22nd Nov 2006
In love with your boss?
It’s come to my attention that a large number of people find my blog while searching google for “in love with my boss.”
Welcome to the Spirituality and the Workplace blog. And, yes, I’m the love guru. That sound you hear is me laughing at myself.
Before we begin, here’s my caveat: occasionally great relationships spring out of employer-employee situations. You hope that you can have that.
More often, really painful relationships occur that continue far into death rattles much to the amusement (and disturbance) of coworkers.
Here is the basic problem of being in love with your boss: power inequity. The boss has the power and you do not. Yes, you may be younger, firmer, and more attractive. That’s a certain kind of power. But the boss is the one who may be older, wiser, and most importantly, be able to fire you. Very often this dynamic continues once a romantic relationship begins.
I was told in ministerial training that we only see the positive way that a relationship will go in the begining when we’re attracted to someone. We don’t see how it could possibly go wrong. Now ministers and parishioners have a similar type of power inequity, plus the more explicit presence of God, which apparently some people find sexy. I find it sort of odd. But not sleeping with parishioners was never my particular challenge.
So, if you’re in love with your boss, think deeply about this difference of power. You deserve a partner with whom you are on equal ground.
Resources:
Ask April has some do’s and don’ts.
Ms. Theologian (me!) reflects on the heart and other organs.
