Surviving the Workday

You may already know that I’m a fan of Tonglen Meditation, which a style practiced by Tibetan Buddhists. Tonglen meditation focuses on pleasure and pain; through breathing in pain, you take on the suffering of all, and through breathing out happiness and light, you emit this to all.

Here’s some of the basic steps of Tonglen orientation as recounted by Pema Chodron. You can also hear her at Listen at Tonglen Meditation along with audio.

1. When things are painful, think: other people feel the same thing, often at the same time.

This removes the sense of isolation from the pain, which leads to suffering.

2. Think: May we all be free of this.

3. Think: May I feel this so others are free of it.

Read about a range of meditation techniques here.

I’ve been interested in sustainable architecture for a while, but it seems most architects were not. In a survey in 1999 by the American Institute of Architects, sustainable building practices were the least of their concerns.

Sustainable Architecture Education Behind Schedule

Browse Green Homes for sale.

Read about Deep Ecology.

See the funkiest of sustainable architecture’s children, the Earthship.

Oregon has just applied to build a wave power plant off the coast. Yes, waves. They’re more than just something to smack you down at the beach; they contain “energy,” that amorphous concept that seems so important these days. And unlike fossil fuels, waves are not made from decayed plant and animal material from 200 million years ago. And unlike fossil fuels, waves don’t pollute. And unlike fossil fuels, waves may actually benefit from global warming (more melting, more energy, more waves).

Here’s a diagram of how it works that looks like it came straight from a science textbook.

Treehugger: Wave Power Project Planned in Oregon

A couple of months ago, all the letters to Ms. Theologian seemed to be about jealous in the workplace (I hate my coworker, she gets all the raises. I hate my coworker, her breasts are perkier. I hate my coworker, other people like her more.) I really wasn’t sure what exactly was circulating in the collective unconscious to spur all this envy.

In any case, Debra Dickerson has written an article on Envy, Envy: The Key to My Success.

It was the phenomenal success of the novel “Waiting to Exhale” in the early
‘90s that got me off my comfy couch to start writing, instead of just thinking about it. An awful book, “Waiting to Exhale” sold millions and spawned a literary and cinematic dynasty for its author, Terry MacMillan. I can write at least this well, I thought while reading it. I never resented MacMillan; I just wanted the same thing she had: I want a literary and cinematic dynasty! Seeing her accomplish this made it seem more likely that I could, too. Best of all, we could both be successful writers; a plus mark in her column is not a minus in mine. But if I wanted what MacMillan had, I had to do what she did–write.

Envy, then, need not be the dark side of admiration; it can be the catalyst for healthy competition. Envy adds to the luster of those you envy, it doesn’t catch you up to them. You can join them, not beat them.

Since as far as I can tell my blog is read exclusively by writers and theologians, this should give us some food for thought. I’m not convinced that Waiting to Exhale is an awful book, actually, but has something awful ever inspired you?

I was “inspired” to freelance after seeing the work of countless freelancers and thinking, hey, I could do that fairly easily and then I would get this money. But it wasn’t really envy…at least I don’t think it was. It was that I was able to identify something that might make me fulfilled.

Other stories?

In response to Katrina’s inquiry about teaching spirituality to children….

I don’t actually think you need to teach children to be “spiritual.” I think most of them already are. However, as a culture, we’re pretty quick to squash day dreaming, walking barefoot, and swimming naked in favor of watching TV. Because what needs aren’t addressed on the small screen (or the big screen)? That was sarcasm.

That said, it seems like there are practices worth emphasizing with your kids (and your favorite adults too). They include being outside, appreciating the world around you (which is a form of prayer), being kind, eating together, sharing joys and concerns with one another, helping the greater community, understanding the greater good. Those are all non-religious-centric practices, yet quite spiritual in their own right. Also, here are some resources.

Check out Ten Tips for a Spiritual Summer (almost all of which you can do with your kids) on Beliefnet.

Check out Susan Kramer’s site devoted to prayer and meditation with kids as well as teaching values such as fairness and honesty.

Browse through the books on spirituality and children on Amazon.

Here’s an article on spirituality and children from the UUs, which mentions a big UU practice of Joys and Concerns (big with the kiddies).

Dear Ms. Theologian,

Speaking of courtesy:

-Eavesdropping on Boring Conversations Isn’t a Great Use of Our Time

Dear She Who Insists on Finding a Great Use of Her Work Time:

First, you are challenging Ms. Theologian’s small mind because she loves eavesdropping as much as she loves chocolate. So, forgive her for not understanding the problem completely.

That said, Ms. Theologian is in favor of tactful directness. This means that she would encourage the employee to actually say something directly, such as, “Gee, Esmerelda, I’m having trouble focusing. Could you keep your voice down?” or maybe “Oh, that sounds like a terribly amusing conversation! But do you think you guys could take it to the conference room because I’m under deadline.”

However, Ms. Theologian also recalls that her directness has gotten her in trouble any number of times (The Great College Friend Fight of 1991. The Relationship that Never Happened because Ms. Theologian Hinted about its Possible existence of 1992. The parking ticket incident of 1992. The Don’t Touch My Ass incident of 1995. The We Can’t Have Sex Because You’re Gay, Remember? Incident of 1993. The I Do This Much Work and Should Be Rewarded Justly Incident of 1988-2004). Ms. Theologian is cringing, actually, as she types.

So, see if you can find a way to encourage directness between the employees. If not, perhaps a discussion with the manager. If not, then perhaps some earplugs? An ipod? Some nice chamomile tea for the co-worker? A seating assignment change? Any other ideas from readers?

-Ms. Theologian

P.S. If you would like to write to Ms. Theologian, please send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.

If you’re a Unitarian Universalist and you’re under 35, you fall into a special group. And don’t be flattered because it’s not a compliment. You’re lumped into a big group with people between 18-35 who have events together (potlucks, sleep overs, discussions about movies). Because don’t people have the same issues from 18-35? I mean 18 is practically 35, isn’t it?

Inspired by Lorrie Moore, here is my reaction to my own rhetorical questions:
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
I’m going to stop now.

Unitarian Universalism can come off as so intellectual that it’s only approachable for those of us with PhDs. So no kids. And certainly no one under 35. Go off and do your own thing. Watch those movies from “popular culture.” Just run along. This is Unitarian Universalism at its worst in the U.S. (and on the East Coast).

I’ve been reading Dan Harper’s commentary on Teaching Kids How To Be Religious, which is something I think about and is related to how to teach all people to be religious. Or spiritual. In the very least, aware that life extends beyond their own brains.

One of my favorite ministers who embodies Unitarian Universalism at its best (and yes, I do indeed have a list of favorites) is Hank Pierce with whom I went to divinity school, who had some important things to say about this in Young adults are adults and thus they need to be treated as such.*

*And I should note that I really like Unitarian Universalism. But how we treat young adults is what we call a “growing edge,” an issue that we’re working on.

The Human Rights Campaign published a State of the Workplace report, which found that a majority of Fortune 500 companies offer health benefits to employees’ same-sex partners. As we know, these are expensive benefits for many of us, so it’s nice to see something positive in corporate America. I consider equality and justice fundamental spiritual values and it’s very affirming to read these results.

Read the story in the Washington Post.

Today at lunch at Cayenne, the waiter refilled my water glass by walking around the table to the outside so that he wouldn’t reach over the table interrupting our conversation. It was such a kind thing to do that I was totally overwhelmed and started to blush that someone was so courteous. And, yes, I consider Cayenne to be the workplace.

I’m sure we could have quite the brainstorming session on les faux-pas in the workplace. But for the moment, I’m interested in examples of common courtesy though. Please post in comments.

The Daily Om has some ideas to get you started with Small Gestures: Common Courtesy

Read more about the McVictory.

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No archiving. No resale. See Copyright policy for more information.
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(Greenpeace allows use of images for personal use)

I’m pretty sure Meghan Daum’s recent column Behind Batwoman’s Gayness explains why I have trouble buying clothes:

But I’m not a dope about that 51% of the population known as women, many of whom seem to be undergoing a sexual identity crisis without even knowing it. Maybe baby-doll dresses, chick lit and the Olsen twins have infiltrated our consciousness to the point of oblivion. Whatever the reason, it appears that there are only two ways to go about being female these days: You are either a midriff-bearing, gum-snapping, engagement ring-chasing girly girl or you are a probable lesbian….

Once upon a time, these fully formed creatures were called “real women.” Now they’re called lesbians. This is especially true in cases in which the women in question are not known to actually be lesbians. What do Hillary Rodham Clinton, Condoleezza Rice, Christiane Amanpour, Oprah Winfrey and Martha Stewart have in common? It’s not that they’re accomplished, independent, talented, ambitious or rich, it’s that they’re all secretly gay! Ask anyone who reads Internet blogs.

Make Me an Instrument of Your Peace

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred,
let me sow love,
Where there is injury,
pardon
Where there is doubt,
faith,
Where there is despair,
hope,
Where there is darkness,
light,
Where there is sadness,
joy.

- St. Francis of Assisi

It always makes me feel good when I see other people helping their future coworkers.

Here Katherine Gerdes explains how to draw a croquis, which is the basic figure used for fashion designers. What a much better idea for a tip for your youngster than Fashion Plates. What if we had actually learned how to draw rather than shade the same 1970s templates over and over again? And we all know that plaid doesn’t work with strips anyway!

At risk of starting a widespread panic, I’m posting this in my continual fascination with the world of makeup. As previously noted, I don’t seem to ever remember to put it on. I also rarely seem to remember to wear shoes, but I think these are issues with working at home.

The short version of my concern with parabens? Cosmetics are a major (if not THE major) source of absorbed chemicals. Where does that lotion go when we spread it on? The water in it evaporates (at least here in the desert it does) and most of it soaks in. Parabens are in many beauty products to increase shelf life, but they are traced to all sorts of nasty things, including possibly breast cancer.

Read Beauty’s Beasts for more information.

Several options sans parabens are listed at the bottom of the article including:

NEAL’S YARD
www.drhauschka.co.uk
AUBREY

Those are all British, from what I can tell, so scroll down to my post, Forgive me while I powder my nose to see products for sale in the US.

One of the things that I’ve been thinking about recently is how we share our home spaces and work spaces with others.

For example, one of the really taxing aspects of attending the Tin House Summer Writers Workshop was living in the dorms. And this was entirely because we were sharing space in ways that we weren’t used to. Our dorm was relatively new (circa 1970) compared to the others and mostly cinder blocks sans noticeable insulation. And every noise, from a cough three doors down to a toilet flush at the end of the hall, could be heard throughout the floor. All night long.

I was relating this to my “assistant editor” who told me that she actually lives in the “quiet dorm” in college.

“Is it quiet?” I said.

“Not necessarily,” she said. “But if there’s a lot of noise, you can actually complain about it and someone will do something.”

“Aha!” I said, amusing the assistant. “That’s what we needed! A quiet dorm.”

But, of course, it’s not that easy. I fear that most of us do not know how noisy we really are. While I perceive myself as quiet, I’ve been told that I am in fact one of the noisiest people to live on the planet in the morning. I stumble around, I let the tea kettle squeal, I slam doors, I don’t quiet the dog immediately. I’m a noisy girl through and through. Though, my own perception, is that I am the Model of Quiet and Relaxation (and Christian purity, but we won’t go there).

So with these thoughts in mind, I was delighted to see that the Daily Om has devoted a column to Sharing Space and Energy: Cohabitating Positively. I was also taken by the fact that the Daily Om has no doubt been in my house by this description:

Peace will not likely be the result when the senses are filled with the sight of unwashed plates, intrusive sounds, unpleasant smells, the feel of a foreign substance beneath bare feet, or the taste of food tainted by an uncovered onion in the fridge.

Indeed. A true description of la casa da Stefania. In any event, there is helpful advice in the article for living and working respectfully with others.

I came across this helpful guide to buying plastics to contain food on Healthe House. We all know that some are better than others. You can print it the chart below and put it into your wallet.

Plastic Products at a Glance

And do you have the fish buying chart?

Fish (by mercury level)

Fish (by which types are overfished and should be avoided)

As you might imagine my wallet is full. And not with money.

Seize the religious language and use it.

Ignoring your individual impact on the planet is a S I N.

And I’m not talking about any of the dumber issues that have labeled as sin (divorce, types of sex, letting children have opinions, reading, dogs and cats living together).

The Bishop of London, Richard Chartres says,

“Making selfish choices such as flying on holiday or buying a large car are a symptom of sin. Sin is not just a restricted list of moral mistakes. It is living a life turned in on itself where people ignore the consequences of their actions.”

Word!

Flying On Holiday and Gas Guzzlers Sinful

Dear Energy Companies:

I understand that you and your friends plan to build 150 coal-burning power plants across the United States soon. This disappoints me.

This will contributed to a 10% increase in global gas emissions in the next couple of years. It’s 90 degrees here at 8 a.m. Just FYI — but this seems like the wrong direction to go in.

–Ms. Theologian

P.S. Read There’s a Coal Rush On.

Then replace your incandescent bulbs (which are little heaters) with compact fluorescent light bulbs. For more information, click here.

Use Energy Star appliances whenever you can.

Use ceiling fans, which use 90% less electricity than air conditioning.

Use drapes to keep heat out.

Plant hardwood trees near the east, west, and south sides of the house.

These practices will decrease your use of electricity and consequently your reliance on coal. And really does anyone want to rely too much on coal?

Finally.

I’m not happy with the Boy Scouts and haven’t been for a while (and I was a girl scout, people, a very good girl scout). If we had a son, the son would not be allowed to participate by Law of the Mommy, entirely because a group that doesn’t allow gay men to be leaders isn’t anything I want a son to aspire to.

The City of Philadelphia has decided to revoke an agreement with the Boy Scouts in which the Boy Scout Council got a deep discount on the rent in a city building. Now the Boy Scouts are constitutionally allowed to discriminate (this was upheld in a 2000 Supreme Court Decision). But that doesn’t mean that the city has to subsidize groups with discriminatory policies.

(And to my favorite gay priest in Philadelphia—MWAH, you know who you are!)

Read more: City May Evict Boy Scout Council Over Policy over Gays

Dear Mealy Bugs:

First, I know what you are. I can see you from my window on the prickly pear cacti. You are Mealy. You are a Bug. You turn red and stain when you die. I’ve done my research. You are The Mealy Bug.

Second, I know my options:

1. From Organic Gardening:

Spray with water or insecidal soap. Pray. Repeat.

2. From the Local Nursery:

Ms. Theologian: I need to get rid of mealy bugs. I’ve sprayed them with water and insecticidal soap. They just keep coming back.

Nurseryman: Did you try Malathion?

Ms. Theologian: Hmm….no. I didn’t try Malathion and I didn’t try DDT either. But maybe I could nuke them? Do you think that’s strong enough?

So, in conclusion, mealy bugs, just get off the prickly pear, you’re staining my dog when she rubs by you, you’re making me use water, and you’re making the nursery excited about potential sales of toxicity.

-Ms. Theologian

One of the challenges with summer is that I can’t really be everywhere at once (And Lord knows, I’m so popular that the invitations are just a’ flowin’). And after taking 12 Southwest airlines flights in little over a month, I really don’t want to. (I also never want to wait in one of their freakin’ lines again to get a seat. Wtf is that about, really?)

Now, part of me does indeed roll my eyes at the idea of any event in Aspen (Jim, do you remember when we drove through and couldn’t afford ice cream? Yes, more than 10 years ago, but I blush as if it were yesterday. But also, I’m still not sure we could afford ice cream there now. Perhaps a nice glass of water sans ice for those of us who are peasants). But also I roll my eyes at Aspen as the host for ideas (Idea #1: Create a culture only of obscene wealth and (self-proclaimed) ski bums who work for the obscenely wealthy.)

Ahem. Woke up on the overheated grumpy side of the bed, apparently. Anyway, the Aspen Ideas Festival is about the ideas that shape our time. It has famous guests (Alan Greenspan, E.O. Wilson), and famous sponsors (GE–Boo, Hiss! Chevron–Boo, Hiss!), but it also seems to give us an idea of what is on the public agenda).

Here’s one account from Jacob Gordon at Tree Hugger (Note to Katie about books below: you might like Natural Capitalism for when you’re reading economic theory in your spare time):

Janine Benyus’, book Biomimicry holds a place of honor in the canon of modern sustainability alongside Natural Capitalism and Cradle to Cradle. Benyus is a nature writer turned biomimicry evangelist who travels the world inspiring audiences with the delightful logic of nature/technology holism. In her talk, she outlined the basic principals of biomimicry, which involve drawing on nature’s R&D for three basic areas of innovation: mimicking form, mimicking process, and mimicking ecosystem. She emphasized how biomimicry is not the practice of harnessing living organisms or systems to do our work for us (she recalled an example of a goat engineered to excrete spider silk from its mammaries), but learning from how living systems have evolved to solve problems and survive.

Examples she gave ranged from food crops that resemble the natural intermingling of native species, to cars that cut through the air the way fish are cut through the water. Bringing “biologists to the design table” is one of Benyus’ highest goals, and the Biomimicry Guild is the branch of her movement that trying to facilitate this synthesis. One of the most remarkable things about Benyus’ list of biomimetic applications was that each one she summarized was in some stage of realistic development, whether in a university lab, or imbedded in products on the market. She even made a suggestion or two on where forward-thinking investors might want to sink some of their money.

In any case, I wish I had gone. I’m very interested in sustainable business practices.