard sale which the giver is likely to attend is a bad method, but the bottom of your Goodwill bag covered by that shirt that doesn’t fit anymore is just dandy. Quietly get rid of it and if the giver asks about it later, say something about your appreciation of the occasion and their thoughtfulness, but that it just didn’t fit with your other things.

Note: there are some gifts into which a great deal of hard work was put. For these, it is probably best to come clean and let the giver have the opportunity to take back their artistic efforts rather than sneakily disposing of it. Bite the bullet and say “I really appreciate your making me something so special. I am impressed by your thoughtfulness. Unfortunately, this painting just doesn’t fit with the rest of my decor/I don’t wear the color of this hand-knit sweater/I’m allergic to taxidermied animals…” Whatever. It might be a rough conversation, but it’s better than the “You gave away my masterpiece to Goodwill?!!!” one

I’m allergic to pink fleece.

Children, everybody, here’s what to do during war:

In a time of destruction, create something.
A poem.
A parade.
A community.
A school.
A vow.
A moral principle.
One peaceful moment.

maxine hong kingston from World Prayers

World Spirituality Day is December 31st, which is Sunday, so it’s time to prepare.

World Spirituality Day is a time to assess your spiritual experiences, the transformative kind and the non-transformative kind. This day was originally the idea of Integrative Spirituality, but has moved onward to all religious traditions.

To see ways to celebrate, click here.

I didn’t order a Franklin Planner refill this year, mostly because my planner has been annoying me for a while. It’s big and heavy enough to be used as a weapon or possibly a small meditation cushion. I don’t use most of it on a regular basis (the emergency info, the address book). And, yesterday, God help me, I left the house without it and nothing bad happened. The phone numbers I wanted were in my cell phone and the note taking I did in my journal.

So I’ve been reading about the Hipster PDA and am thinking of making one of my own. Because I’m a hipster. Ha.

Basically a Hipster PDA is a bunch of index cards and a binder clip. Period.

Read more about lightening your load and why Zen monk’s robes don’t have pockets (not exactly true, but a good point).

Welcome to Discardia, the floating holiday that celebrates giving it away (Am I the only one who now will hear the Red Hot Chili Peppers for the rest of the day? Give it away, give it away, give it away now). In any case, it’s not just giving it away, but letting go of stuff, including emotional stuff, that weighs us down.

Read some of the lessons learned at Discardia, including:

You need less than you think.

Most of the Rest of the World Gets By On Less Than You Imagined

Compared to the Rest of the World, You’re Rich.

You might enjoy Ads We Hate, an article in Slate about some of the most irritating commercials on television, with links to You Tube to see the actual commercials. I think Fudgems are probably the best (and by best, I mean, absolute worst and most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen! A cube of poo! Or is it hash? Gross)

What does this have to do with spirituality and the workplace? Each of these commercials by one of our favorite corporate overlords (Visa, Intel, Domino’s, etc.) tries to tell us what’s cool, what’s hip, and how to spend our money. Examining these messages is one of the steps in analyzing your relationship with money.

I’ve often wondered how my motivation is affected by those around me.

I had a coworker I absolutely adored, who I could talk into getting something to eat (usually a breakfast burrito) at any time of day, anywhere in northern New Mexico. She would do anything for her to not to be in the office and to watch me practice my Spanish (apparently very entertaining). Did hanging out with her affect my productivity?

What about spending time with the coworker who hits the ground running every Monday morning? Her own productivity used to inspire me, though it also made me exhausted when I tried to keep up.

Does the bored colleague who seems to do nothing other than eat and laugh at my bad Spanish affect me? Does the super charged colleague affect my productivity?

Apparently yes at least in terms of the highly motivated colleague motivating me.

In an article in Slate, Do hardworking employees make their lazy colleagues more productive? we see that economists studying supermarket cashiers found that simply being in the proximity of a more productive colleague was enough to raise productivity.

I suppose we could conclude that you should be careful who you sit next do (or stand next to). But while the productivity of a cashier can be measured somewhat easily (at least quantified easily), productivity is somewhat more elusive in other jobs.

As a Christmas present, I offer this list of most popular and weird search terms that have led people to my blog:

well-hung squirrel
job hatred
I’m in love with my boss
make me an instrument of your peace
naked women with orthodonture

Nothing against those who grow Christmas trees (a totally sustainable practice), but I really groove on people who make their own trees.

Check out 10 Do It Yourself Christmas Trees.

Via Boing Boing

The Mystery Stone was found on the shores of Lake Winnipesaukee in 1872 and has been the subject of much speculation. Where did it come from? Who carved it? What do the symbols mean? Is it Inuit? Celtic?

I’m not sure why I find it so fascinating, except that it’s not often that archaeologists and geologists are so puzzled. Because natural sciences in the 1870s focused mostly on the object itself, the precise location, surrounding rock, that sort of information was lost. The symbols don’t correspond to anything in New Hampshire.

Read more at the New Hampshire Historical Society and at CBS News.

Via Boing Boing

We haven’t had surprise evening guests for several years, so tonight, I put on my PJs and started baking. Jim took a nap because of home repairs occupying the entire week.

And then came the carolers, with jingle bells, onto the front porch, singing their hearts out. No, I thought. This can’t be. We’ve been scratched off the list. We haven’t seen them in years!

My first inclination was to pretend I wasn’t home. This is obviously rude since I know the carolers, and highly unlikely because all lights in the house seemed to be on (except those in napping rooms) and both cars were in the driveways.

I managed to overcome my first inclination and open the door, in my PJs (men’s long underwear—so attractive on women!), still, which seemed to be drooping inappropriately beneath my red plaid robe (that I only wear when sick because it is hideous), thus exposing myself to the neighbors as the sort of person who is in her extremely ugly PJs at 6 p.m. on Friday.

Our dog went bezerk at the crowd of unknown people singing, and almost barked in unison with the entire two verses of Rudolph the Red Nose raindeer. Then the timer on the stove went off, the cake started to burn, and the dog then jumped up on the screen door to inspect the carolers personally, which broke the screen door.

I just kept smiling and pulling my PJs up under my robe.

When it was all over, and Jim was awake (because how could he possibly sleep with a singing dog), he decided to fix the screen door, in his PJs, and more people came over to carol and this time with cookies while he adjusted his pajamas and tried to seem thrilled to be fixing a door and not have cookies for them.

Clearly we need to remain in our work clothes until at least 8 p.m. I’d also like a heads up if you’re coming over to my house.

We wish you a merry christmas. Seriously. Just call first.

Mark Taylor, a professor at Williams, has an interesting Op-Ed piece about religious fundamentalism on college campuses titled, The Devoted Student. He notes that students seem more religious than ever before in his teaching practice. But that it’s not just that students are religious, but they are fundamentalist and unwilling to examine their own views as they examine others:

The chilling effect of these attitudes was brought home to me two years ago when an administrator at a university where I was then teaching called me into his office. A student had claimed that I had attacked his faith because I had urged him to consider whether Nietzsche’s analysis of religion undermines belief in absolutes. The administrator insisted that I apologize to the student. (I refused.)

My experience was not unique. Today, professors invite harassment or worse by including “unacceptable” books on their syllabuses or by studying religious ideas and practices in ways deemed improper by religiously correct students.

It’s odd that in environments that should be open to the pursuit of knowledge that there is a limit to how this is pursued.

Do you recognize this image?

Yes, it’s the Grove. And if you live anywhere near Los Angeles, you don’t want to be at the Grove now or anywhere near Fairfax and Third. Because there’s never any real parking at this time of year. Those spaces that are supposedly on the top floor of the parking structure? Completely fictitious. Good luck finding them. They’ll be gone by the time you wind your way to the top of the structure.

Over at LosAnjealous, we have a retooled version of this familiar scene at the Grove. Yes, it’s hell. The parking structure at the Grove is absolute hell, as is the entire Grove, imho, during the rest of the year.

The energy today is frantic and it’s contagious. Stay safe (and stay home). Remember that everyone is not sane today.

You might read Green Home Living’s 10 Tips to a Greener Christmas for more ways to avoid holiday hell.

Surviving the Toxic Workplace is a great article for women and men on how to identify saboteurs. My favorite part? The author, Judith Briles, writes about the discrepancy between what we are taught and how we need to behave in the workplace. This excerpt:

Women must learn that not everyone is friend material. Mom told us to be friends, to be nice and that our turn will come. Well, sometimes Mom is wrong.

Read more here.

The rebirth of the sun.
The birth of the Son.

Hmm….

Winter Solstice was overlain by Christmas beginning in the fourth century. Winter Solstice is the shortest day of the year and marks the official beginning of Winter.

You may be surprised to discover that you already do many of the practices that make up celebrating Winter Solstice, including gathering with friends and families, decorating your home with holly, ivy, and pine boughs, using fire to show the power of light in your life, and contributing to the betterment of others by donating food and clothes to those in need.

If you’re anywhere near Madison, Wisconsin, the Circle Sanctuary has a Solstice Pageant at the local First Unitarian Society that sounds pretty spectacular and is open to the public. Check out some photos here.

“Santa Claus is inherently Christian,” said Michael J. Broyde, the director of the Law and Religion Program at Emory University and an expert on Jewish law and ethics, pointing out that the character is derived from a third-century saint, Nicolas.

This quote is from At One Jewish Home, Making Room for Santa, an interesting article about a Jewish family in an Orthodox Jewish neighborhood displaying Santa and pissing off the neighbors (at least the adults).

You’ll recall that Ms. Theologian took on the big red guy earlier and said he was explicitly Christian and from the fourth century, not third.

I would take Michael Broyde’s point further. Although Santa is inherently Christian, he’s much more Western Christian than anything else. Not all Christians celebrate Christmas in the same way. In 1054, the Western and Eastern churches split and Eastern Orthodox churches, such as the Greek Orthodox church, make a much bigger deal over Easter than over Christmas. Christmas is a small solemn celebration in many Greek families. A number of other Eastern Orthodox churches, including the churches of Russia and Serbia, celebrate Christmas on January 7, because they use a different calendar.

At this date, you’ve probably had your holiday office party and hopefully you’ve mingled, talked to people you don’t normally talk to, not had too much to drink, and moved on with your life.

Because judging from the letters I receive, whether the office party is a potluck during the lunch hour or at the bar down the street on a Friday night, these office holiday parties create a great amount of anxiety and dread for many people. From the actual stories about holiday parties to questions about whether or not Santa can be invited, people are worried and not having a good time.

I found this delightful description of the office party at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. My favorite parts? Only inviting full time employees and giving out tiny gold pins to employees for decades of service.

The story begins with last Christmas, when “the mgmt” decided that not all were welcome at our annual holiday fiesta. Yes, it’s true. They decided to only invite full time employees. Despite the fact that many of our part time employees had worked for us for many years and several “new” full time employees had been there for a few months, part-timers were excluded.

Read more about this office party here.

And it looks like Slate has some of America’s worst offenders for office parties as well in the Corporate Scrooge Contest.

Finally, Gawker has more in Unsolicited: Everything I needed to learn about Office Parties, I learned in high school. And it’s publishing specific. How sweet.

Cultural brainwashing regarding abilities and skills determined by sex starts pretty early, as you can see with the Discovery Channel’s Gift finder for boys (forensics, fingerprinting, and rock polishing!) and girls (pottery, knitting, nail polish!).

But still floors me is how engrained sexism is at a professional level in science. In Women in Science: The Battle Moves to the Trenches, we see that these attitudes are prevalent everywhere:

Even today, Dr. Heilman said, the idea that women are somehow unsuited to science is widespread and tenacious. Because people judge others in terms of these unconscious prejudices, she said, the same behavior that would suggest a man is collaborative, judicious or flexible would mark a woman as needy, timid or flighty.

And because science is still widely viewed as “a male arena,” she said, a woman who succeeds may be viewed as “selfish, manipulative, bitter, untrustworthy, conniving and cold.”

“Women in science are in a double bind,” Dr. Heilman said. “When not clearly successful, they are presumed to be incompetent. When they are successful, they are not liked.”

Thanks to GhostGirl for the link