One of the primary ways to win an argument in graduate school is to throw out the phrase “false dichotomy.” Because, of course, the world is more than black or white, good or bad, vanilla or chocolate. However, one of the ways to get a nonfiction book published seems to be to simplify the world into black and white. In other words, to create a false dichotomy.

I’m fascinated by Caitlin Flanagan, because really I’d like nothing more than to write, stay at home, and make my man happy. And that’s what she calls us all to do. And when you have kids, a nanny is especially helpful. And a housekeeper. Perhaps a cook. And don’t forget about the gardener. Let me quote from her, “When a women works, something is lost.” Yes, something might be lost. Boredom and debt, for example.
Caitlin Flanagan is actually an example of the challenge of the second wave of feminism (and let’s be clear, she’s not a feminist, but an anti-feminist) in which we assume that everyone lives in the first world, is white, straight, and has the same choices. So, good women stay home and service their man (Did anyone see the Colbert report? She sort of promised to make him a happy man. She also seemed like her meds were off a bit). And bad women work. It’s that simple!

And, yes, here’s my subject: that’s a false dichotomy. But a v. popular one! It’s everywhere.

Let’s look at Elizabeth Dole briefly. We’re talking about someone with 20 aides who travels extensively and then tells women to stay home with their families (though frankly if one’s husband had been a Viagra spokeperson telling the world about his penis and its activities and lack thereof, one might have the right, nay, the entitlement to go a bit batty). Good women stay home. Bad women work. Except for the women who work at telling women to stay home. Those women are also good.

Honestly, did anyone group up beyond kindgarten when we learned there were all sorts of colors, not just black and white?