30th Mar 2006
Ms. Theologian comments on that blah feeling
Ms. Theologian–
I feel totally blah-blah-blah. I wish I could describe it better. I stay in bed too long in the morning because I don’t want to get up and then I run late to work. I usually skip lunch because I’m behind and then stay late because I’m unproductive and IMing my friends all day trying not to do my dumb job. Then I go home, pop in a turkey dinner into the microwave, watch some TV, and hit the sack. I used to like my work, but it doesn’t excite me anymore.
My dad died a while ago, and I should feel better but I can’t stop thinking about it. He wasn’t a great dad, but I don’t seem to have any way to recover from it.
Lost
Dear Lost:
I’m really sorry to hear about your father. There is a great sense of totally aloneness and abandonment that many people feel after the death of a parent and I’m really sorry that you may be there now.
Please see your doctor and have a depression screening. Your doctor may advise that you see a therapist and/or suggest an antidepressant. There are options out there, but once brains get into this particular funk sometimes they need a jumpstart to get undepressed. Sometimes depression occurs with a trigger (like a death), sometimes not. Please see your doctor.
There are other things which you should do after that:
You don’t mention exercise, but there are some studies in which exercise is as effective as antidepressants for alleviating depression. I’m not suggesting skipping anything your doctor says, but I am suggesting that some movement might help, preferably something fun.
You mention skipping meals and then what amounts to a TV dinner. Try eating fresh foods regularly (like 3 or 4 times a day). Bodies really don’t run well on processed crap or on nothing at all.
From your description of your life, you are entirely alone. I’m not sure if you’ve left out a significant other or if you really are alone. Find ways to connect to your coworkers, friends, and family. Please find a way to reach out to others. Company can help.
Although it would be easy to think that your job is the problem, I think you should refrain from making any major decisions without getting a more objective opinion, probably from a doctor or therapist. If you are depressed, you may not want to shift jobs until you address the depression issues.
Finally, although you could have received most of the advice above from any advice columnist (or any blogger), I would like to add one thing:
Find your Truth.
Without having a clear idea of what is important to you (god, work, love, companionship, kindness, empathy, connectionetc.), it is really impossible to sustain a work life because it’s not clear why you are working. What do you think is truly important in life? How are you working toward that everyday? These are important questions and it’s important to take your responses seriously. You may not be able to answer these questions immediately, but spend some time getting to know yourself. You may surprise yourself.
-Ms. Theologian
P.S. To write to Ms. Theologian, send an email to ms dot theologian at gmail dot com.
