Surviving the Workday

You can stop your junk mail for a dime a day and have a tree planted for you at Green Dimes. Doesn’t seem like a bad Christmas gift for the person who has too much.

It’s time for the Friday Quiz.

How Grateful Are You?

Has anyone ever kept a journal of positivity?

I used to keep one of positive things that people said about my editing and writing. This was to counteract the negative things that people also said. Of course, this is just part of the job when you edit and write, but after a while it became hard to remember why I was doing this. (If you know, please email).

From the Daily OM, a description of how to focus your diary in a positive way:

Your diary serves as a repository of personalized encouragement. Since a diary is, by its very nature, as individual as you are, you should give some thought to the type of diary that will serve you best. A synchronicity-and-connections diary might describe those instances where seemingly random occurrences came together in a meaningful way, propelling you forward. Or you may find strength in the pages of a pride diary that makes note not only of those times you felt proud of yourself but also precisely why you were pleased with your efforts. And a cause-and-effect diary can help you become more decisive by reminding you of all the wise, life-affirming choices you have made. Your diary should be small enough to be readily portable and on hand whenever possible because the faster you put your thoughts down on paper, the more authentic your declarations are apt to be.

Dear Ms. Theologian:
What does Ms Theologian think about employee rewards programs? I’m not talking about raises and promotions, or little cards that get punched every time you buy coffee and you get the tenth cup free. I mean, those programs where the same people get nominated every month for
a $100 gift certificate. Any suggestions
for a meaningful and FAIR rewards program?

Never Been Nominated

Dear Never Been Nominated:

Ms. Theologian has developed her own reward program. You mail her $100. She nominates you for Reader of the Year of the Spirituality at Work blog and awards you $100. No harm done. And you lose your virginity, so to speak, and have something to add to your resume.

In researching your query, Ms. Theologian has been blinded by a plethora of bad management websites on motivating employees. Before she went blind, she thought of two critical things to build a meaningful rewards program:

1. a decent group of people to develop the program drawn from different departments and different levels i.e., not all management, not all marketing.

2. a meaningful reward. Now apparently $100 is supposed to be meaningful. Frankly, Ms. Theologian would rather a half day off at work. Someone else might choose to get flowers on two consecutive Fridays. Someone else might want free gym membership. Someone might want a free tortured dead bird, and by that I mean a Butterball. You don’t know what employees want unless you ask. You might use this survey, but Ms. Theologian prefers a more free form approach.

Off to bathe her eyes in chocolate pudding to numb the pain of bad management technique,

Ms. Theologian

P.S. If you would like to write to her graciousness, please wait 24 hours for her eyes to heal and then send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.

Dear Miss Theologian,

My sister and I both like crafts and want to start a craft business together. But people keep telling me that the partnership is a bad idea. Do you have any thoughts on this?

The Older Sister

Dear Older Sister:

Yes, people are always approaching Ms. Theologian about business model questions. Happens all the time.

It’s not clear to me if people are saying that partnerships in general are a bad idea for you, or if a partnership with your sister is a bad idea. And really I’d like to know more about the relationship you have with your sister before advising. If, for example, your sister is the Devil, but she makes a mean quilt, perhaps you should think deeply about partnering with her.

In any case, I’d suggest that you ask yourself some key questions.

Here’s part A:

Do I love aspects of doing this business more than just about anything on Earth?
Am I willing to give up some nights, weekends, and holidays in order to do this?
Do I really want to do this?

If yes, you may move to part b. If no, stop the partnership talk, consider a sole proprietorship, and continue your day job.

And for Part B:

Do I trust my partner?
What will our roles be in the company?
How will we make decisions?
What are our short and long term goals for the company?
Under what conditions would the business partnership dissolve?
What conditions are necessary for the partnership to succeed?

Inc. Magazine has a good article about partnerships (and you thought I only read Tikkun!), but the content isn’t accessible on-line. You’ll have to buy the November issue. Their advice: Don’t. But because they are a practical magazine, they have some communication suggestions for those who continue: address issues immediately, be specific, listen, repeat, find a solution together, keep trying. They also think you should draft a buy-sell agreement.

On the other hand, I did just read an article about partnerships between sisters, Sistership proves powerful for some executive duos. I think if your relationship with your sister is one that allows for great communication and that you both accept who you are, your skills, your talents, your weaknesses, and don’t tread on each other’s toes, you’ll be fine.

Good luck,

Ms. Theologian

P.S. To write a work-related question to Ms. Theologian, send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.

Dear Ms. Theologian:

And what might you think of this?

–Doubly Curious

Dear Doubly Curious:

Ms. Theologian actually has a small collection of Christmas collectible art, but only the blasphemous and slightly obscene kind, like the Erect Devil Ornament, Dancing Piggie with Presents Galore, and the Praying Santa.

Now she hadn’t thought of kitsch in theological terms, but the Ship of Fools has.

Think of this: Christmas is supposed to be profane. The idea of God sending his only son to earth (to die a painful death) is obscene. It is the ultimate sacrifice.

Think of Abraham and Issac. If God asked for your son to be carried up a mountain and then slit to drain and die, no doubt your reaction would be more than a polite no. No, God, I don’t want to lose my son.

And that’s exactly what God does in the New Testament. He sends his son to a painful death. It’s totally obscene. And Jesus’ actions in the world are almost exclusively to turn on its head the practices of the day: the money lending in the temples (obscene!), the treatment of women (equally obscene!). There is actually a lot written in theology about the obscenity of Christmas, and so Ms. Theologian is quite happy to continue with her collection of things that turn the Christmas story on its head.She’s thinking that the dog nativity scene might be a nice addition to the collection, but not sure which collection of dogs is most appropriate. Jim prefers the shepherd-centered collection for obvious reasons. These are sold on Wild Things, by the way.

Thankful for your shopping tip,

Ms. Theologian

P.S. If you’d like to write to Ms. Theologian, send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.

Dear Ms Theologian–

What do you think of this?

-Curious

Dear Curious:

Ms. Theologian is reminded of when she was a little girl and she spent the night at her friend Heather’s house. Heather’s mom took the girls aside and told them that sex toys were bad, because they made you reliant on something other than your partner’s parts and machinations.

Ms. Theologian had no fucking idea what Heather’s mom was talking about at the time, and went back to rollerskating around the condo complex with a pompom on her head (she was trying to be Rollerderby Raggedy Ann).

Ms. Theologian is by her nature oblivious to much, including sex toys that resemble religious figures, such as Jesus, Mary, and Buddha.

So what does she think about them?

Restricting sexual behavior is the territory of most conservative branches of religions, who are so preoccupied with sex that one might just want to send them one of the products from Divine Interventions to play with and get over it. Many religions have basically banned practices that are non-procreative in nature including what one might do with a dildo or butt plug but also including oral sex, anal sex, sex between two people who can’t procreate in an egg-meet-sperm way, and other things I probably don’t know about, but someone will now choose to inform me.

So here’s how Ms. Theologian sees it: Human beings at their most basic nature are sexual creatures, just like all other animals; they are also spiritual creatures (and Ms. Theologian will save arguing for the spirituality of her dog for another time—ah, but watch her sniff the fall air for squirrel and know how she enjoys to be alive in the moment!). So there is absolutely no conflict between sex and spirituality. There is just about always a conflict between sexuality and religion (the organized (mostly) group pursuit of spirituality).

Now Jesus had little to nothing to say about sex. Seriously. People make a big deal about him chastising a woman for her past in John 4:16-18, but other interpretations of this passage are just that he was showing off that he knew her in order for her to recognize him as a prophet. And it worked.

There’s another somewhat relevant passage in John (John 8:1-11) that is known to be added at a later date (a forgery!). In this passage, Jesus tells people that the person to throw the first stone at an adulterer must be without sin. And you know how that goes. No stones were thrown.

And then we have Matthew 5:31 and Matthew 19:9 in which we learn Jesus didn’t like adultery. Well, neither does Ms. Theologian. For more information on Christiantity and Sex, you might read Religious Tolerance’s excellent treatment of the topic.

So if you want to know what Jesus said about sex, you’ll have use his ethical teachings: treat your neighbor as you wish to be treated; don’t be exploitative, manipulative, domineeering of others, don’t abuse children.

So, in short, Ms. Theologian thinks that Jesus would be totally okay with the products offered at Divine Interventions (though she might argue that the description of the Judas dildo (Imagine if he could fuck the son of God what he could do for you) does not appreciate more recent revelations that Judas didn’t really betray Jesus, but that Jesus asked Judas to turn Jesus in).

While she’s on the petty point podium, she would also like to note that the reason Divine Interventions ships more dildos to Texas is because dildos are illegal to purchase in Texas, not necessarily because more people in Texas use dildos as implied in the Village Voice article.

Now where are Ms. Theologian’s roller skates?

-Ms. Theologian

P.S. If you would like to write to Ms. Theologian, send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.

Dear Ms. Theologian:

–The Boss

Dear Boss:

Ms. Theologian praises your diligence for being at work on a beautiful Fall day. But she wishes that you would go outside.

In Ms. Theologian’s world of freelancing, there are no sick days, so she struggles to relate to this…but here it goes.

You’ve identified these three options:

a. real flu with a slip of the tongue. (This seems most likely.)
b. fake flu with slip of the tongue. (Possible.)
c. fake flu with intentional indication that it’s not (Possible.)

Options a and b are of little interest. Now for c. to be true, the employee must think you are a cool boss, with whom the employee can verbally wink and be in cahoots with. And, frankly, I think a self-congratulatory moment may be in order. If c is true, then the employee likes you. She really likes you!

–Ms. Theologian

P.S. If you’d like to write to Ms. Theologian, send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.

I’m not sure it’s funny how obsessed by this bag I am.
Made from recycled materials (candy bar wrappers in this case), it’s good design merged with environmental consciousness. I’m afraid I may carry too much in my purse though to downsize.

(My neighbor has a larger tote bag made out of Capri Sun packages. I just hope she didn’t have to drink 400 Capri Suns.)

Check out Ecoist for other ideas (purses made from Luna Bar wrappers, for example)

Look who’s the featured feminist (scroll down) on girlistic!

It’s quite possible that I’m the only person who did not realize so many people believed in fairies. Sure, maybe in Ireland. But there is a substantial group of people who see fairies.

Do you believe in fairies?

Resources:
FaerieLand
Do You Believe in Fairies?
History of Fairy Belief

In my summary of tips from Ideal Bite, I can only say that I wish I had this list of countertop alternatives when we remodeled the kitchen. We tiled the countertop, not a bad choice, but there are some much more interesting choices from Ideal Bite below (keep in mind that the prices may look high compared to flooring prices, but that you’re covering a much smaller space):

Green Building Supply - bamboo slabs constructed with ultra-low levels of formaldehyde ($25/sq ft).

AFM - eco-friendlier sealants for your new bamboo countertop ($20/gallon).

Kliptech Paperstone - Paperstone feels and looks like finished slate, but is actually made from recycled paper ($35/sq ft)!

Squak Mountain Stone - rough-looking (in a good way) cement, paper, glass and coal fly-ash blend ($137/sq ft).

Richlite - check out samples of their sustainably-forested paper-based countertops - like Paperstone, they’re stain- and scratch-resistant ($80/sq ft).

GreenSage - great for backsplashes, these 100%-recycled beauts come in 6 sizes and 6 colors ($36/sq ft).

Terra Green - about 55% recycled tiles in several different textures ($25/sq ft).

Starting a Wage Club is one way to start to eliminate the large gap between female and male wages for the same work and the large gap between wages for white people and people of color.

I have an informal wage club with another freelance friend in which we bounce off rates that we charge, rates that we pay people, etc. He’s male, so it’s not entirely about male-female wage discrepancies as much as it is about sharing so that we’re not tempted to take those low-wage gigs that drive the price for all freelance services down.

Now, depending on where you work, you may not be allowed to discuss your wages. It was all but disallowed at a big publishing company I worked at and people were fired for it. And, frankly, that was because there were some enormous discrepancies. Some people earned twice what I earned but had the same job title and did the same work. But still, most people didn’t share salary information. There’s some shame associated with it. We think we don’t earn enough. And in some cases, occasionally, we earn way too much.

So consider how you could start your own formal or informal wage club for support for equal and fair pay for all.

Resources:

Pay Equity Information
Wage Gap Over Time
Equal Pay Day

Ah, Reston, Virginia, where I spent some formative years.

The Terraset Elementary school did not exist when I was in Reston, and it’s a pity. Terraset Elementary school is essentially built underground in order to provide insulation. This is a “green” building technique, and a fairly popular one. Some history:

When Terraset opened its doors in February, 1977, the energy conscious design of the school was viewed as the wave of the future. On May, 1977, Crown Prince Fahd, Prince Saud and U.S. Energy Advisor James Schlesinger attended Terraset’s dedication. Visitors came to Terraset from over the world to see this experiment in solar power. A visitor center was constructed to accommodate the many visitors interested in the project. Over 15,000 visitors arrived during Terraset’s first year of operation.

While the design of the school has provided insulation that saved thousands of barrels of oil, the solar collectors failed to live up to expectations. Built for Saudi Arabia’s hot but stable climate, the panels cracked under Virginia’s fluctuating temperatures. The panels leaked so much that, in the winter, icicles would form over the entrance way and drop unexpectedly. The hazards of the network and the costs of repairing the panels finally prompted the County to remove the solar panel rack. The other aspects of Terraset’s energy conscious design continue to provide savings in energy costs every day.

Jim and I stayed in a home in New Mexico that was built mostly underground. The front side opened out with big windows, the back rooms were tidily insulated with earth. The only problem? We couldn’t find the house initially for the life of us. I think we must have driven right by it a half dozen times before we got out and poked around.

Via Treehugger

Pentecostalism is the fastest growing religion in the world. Emphasizing the direct experience of the holy spirit, fairly frequently in Pentecostalism, people speak in tongues.

I’ve often wondered exactly what goes on when people speak in tongues. Are they crazy? Are they possessed? Does God speak through them? Well, now there is some light shed on that from brain imagery.

From the New York Times A Neuroscientific Look at Speaking in Tongues:

The passionate, sometimes rhythmic, language-like patter that pours forth from religious people who “speak in tongues” reflects a state of mental possession, many of them say. Now they have some neuroscience to back them up.

Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania took brain images of five women while they spoke in tongues and found that their frontal lobes — the thinking, willful part of the brain through which people control what they do — were relatively quiet, as were the language centers. The regions involved in maintaining self-consciousness were active. The women were not in blind trances, and it was unclear which region was driving the behavior.

From GhostGirl

Ideal Bite continues their green remodeling week. Today we take on cabinets.

Now cabinets are tricky because many modern cabinets contain particle board, which appears at first glance to possibly be recycled wood, but is actually a mess of chemicals. Not just in the wood, but in the finishes too. Here’s a few resources from Ideal Bite.

Neil Kelly - One of the first eco-friendly cabinetmakers knows style. Actually made from wheat, it’s super-durable.

Teragren - designed using bamboo, one of the world’s most sustainable materials.

Medite II - if you’re into constructing your own cabinets, try this formaldehyde-free wood fiber particleboard, or find a cabinetmaker who does.

I honestly thought if the Republican led Congress and Presidency continued I was going to have to leave the country. Between the anti-gay bigotry affirmed from selective misinterpretations of the Bible to the war on women’s bodies (not just abortion, mind you, but birth control), it was hard to pick up the paper and read about the next crazy initiative.

So, thank you if you voted. I know it’s a relative pain in the ass. But like other pains in the asses (dentistry, for example) it’s important.

At one point, our home had almost no floors*, including our offices. We had only plywood subfloors, which had been painted years ago (which means the paint contained lead). They were properly described by visitors as “yicky.” And the running joke was, “When are they going to get floors?” Yes, the family seemed to mock us. Thank you very much.

We evaluated literally dozens of floor options on-line, at Home Depot and Lowe’s and at smaller stores throughout the Southland. Ideal Bite is doing the same today as part of Home Improvement week. They’ve listed the following options.

Marmoleum - I think this is an interesting choice. It’s made with natural materials (lineseed oil, tree rosin) and is relatively inexpensive. It looked a little industrial for our cottage, so we passed on it. But in a different space, I think it would work well… ($5/sq ft).

Flor - These are cool modular pieces of flooring that you fit together. We didn’t get this because a. it’s carpeting and we have a dog and are dirty people and I saw my life being devoted to cleaning the carpet and b. it’s expensive. ($10/sq ft).

Teragren - I think bamboo is awesome. It looks like hardwood. Now we didn’t get bamboo because we couldn’t find consistent recommendations for a dealer in the Southland. Some people said that their bamboo was extremely soft and scratched, and with the dog….we passed. ($6/sq ft).

Habitus - Cork flooring sounds really cool, but I think it may not be hard enough to withstand dog abuse by claws. Also, Jim and I could probably collect our own wine corks for this option. Wait, perhpas that explains the supply in the junk drawer. ($4/sq ft).

Recycled Tiles — Tiles are great and excellent with pets, but you need to install tile board underneath to make sure the surface is level or the tiles crack. *That is what happened in our house with the previous owner so we inherited tons and tons of cracked tiles in the kitchen and on a regular basis had the pleasure of stepping on grout that had popped out with bare feet. Youch. In any case, tiles are easy enough to purchase recycled and a good option with level floors.

We ended up going with Forest Stewardship Council-certified hard wood. It’s hard, it’s from a managed forest, and no scratches. No guilt.

Now, you know that when the office (or home) is freshly painted, it still smells. That’s because paint releases organic volatile compounds (OVCs). These chemicals are not your friends. And, say you happened to throw out a can of paint—well, a gallon of paint can pollute 250,000 gallons of groundwater.

Here are a few alternatives from Ideal Bite. Some are pretty earthy-crunchy, but others are found at Lowes.

Anna Sova - get good coat from a paint that’s made from 99% food-grade ingredients and renewables (available Jan ‘07)

American Clay - actually a plaster ($14/50 lbs)

Real Milk Paint - for that “adobe”-style look ($46/gallon)

Yolo Colorhouse - limited range of colors, but exquisite in all other ways ($37/gallon)

Bioshield - both matte and gloss finishes. Also check out their all-natural primer and thinner ($30-50/gallon)

Benjamin Moore Eco Spec - used by some of the top eco-builders out there ($25/gallon)

Olympic - low-odor, Green Seal-approved and widely available at Lowe’s ($17/gallon).

Via Ideal Byte