Surviving the Workday

If there’s one thing I like to do after a glass of Pinot Grigio, it’s launch into an elaborate explanation of how Ezra was the world’s greatest editor. He edited the Pentateuch, after all, the first five books of the Bible.

And Ezra, being the savvy editor that he was, knew what he was doing. He took from a number of sources (J, E, P, and D) and combined and culled and ended up pleasing just about everyone. He really knew what he was doing. It’s not a coincidence that Genesis has two stories of how Adam and Eve were created. It’s deliberate.

So it was Wednesday night after a long day and night without sleep in Austin that I thought it would be a particularly good time to explain this to my traveling companion, a former Mormon.

I can only be grateful that she was tolerant.

Speaking of tolerance, more about Ezra and his editing abilities at Religious Tolerance (scroll down). And here’s the first ten chapters of Genesis separated by color.

Here’s what was going on in the world of Progressive Faith Blogs this week:

The Velveteen Rabbi muses on creating a non-traditional wedding.

Time’s Fool writes of the spiritual elements of birding.

Think Buddha reflects on sociability and solitude.

The Corner reflects on world poverty.

The Center for Faith in Politics is looking for writers.

J. Shawn Landres writes about an emerging spiritual paradigm.

Real Live Preacher writes about finding the creative energy of God at work.

The Radical Torah writes of reconciling her childhood with the present including life as a queer Jew.

Mystical Montage writes of her visit to the Peace Abbey in Sherborn, Massachusetts.

More to come tomorrow.

Apparently I’m not the only one thinking about loneliness recently.

The American Sociological Review found that in the process of computing, emailing, blackberrying, etc., we’ve lost a friend for every three we once had.

Beliefnet is seeking tips on battling loneliness. Click here to send 100 words and for possible publication. And, Katie, they want specific examples!

I’ve been in Austin again for a few days for “business”. It’s really a cool place. Something about the combination of a big university and a state capitol makes for a great community. Also, it’s not a corporate town.

Santa Clarita, outside of which I live, is a corporate town. The “town center” is the mall. And I’m not kidding. The formal center of town is actually a lame mall, complete with Sears, Penneys and Robinsons-May.

But Austin’s center is the capitol and the university. Amazing. And there’s tons of cool independent small businesses. Not a Gap in sight.

I compiled a short list of other towns that seem non-corporate and independent in spirit.

Northampton, Massachusetts
Santa Fe, New Mexico
Madison, Wisconsin
Santa Cruz, California (?)
Berkeley, Caifornia
Burlington, Vermont
Missoula, Montana

And I’m open to other suggestions.

I hope GhostGirl’s reading!

1. What has been your best job? Why? Your worst? Why?

2. What do you do when you are particularly stressed in order to release stress? And remember, kids, this is a family blog.

3. How has your upbringing guided your day to day decisions? Give an example.

4. If you could found your own church/synagogue/temple of some sort, what would you worship? (Cats is not a viable option)

5. What was the weirdest thing you overheard someone say? (e.g., like an overheard half cell phone conversation or someone on the subway)

I’m sitting on the floor at the Phoenix airport. I’m plugged into the only available outlet, which is conveniently located right by the trash can. Now that’s an attractive picture, isn’t it?

Business travel is never flights that are on time, meals that taste good, and comfortable clothes. It’s delayed flights, Pizza Hut and Cinnabon, and a woman changing a diaper nearby. And I know where she’s going to throw it out.

I think I’m supposed to be organizing the Progressive Faith Blog Carnival this week.

I say I “think” because it’s on my calendar, yet I can’t find the email (blame the dead hard drive) and I don’t see any mention of it on their site.

My understanding is that at the week’s end, I post links to different progressive faith blogs and a brief summary. On the other hand, I could be wrong. I could, in fact, be totally wrong.

So if you hear anything, please let me know.

I hope Mary sees this!

1. Describe your religious upbringing or lackthereof? How does this affect you today?

2. If you could lunch with any historical figure (famous or not), who would it be, where would you have lunch and what would you eat?

3. How do you nurture yourself throughout the day?

4. What were the best and worst jobs you’ve ever had?

5. What is your proudest moment at the workplace? Most humiliated?

6. When have you felt that you transcended time and space? (Bonus Question)

Interview Guidelines
1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me” ONLY IF: I have either met you or exchanged emails with you before, AND if you have a blog.
2. I will respond with five questions. I pick the Q’s.
3. You will update your blog with the answers
4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else

I took a night class at Boston College on the psalms, which was taught by a priest on the cusp of retirement. He said that more than anything else, the psalms addressed a fundamental human need: relief from loneliness.

The class was mostly working professionals who only had time to attend BC at night. This included me. But most of the women in the class were Catholic and intent on working in a pastoral fashion in the Catholic Church. It amused the priest to think I would travel from Cambridge to take his class. But what he didn’t understand was that the classes away from Harvard were the best—my classmates also struggled to find time to complete their readings and papers, they hadn’t taken out loans and used trust funds to afford their education, they had earned each class, dollar by dollar.

He used to take the same bus as I did home from class and often he sat in front of me. We would talk for a while, but inevitably, he would end up staring out into the nighttime suburbs of Boston as we were transported back to Cambridge and I would return to my readings. I think he knew loneliness well.

I am beginning to think about loneliness again, not because I am lonely, necessarily, but because I am beginning to identify the barriers in our everyday lives that set us apart from one another, that keep us from community, that make us feel truly and existentially alone in the world.

Prayer for Those in Need

Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer.
From the end of the earth will I call unto Thee, when my heart fainteth; lead me to a rock that is too high for me.
For Thou hast been a refuge for me, a tower of strength in the face of the enemy.
I will dwell in Thy Tent for ever; I will take refuge in the covert of Thy wings. Selah

- Psalms 61: 2-5 from Beliefnet

Here’s the final answer for Katie.*

5) What example of human behaviour inspires you and makes your heart sing? What saddens you? Specific examples, please.

Both examples that I’ve chosen seem to do with with connection.

Vandana Shiva is an Indian physicist, but she is also someone who makes connections between disciplines. She is the leader of an anti-globalization movement and does important work on poverty. From Ode Magazine:

Two of the great economic myths of our time allow people to deny this intimate link, and spread misconceptions about what poverty is.
First, the destruction of nature and of people’s ability to look after themselves are blamed not on industrial growth and economic colonialism, but on poor people themselves. Poverty, it is stated, causes environmental destruction. The disease is then offered as a cure: further economic growth is supposed to solve the very problems of poverty and ecological decline that it gave rise to in the first place.

The second myth is an assumption that if you consume what you produce, you do not really produce, at least not economically speaking. If I grow my own food, and do not sell it, then it doesn’t contribute to GDP, and therefore does not contribute towards “growth”.

Vandana Shiva inspires me. I’m not sure what she inspires me to, but I’m working on it.

One of the things that saddens me is how frightened most of us are. For example, I live outside a city that is something like the fifth safest medium-sized city in the United States, according to the F.B.I. In other words, pretty darn safe. But people walk around as if they are just second away from being abducted by some big guy with a knife and that for their own protection they have encased themselves in a bubble that prevents communication with others. God forbid you ask a stranger a question or say excuse me at the supermarket. It’s as if you’ve disturbed the bubble of safety. People are absolutely shocked.

For example, I’m on the local water board and we had our annual meeting today, which included a potluck. I feared that we would get an even smaller turnout than usual because the potluck guaranteed that you might actually have to sit near a neighbor and talk. God forbid. And, sure enough, we got the small turnout of mostly board members, their families, and close affiliations. No one else came and I don’t think it’s because they hate the board. It’s because they are fearful of other human contact.

What is disturbing about this is that I fear the lack of community in our small community is not unique, but a symptom of a culture in which everyone just wants to be left alone to work all day and then come home, double bolt the door, and turn on the tube.

Human beings are not as autonomous as we all think. Without connection to others in community, we’re left on our own in our little bubbles and I hope we all remember the magician who stayed in his own water bubble. He swam in his own pee. There’s a good reason to leave the comfort of the bubble.

Interview Guidelines
1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me” ONLY IF: I have either met you or exchanged emails with you before, AND if you have a blog.
2. I will respond with five questions (found in the comments section). I pick the Q’s.
3. You will update your blog with the answers
4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else

Let Us Rise Up and Be Thankful

Let us rise up and be thankful,
for if we didn’t learn a lot today,
at least we learned a little,
and if we didn’t learn a little,
at least we didn’t get sick,
and if we got sick,
at least we didn’t die;
so let us all be thankful.

- The Buddha from Beliefnet

Join a Buddhist Online Prayer Circle here.

How much do you know about Summer Solstice?

I got 6 out of 9!

4) What made you choose where you live right now and if you could live anywhere else in the world, where would you be?

We live in rural Los Angeles County as do a lot of other people. Many people think Los Angeles is just the Westside, but that’s just gross. We are on the edge of the Mojave, at around 3000 feet above sea level, the high desert. We have the benefits of less smog and less traffic as well as access to the cultural resources of LA.

We bought a house here because it was the best house we could afford. It’s that simple. I remember when we brought a contractor to look at the house, he said it had a lot of “delayed maintenance issues” and then I looked up and a red-tailed hawk was soaring over head. Sold.

Recently, we’ve been restless. I’m not sure if it’s the seven year itch you hear so much about or if we’ve simply outgrown our neighborhood. Some of the habits that seemed peculiar, if not quaint and rural (ATVs everywhere in the backcountry behind our house, guns everywhere, attitudes towards anything liberal or minority that make me cringe) are bringing us down.

Together, Jim and I have lived in Santa Fe as well as Pojoaque in New Mexico, Boston, Massachusetts, as well as Santa Barbara while we were buying our house here. These are all nice places, so I fear that whatever makes us restless needs to be resolved within and not without.

I continue to answer Katie’s* questions.

3) Do you have one specific example of your daily behaviour that you know is influenced by your studies in theology?

Hmmm…theological education isn’t necessarily the sort of thing that changes your coffee preference to tea or lengthens your skirts or makes you find spirituality in dirty laundry. On a daily basis, I pay more attention to my breath, to the chattering of my mind, I meditate and pray more.

However, theological education, in particular, ministry and seminary, made me aware of the presence of narcissists in my own life (you know who you are, but I know you’re not reading my blog because that, my friend, is contrary to the nature of a narcissist). Not only in my personal life, but in my professional life at divinity school and at work in churches and hospitals. I’ve never met a group of people that were so interested in themselves before I went to divinity school.

Dr. Vaknin wrote a book about narcissists. In an interview, he says (in response to How do you recognize a narcissist?):

It is close to impossible and that is the secret of their astounding success. Narcissists are good actors. They are adept at charming others, persuading them, manipulating them, or otherwise influencing them to do their bidding. Narcissists are preoccuopied with grandiose fantasies unrealistic plans. They are poor judges of reality. They are bullies and often resort to verbal and emotional abuse. They exploit people and then discard them. They have no empathy and regard their co-workers as mere instruments objects, tools, and sources of adulation, affirmation, or potential benefits.

Sounds like a charming work environment, no? It has only been recently that I realized that this was one of my troubles in divinity school.

For example, say I want to make a comment in class at divinity school. Now, normally raising one’s hand is the appropriate way to start the process. But narcissists don’t yield the floor to anyone and they interrupt others at will. It was close to impossible to participate in any discussions in divinity school because the narcissists would be fighting for floor time. One man in particular, who was a semi-famous artist turned seminarian loved to “enthrall” us by giving examples about how insightful he was, how much he loved his wife, what a great feminist he was, what a great father he would be….until another narcissist interrupted him with the same sort of bullshit.

And it wasn’t like it was over after divinity school. These people would have been my colleagues for the rest of my life. That’s not to say that everyone was like this. But the non-narcissists were in the minority while the narcissists entertained themselves building monuments to themselves (also known as churches).

So spirituality aside, self-care is at the root of everything to do with being human. And staying away from narcissists is one of my primary life strategies now. I had no idea before divinity school. And now I do.

*Interview Guidelines
1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me” ONLY IF: I have either met you or exchanged emails with you before, AND if you have a blog.
2. I will respond with five questions (found in the comments section). I pick the Q’s.
3. You will update your blog with the answers
4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else

I must be working hard! I forgot about the solstice!

How to Celebrate the Solstice!

And the Pagan Spirit Gathering!

Your family may think so.

I’m laughing out loud at the survey results of more than 10,000 readers of Beliefnet.

3. Do you know someone you think might go to hell?
Yes 56%
No 44%

3a. How do you know the people you think might go to hell?
(Asked of those who replied “yes” to #3)
Acquaintances 54%
Coworkers 9%
Family 24%
Friends 13%

Family!!! 24% of those who think they know someone going to hell think it’s a member of their own family. Just think of what your family thinks of you!

For more results from Who’s Going to Hell?

As the deer longs for the water-brooks,
so longs my soul for you, O God.

My soul is athirst for God, athirst for the living God;
when shall I come to appear before the presence of God?

My tears have been my food day and night,
while all day long they say to me, “Where now is your God?”

I pour out my soul when I think on these things;
how I went with the multitude and led them into the house of God,

With the voice of praise and thanksgiving,
among those who keep holy-day.

Why are you so full of heaviness, O my soul?
and why are you so disquieted within me?

Put your trust in God;
for I will yet give thanks to him, who is the help of my countenance, and my God.

I’m continuing to answer questions from Katie* despite the fact that I should really retract my response to Question 1 because I found out Lewis and Clark ate dogs. Actually only Lewis ate dogs, but so did the entire expedition except for Clark.

Honestly. Sometimes research is a bad thing.

So I’m amending my answer to include accompanying Darwin on the voyage of the Beagle, until I find something disgusting about that expedition.

But let’s continue.

2) What superpower do you pick to have?

I’d like to be a better psychic.

That is to say that I have fairly strong intuitive powers right now. I usually know when something good is going to happen. I sometimes know if something bad is going to happen. But I never know exactly what. And a “funny feeling” can quickly become an “irritating feeling” if I can’t attribute it to a specific cause.

I’m searching for a story for Katie, but all the stories seem to expose people I know, so I’ll leave it at this: I know things. I’m just not sure what I know.

Interview Guidelines
1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me” ONLY IF: I have either met you or exchanged emails with you before, AND if you have a blog.
2. I will respond with five questions (found in the comments section). I pick the Q’s.
3. You will update your blog with the answers
4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else

According to the Barna Group, Americans are embracing church at home:

The new study, based on interviews with more than five thousand randomly selected adults from across the nation, found that 9% of adults attend a house church during a typical week. That is remarkable growth in the past decade, shooting up from just 1% to near double-digit involvement. In total, one out of five adults attends a house church at least once a month.

This is fascinating, because it is yet another move away from traditional church going. Because home church groups are smaller, they can be more flexible and address more specific needs, which might get lost in a larger traditional church.

I desired to be interviewed* by Katie, but, boy, is she some tough interviewer. I can only handle one question a day.

1) If you could travel back in time and live for one year (with all basic necessities covered, and no one would know you were from the future) when would you pick and why?

After literally hours of thought about this, I have an answer.

I’ll summarize my thought process. First, I’m not a good historian, but I do know that most of history seems misogynistic and cruel to me. Do I want to not be able to vote? To be owned by a man? To not have my own money? I think not. So that ruled out most of historical Europe. Just kidding. Sort of.

In any case, I thought perhaps one of these matrilineal societies in Greece or the Amazon might be interesting, but the more I read about them, the more it seemed that this was pseudo-real. In other words, many people who want to believe that there were gender-equal societies so much that they read the evidence that way. Not intentionally misleading….just not a complete understanding.

So I came to this realization—I want an adventure, I want a physical challenge, I want wilderness. I’ll hang out with Lewis and Clark for a year. They hike, they write in their journals, they identify birds, plants, and animals. Yes, it’s dangerous and there’s not a lot of food, but, hey, you asked.

I spent summers (or parts of summers) in the wild west (Montana, Wyoming) from 1992 to 1996 and really loved it. I enjoy the sense of space, the wildness, the wildlife. I like sitting and writing or sketching. I like hiking.

And with the caveat that I’d come out okay in the end, I’m definitely sure I’d like to spend time with Lewis and Clark.

*Explanation of the Interview Game.

Interview Guidelines
1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me” ONLY IF: I have either met you or exchanged emails with you before, AND if you have a blog.
2. I will respond with five questions (found in the comments section). I pick the Q’s.
3. You will update your blog with the answers
4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else

I devote a fair amount of attention to the troubles of being female, particularly in fields that have been traditionally male-dominated.

But it’s time to pause for a moment to look at the troubles of being male, which are certainly plentiful as well, not just in the workplace, but in the image of manhood in popular culture.

Lakshmi Chaudry has written an excellent article in Alternet on the Growing Up to be Boys:

This shift in the dominant image of manhood is most evident in the evolution of the so-called “Family Man.” The benevolent patriarch of the ’50s has been replaced by an adult teenager who spends his time sneaking off to hang out with the boys, eyeing the hot chick over his wife’s shoulder, or buying cool new toys. Like a fourteen-year-old, this guy can’t be trusted with the simplest of domestic tasks, be it cooking dinner for the kids or shopping for groceries.

These pop culture images are all the more striking because they directly contradict the experiences of men in the real world. Women may still bear the greater burden of domestic work, but American males today do more at home than their fathers, and are happy doing it.

In any case, it seems to me that once consumer culture gets ahold of your image (manhood), you need to remain vigilant.