28th Sep 2006
Ms. Theologian Mentors Herself
Dear Ms. Theologian,
Any thoughts on mentorship? What if the only mentors available are either too busy or too hateful? Is there such a thing as self-mentorship? And, how can I mentor others when I personally don’t care to help them in the first place?
Signed,
De-mentor
Dear De-mentor:
Ms. Theologian wishes she had a mentor now too. Someone to rub her shiny hair and tell her she was smart and beautiful. Someone to tell her how to run her business. Someone to advise her on planning for the future. Someone to take her aside and tell her that she’s doing a great job, that this is worth it.
But, alas, there is no mentor.
She remembers how she wanted a mentor in college, but all the smart successful female scientists were too busy for anything other than work and family. And so sans talent or mentor, Ms. Theologian did not become a scientist.
Ms. Theologian remembers how she wanted a mentor in teaching, but she was assigned to a nun, Sister Magdalena. That really didn’t work out. Sister Magdalena did not like Ms. Theologian. She thought she was a little ‘ho (and a bad math teacher).
But then Ms. Theologian stumbled upon another teacher who wanted to partner with her for an interdisciplinary exploration of water quality in the Rio Grande watershed. And that worked out well with happy well-satisfied students. Teaching with her mentor was one of the best professional experiences of her life.
Ms. Theologian remembers how she wanted a mentor in publishing and gravitated toward a woman who was so lovely and funny, but underneath just as troubled as the rest of us. And that worked out for a while.
So, in response to your queries:
What if the only mentors available are either too busy or too hateful?
(Then these mentors aren’t really available).
Is there such a thing as self-mentorship?
(Now that’s a great book idea. Let me think about this. What is it that you want out of a mentorship? Praise? Encouragement? Professional connections. Advice?
Is it possible to give yourself praise and encouragement? Yes.
Is it possible to network yourself into great situations? Also, yes.
Is it possible to give yourself advice? Ha, ha. It happens all the time.
So, yes, I think if you carefully examine what you want from mentorship, you can find some of what you seek. But I also think mentors are all around us…sometimes filling very specific needs.)
And, how can I mentor others when I personally don’t care to help them in the first place?
(Trick question. You can’t.)
–Ms. Theologian
