Surviving the Workday

Archive for December, 2005

04th Dec 2005

Ms. Theologian responds to blessings (not given to her, mind you).

Dear Ms. Theologian:In conversation, when talking about other people (especially when pointing out a foible or, conversely, pointing out a good quality), I often say their name and quickly follow it with “God bless ‘em”.

Now, even though I say it partially in jest, I earnestly mean the blessing. Do you think it counts in their favor or is it passed up as lip service? Just curious.

–Curious

Dear Curious:

Ms. Theologian is of two minds regarding this question.

Mind #1: This part of Ms. Theologian’s mind is not very mature, yet it appreciates irony. The irony is that although you say, “God Bless, Hildegarde,” you may follow it up with a criticism. And that’s amusing to Ms. Theologian.

Mind #2: This is part of Ms. Theologian’s mind that is slightly more mature and less irony-appreciating. She thinks that if you really want to bestow a blessing, say something positive about your coworker and leave out the criticism.

Bless you,

–Ms. Theologian

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02nd Dec 2005

Ms. Theologian Contemplates PWC (People With Children)

Dear Ms. Theologian,I’m really and truly pleased for those adults who procreate. I’m even more pleased when they care for their children well and hold down decent jobs.

What does not please me is when I work in an office with said procreaters who get to leave early/take unpaid leave/leave workundone/etc/etc because they are parents and have to a) pick their children up at daycare or b) stay home because it’s school vacation and their nanny has the flu or c) have to work from home when no one else gets to because Biff has a cold. Etc.

Now, I am not heartless, and I do want their children to be well cared for, it’s just that many times what happens is that I and my other childless coworkers are left to pick up the slack. And this makes me a) angry, b) bitter, and c) feel bad that I don’t have a kid of my own.

Truthfully, there have been times I’ve felt like I was about to blow over the whole thing.

I guess I don’t really know what my question is other than how can I get these folks to be more sensitive both to the needs of their children and their coworkers.

Thank you.

Signed,
Childless in Chicago

Dear Childless:

Oh how Ms. Theologian relates to your letter. And thank you for providing a clear cut dilemma. Here’s your plain and simple answer: you can’t get these folks to be more sensitive to your needs (or their children). You simply can’t. You may be able to work on management from an equity point of view.

What we need is flex time for everyone, so it doesn’t matter if you have an infant, an aging mother, a sick dog, or you’re just needing time with your own inner child, you can still work at home in the afternoon or come in late on Wednesdays or whatever. It’s not going to happen unless people ask for it.

How do you ask for it? You might broach the topic with your boss in reference to adopting a policy across the board to address emergencies that require flex time. You might talk with other childless coworkers to make a sample list of what exactly you want (e.g., Do you want the option to work at home on Thursdays? Do you want the option to extend deadlines if an emergency comes up so that you don’t pick up someone else’s slack?) What exactly do you want? Figure it out. And ask for it.

Childless in a Child-Centered Haven,

–Ms. Theologian

Posted in letters | 2 Comments »

02nd Dec 2005

Ms. Theologian Contemplates Job Satisfaction

Dear Ms Theologian,It has recently come to my attention that I was hired at a lower level of seniority than I was led to believe in all my interviews. I was told it was a management position, and when I was offered the job I was told it was the same as what I interviewed for (I have this in writing.) But I come to find it’s really a lead position. Lower level than expected, but same level as my previous position at another company.

The thing is, I’m miffed about this, but am okay with the salary and am actually sort of relieved as this means there are lower expectations and less responsibility. At this time in my life I kind of need a break, and if I eventually have kids then I will not want something with high stress.

At the same time, I’m annoyed because in my old position, I actually did the job of a manager. I had three times more direct reports, a lot more responsibility, and I am coming to find that despite the stress, it was far more satisfying than my current job. I’m also a little irritated as it seems like they are discounting my abilities (which didn’t come out in the interview as they talked the whole time and
never asked any pertinent questions.)

I guess my question is, what can I do to become more satisfied with my job without increasing my level of responsibility and hence my stress?

Signed,

Not Sure if I’m Disgruntled or Not

Dear Not sure:

Ms. Theologian received very little sleep and so her response will be straight to the point. She’s not convinced that managing more people or having more responsibilities will make you more satisfied.

This is more an issue of acceptance of where you are and who you are. You could make a stink about your job level or salary and what you expected and what you got, but it’s not going to go over well and, frankly, you seem to be comfortable with your lead responsibilities. This is all fine.

It’s okay to be where you are. Say it with me.

Yours,

–Ms. Theologian

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