Dear Ms. Theologian –I was laid off four months ago when I was six months pregnant. I now have a beautiful baby boy. The problem? My ex-boss keeps calling me. It was a horrible job and I don’t want to deal with her, but now she’s stopping by with baby clothes from her grandchildren. What should I do?

–Happy and Unemployed

Dear Happy –

Ms. Theologian is sooooo pleased with the birth of your baby. She is not pleased with the your continued interest from your boss. She sees three options:

a. leaving the house when you see her pull up (granted, covert moves may be more difficult with a baby strapped to breast)

b. opening the door, but not inviting her in, “We just refinished the floors with asphalt and don’t want you stuck in them.”

c. an honest conversation with her

A wise woman once told Ms. Theologian that pretending to be nice wasn’t nice. Ms. Theologian was shocked! She thought it was nice! She’s slow that way. Perhaps you can have a conversation with her, “Ex-boss, I really appreciate your gestures of kindness to me. However, seeing you reminds me of a really painful period of time in my life. I’d prefer not to see you right now.”

That feels compassionate and honest.

–Ms. Theologian