25th Nov 2005

Ms. Theologian replies to a self-proclaimed jealous bitch

Dear Ms. Theologian–I am a jealous bitch. I cringe typing this, but it’s true.

I have two wonderful children and an awesome husband. But while I’m at work, I can’t help be jealous of the cool twentysomethings with their butt-crack pants, interesting dates, and vodka martinis. I catch myself deliberately eavesdropping during the day, just for some detail about who smooched who, and so on.

Help! Remind me of why my life is so great.

–Jealous Bitch

Dear Jealous:

Let Ms. Theologian remind you of this:

Life is hard for everyone.

It doesn’t always seem this way, but it is true.

Let’s engage in a thought experiment (Einstein used these to develop his theory of special relativity, so you are in good company). Say you are twentysomething. Picture your apartment. Did you envision a spacious studio with bright light and hardwood floors? Think again. That was Ally McBeal and even she had a roomie. Most folks can’t come close to affording that and live with several roommates, who have a variety of personal habits that seem fairly annoying (too many cats, not flushing, sticking garlic in ears to keep away vampires, and I’m just drawing from personal experience).

Now think of why you are drinking those vodka martinis: Loneliness and social uncomfortability as you navigate a difficult bar scene trying to find Mr. Right.

Finally, think of those butt-crack pants and the special low rise underwear you must purchase at Victoria’s Secret. (What’s Victoria’s Secret? She’s f-ing uncomfortable.)

Rejoice in this, Jealous, you have already found what most twentysomethings in your office are looking for. You are comfortable.

Second, (and more seriously) have you ever used a mantra? This is a phrase that you can repeat during the day (hundreds, thousands!) of times, particularly when you find yourself eavesdropping in a bathroom stall trying to figure out what happened at the bar Thursday night to those coworkers.

A suggested mantra (or write your own):

I love my kids. I love my husband. I chose this life and I love it.

Repeat it to yourself often. The vodka martinis, butt-crack pants, and dates are just static. Tune it out. This is your life.

–Ms. Theologian

This entry was posted by Ms. Theologian on Friday, November 25th, 2005 at 11:50 am and is filed under letters You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

2 Responses to “Ms. Theologian replies to a self-proclaimed jealous bitch”

  1. November 25th, 2005 at 2:32 pm G-Man Says:

    First, thanks for dropping by my blog. I appreciate the kind words.
    Your blog is quite different from most I have visited in that your focus seems so positive and, therefore, refreshing.
    I have often wondered how one can succeed spiritually in a world that is based on consuming for the sake of consuming.
    I will bookmark you; I look forward to any suggestions related to the above question.
    Have a sunshiny weekend.

  2. November 25th, 2005 at 4:50 pm Stephanie Says:

    Thanks for your kind words as well, g-man. :)