14th Apr 2006
Ms. Theologian Contemplates Choice
Ms. Theologian,
In reading your response to Hates My Job, I agree that things aren’t either/or. My problem is that I find too many options. In my job, I will give my clients options for the work I am doing for them. Most of the time, I really couldn’t care less which choice the client makes - all options will work. But I think they get overwhelmed by the options. I have this problem in my personal life as well. Always considering the options. Maybe it’s the ADD in me, but it can be very frustrating for me and others. It’s not that I can’t make decisions, it’s that I want variety.
Ms. Variety Spice
Dear Ms. Variety Spice:
We all want variety and choices (Don’t I sound like a swinger?). We really do though.
When we remodeled our home, we were rapidly overwhelmed by the options, even for one room (let’s take the kitchen) and our budget. Type of stove? Color of paint? Type of flooring? Type of Cabinet? Placement of Cabinet? Type of Kitchen Island? Placement of Island? Wait, maybe not an island, but a long cabinet that is island-height. Wait, maybe not a long cabinet, but a shorter cabinet with an added on partition that would give us more flexible use of space. You see what I mean.
It makes me exhausted thinking about it.
Here is how we solved the problem. We figured out the higher principles that we wanted to address. We wanted a country home with natural furnishings that gave us the most use of space. Then we ranked those principles:
1. Country
2. Natural
3. Small
So if it wasn’t country we didn’t buy it. If it wasn’t natural we didn’t buy it. If it took up too much space, we didn’t buy it.
But what about if it was small, say a wire soap dish, but not country? Didn’t buy it. What if it was country, like a baker’s rack, but it was enormous? We still didn’t buy it.
You need to figure out what the higher principles are. You can even use this with your clients. What do you value? Your relationship with God? Your creative life? Your internal life? Your body and physical fitness? Your connections to other people? And then (goddess help us) you need to prioritize them.
1. Relationship with God.
2. Relationship with family and friends (who often function as family).
3. Creative life.
4. Physical fitness.
5. Internal life.
6. Work life.
Those are just examples.
So, if your choice is between going to work early or going to work out early, you figure out how it addresses your principles. If exercise is more important to you, then you exercise. If work is more important, then you work.
Yes, it’s not that simple, but you need to return to the higher principles over and over and over. This is why planners like Stephen Covey have you figure out your principles first.
Without knowledge of what is truly important to you, the choices for what to do and how to behave in life are endless and nothing could be more frustrating.
XO,
Ms. Theologian
P.S. If you would like to write to Ms. Theologian, send an email with your problem described to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.
