Surviving the Workday

Dear Ms. Theologian;I manage a small but demanding team. My job involves a lot of multi-tasking and can often times be very stressful. My team members can be very pushy and impatient. One of them has a reputation of being a real cry baby. Some days the stress of managing such self-absorbed team members really gets to me, and I find myself yelling at them. Awful, but true. What are some tips for keeping the peace in such a chaotic workplace? Keep in mind the people I work with are very irrational and not always cooperative. They even spit food and crap in their pants.

Signed,

Boiling Point

Dear Boiling Point,

I hear that you are very frustrated and that you find the environment very chaotic. You are doing a very difficult job with challenging team members.

The best reason not to yell is that it is largely ineffective. The second best reason not to yell is that it models behavior you certainly don’t want to see from your team members, especially when they’re older and bigger.

You may find Stop the Yelling! and Reminders about Discipline helpful.

It is easy to forget in motherhood how to take care of yourself because of the pressing needs of your team members. The team members are very important, but if you don’t take care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual health, then you can’t take care of them. It sounds like you are neglecting yourself, which is pushing you to this point of frustration.

Try focusing on your breath. There is really nothing more basic than this. And breathing exercises can be done anywhere at anytime. You can go with simple breathing exercises or more complex yogic breathing.

Try a mantra. While many mantras are rooted in a religious tradition, there is nothing wrong with one that you make up. I like, “I am calm and relaxed.” I have a friend who uses, “I am okay” during times of stress. Even a more global mantra, such as “May Peace Prevail on Earth” may seem quite relevant to your coworkers.

Try meditation. The “trick” with meditation is not to give up. It is hard to clear your mind, but it is the process that counts just as much as the outcome.

Try prayer. There is no right way to pray. Find a quiet place (locking yourself in the bathroom may work), close your eyes, breath, and say what your heart feels. You don’t have to address anyone. You don’t need to expect a reply.

Try scheduling time to yourself. This does not include time by yourself cleaning the bathroom, doing the dishes, or vaccuuming. No, this is time for yourself doing things you used to do and enjoy before you began managing the team: seeing a movie, reading a book, writing in your journal, taking a walk, spacing out, getting a massage, whatever.

There is no overnight success strategy for managing your team, but any of these approaches applied consistently should decrease your frustration level and quiet your workplace (not completely, that’s creepy).

–Ms. Theologian

This entry was posted by Ms. Theologian on Wednesday, January 25th, 2006 at 11:21 am and is filed under letters You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.